I always said if I was going to be a mum it would only be the one child. I don’t have any children either. I have a number of friends who have no children so I f don’t get the ‘guilt’ aspect with it.
The friends who do have children are going through the proverbial wringer with them at the present. It’s pretty tough at the moment for all of them. Some involves serious aspects and having to have their grandchildren. I am not going into it but my close friend to me that she forgot how hard it was having children. It has put a massive strain on their marriage also.
My friend "hates" her son. She tells me every time she sees me. It's not a roll-her-eyes joke either. It's a lip-curling snarl or defeat if she's been called into the school yet again. Her partner left her soon after the birth and denied being the father. She started dating a few years later and found a wonderful man who fought tooth and nail to adopt him.
However, they have never, ever said the word no to him. The result is a spoilt teen who absolutely knows how to behave (my other friend and I don't take any crap off him so he behaves whenever we've taken him out), but won't. He's smashed iPad after iPad, games console after games console. Threats are made but never followed through. Items are replaced the next day. He'll scream the house down at 3am (fortunately for the neighbour she's deaf) for his parents to get him a snack while he watches telly or games. He also refuses to wipe his own bottom - he's 16! Social services have put a Japanese toilet and a stairlift in for him. I have continence issues and use crutches nd a wheelchair but SS won't put those in for me as I'm over 16.
Neither of them have ever really interacted with him. They've taken him places like Legoland (the husband wanted to go) or Disneyland (my friend wanted to go) and McDonald's is an almost daily meal unless Harvester or a takeaway is on the menu. The child was 14 stone before he was 11. They've sought diagnosis of autism or special needs since he was 6. They even looked for a diagnosis of Prader-Willi for him but he's just a normal kid with lazy parents.
He's 17 soon and wants a car. He'll have one but I'm seriously worried for other road users if he passes. I'm not going to tell her that as I know she knows. Several of the roads within a 20 mile radius have had the speeds lowered to stupid limits (for a normal user) in order to prevent any more deaths - all the deaths have been under 20's, some newly qualified drivers. They've all been caused by doing excessive speeds. I was a teen driver many moons ago. I remember doing over the speed limits and it's sheer luck I didn't kill myself. It's not even a case of passing your test and being the driver as all the accidents have killed friends who were in the car.
We're rural so a car is a necessity. However, I think rules need tightening for young driver to prevent these deaths. Black boxes, curfews, limit people in the car. Whatever it takes. Speed limits don't work for thrill-seeking kids.
I only had one child, C-Lion. I didn't want to be like my mum who was exhausted all the time with not enough to give to each of us. I was lucky as a mistake who arrived well over a decade after the others when my mum had more time and money, but to hear my sisters talk of their childhood and my mum talk of how hard it was with no washing machines and piles of nappies alone was enough to put me off. Thank goodness for the Pill!
TLL - I feel for you. Two of my friends are child-FREE (as one of them says. The other, like you, couldn't have children through various circumstances that just happened. The friend who never wanted children does have a few regrets and wonders about the future but just has a fabulous life instead.
SF - You are so right with your father comment. Two of my nephews have been utter sh!ts as fathers. Donate sperm, leave, claim fatherhood rights down the pub, ignore offspring. Just like my daughter's "father' who also might as well have just been a sperm donor. He made my life miserable as soon as Mr. AE came into it. He wasn't interested in her until his pride as a "dad" was dented by a comment made by one of his friends down the pub.
It beats the cr@p out of me why women have children with these men. So many are men I wouldn't inflict a child on either.
. Caught her on diamonique with Kerry Crawshaw who’s called a jewellery expert. I’ve seen her presenting other non jewellery stuff on QVC not like the other jewellery experts who only present jewellery. She also doesn’t seem to give her jewellery background but I may have missed this. She seems more like generic expert in many things.
. I’m still tempted to message in and ask if you have to buy 2 to get a pair of trousers. Also to ask if coats and jackets button up or if they’re just there for decoration!
