I am waiting for the day when....

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..... Ali Young endorses Liz Earle as much as Decleor

..... Lulu admits she still uses botox
 
...when Claire Sutton does her cheeky girly wirly smile to camera,squeeks "wowzers" and then self combusts into a pile of Folly Dust!

...when Charlie Brook slooowly picks up a Diamonique box,does his reveal and then drop kicks it accross the studio!

...when Dale says how slender his hands are.

...when Keeley from Elemis says don't waste you hard earned money on this,it's a pile of overpriced poo!
 
Ali leaves the beauty world behind and joins the boxing fraternity, going into the ring as Ali 'literally for you' Young. All ST.Com FMs can follow her over to Vegas, and cheer as her opponent, possibly Liz 'aloe vera' Earle, literally knocks her out with a quick right hook to the gob area. And then Sazza gets into the ring and knocks Queen Liz out; that'll teach her for causing allergic reactions to miffed moderators everywhere.
 
I'm waiting for the day when Sharon (the model) goes to grab the fake column on set (like she does) and it goes flying, along with Sharon who then accidentally headbutts the said column and her Ken Paves wig slips forward! :emo:
 
There’s a mix-up in the gallery and the sound stays live at the end of an hour, with guests who now think they are off-air heard to utter the following:

Liz Earle demands an oxygen mask, Indian head massage, vitamin E injection (natural source) and a large gin and ethically produced tonic water, to which a minion is heard in frightened tones to respond “yes Miss Earle, certainly Miss Earle, is there anything else Miss Earle?”

Kelly Hoppen comments that the stuff she’s just sold is not as chavvy in real life as it seemed when the person who actually designed it first showed her the drawings (which was five mins before she went on air)

Suarti, in a broad Mancunian accent, says “Ooh someone bring us a fag will ya I’m gaspin’ ”

Tova breaks wind and says she can’t wait to get her wig off

(Apols for lowering the tone here :giggle:)
 
...when Claire Sutton does her cheeky girly wirly smile to camera,squeeks "wowzers" and then self combusts into a pile of Folly Dust!

...when Charlie Brook slooowly picks up a Diamonique box,does his reveal and then drop kicks it accross the studio!

...when Dale says how slender his hands are.

...when Keeley from Elemis says don't waste you hard earned money on this,it's a pile of overpriced poo!

:mysmilie_15: Tea spluttering accross the keyboard moment :mysmilie_15:
 
....someone slaps AY back, pulls her hair and then gets up and starts bobbing and weaving saying " You wanna piece of me? Come and get it Gobby!"

...a hunter stalks onto the set, shoots Basso and then drags his body off by one leg yelling "Look at the size of this one. The head is definitely goin' on my wall!!"
 
...AY says 'you know what, just go down the high street and get a bottle of Olay, it's just as good if not better than all this ***** I'm trying to flog, in fact - I don't bother with any of it, I just slather myself in Zinc and Castor Oil twice a day...'

...Joolyer is forced to do a King's Realm show and eat Andrew's Sawsijies (1 in number)...

...All the female presenters are forced to ONLY wear QVC clothes on air, thus we get Julia presenting a highly sophisticated jewellery hour in a Quacker Factory Sequinned Santa's Xmas Yule Log sweater and Michelle Hopeless animal print elasticated waist band skirt (replete with toe post mules), Ali Keenan in a stretchy little Kim N Co Lime Green Capri Pant with Indigo Moon tapestry jacket in Poo Brown etc etc etc...

...The mic packs are switched on early before a show and thus we hear Julian Ballantyne talking in RP before switching to 'bubbly manc' when on air, Claire talking like Gracie Fields before coming over all posh bird and Charlie 'ooh arrrr ing', before putting his ventolin inhaler down and talking upper crust...
 
I'm waiting for the day when 'a trouser' become a pair of trousers again. I'm sick of a everything that comes in a pair becomes singular. I actually heard a guest yesterday say 'a scissor'.
 
When the presenters will say "and don't forget to add P&P to the price!"

When Jennifer Kirk will forget her mike is on and says , they must be mugs believe all the fairy nonsense I talk - but who cares it makes me lots of money

They will show diamonds that actually sparkle.
 
molton brown and jill goldsmith return to qvc with stories of the distant tropical land she has been marooned on for the last few years
lee returns as the philosophy guest
 
molton brown and jill goldsmith return to qvc with stories of the distant tropical land she has been marooned on for the last few years
lee returns as the philosophy guest

I too miss Lee. I don't watch the philosophy shows now. He was great, really enthusiastic . Does anyone know what happened to him? I bet the philosophy sales have dropped since he left. :mysmilie_499:
 

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