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Eee, ah, by gum. I can remember when t'Christmas were nobbut an old stocking with a tangerine and a threepenny bit in t'bottom. It always snowed, then, like, but we had fresh cardboard to put in our boots to keep the wet out. We used to come home from t'mill Christmas eve and Mam would put us...

And who ever saw the photos as the people they sent them to would be too deeply involved in full time fly photographing themselves to look at others' egotistical messages?

EXACTLY! What is terrifying is that newspapers seem to rely on it. I have attempted sometimes to read serious articles in the Grauniad and elsewhere, only to find that they consist of columns of twatts. Thrown together ungrammatically structured words full of abbreviations mean absolutely...

With a lightbulb as dim as that, the Scene of Crime Officer will never see the clues.

In the spirit of Christmas on QVC which has obviously morphed into summer on Q, may I give you all an alternative suggestion instead of Ultrasun? I go to India frequently, and have been covering myself with sunscreen since AY was a toddler. I did use Ultrasun for some years in my early Q...

There was a comedian years ago on a comedy show broadcast live two days before Christmas. He said "If you're common, put your sprouts on now."

And those of us who post are very glad that you are reading us. Have a lovely Christmas.

I turned on for a festive view, to find the pixie pointing his big hot red tool down the toilet in the demo we have seen hundreds of times before. Like lovingthingsitalian, I am off to the packed carparks of the DHS.

A truly imaginative man would arrange for Daniel Craig to abseil down from a helicopter at dead of night on Christmas eve, to leave it on his wife's pillow.

Don't give QVC any ideas. You know how they like multi tasking gadgets. Next Christmas we will invited to buy for our present drawer an illuminated toilet brush that will wash your bottom afterwards.

Don't tell Stratobuddy. He will give one to his wife for Christmas.

The worst present i ever gave, and I still blush, came from QVC. About fifteen years ago, new to shopping telly and having no idea about jewellery, I bought a gold necklace for about £40, which I thought meant it was good quality, to give to a friend I was about to visit in India. I had no...

Well said.

This is really getting quite ridiculous, descending into personal abuse. "Live in ignorance" is just plain rude. I stuck up for you a few weeks ago, Julius, when someone was being personally rude about your writing abilities, as I would assume that most of us on this forum would like to stick...

Well said. We are not taking up positions on which religion, or none, is best. We are simply commenting that someone was showing off on telly and saying daft things, without engaging brain first.

Whoa! For goodness sake take a chill pill, Julius. This is a shopping forum, and we are entitled to say that we find someone making stupid remarks about Christ rather silly and offensive to people in a country where Christianity is the established religion.Her job was simply to demonstrate...

I would have found it offensive too. We can only be grateful that DF was not born on Christmas day, as she might have taken the suggestion and put it out to her fan club.

(I have just edited myself as i made a joke in very bad taste about Charlie, on an edible theme)

I still enjoy the memories of watching the pelvic floor 'taser' with the demonstrator enthusing about how it gave women wonderful orgasms, and Charlie blushing scarlet and waiting for the floor to open up.

Yes, Hurrah for Amazon as well! By far the best! I am glad you have had good service from IW. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE FROM ME TO.