Peter Simon Stock Phrases - please feel free to add

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“This place is alive.”
“Well done if you got that.”
“This is the best [insert item] we’ve ever brought to air…”
“Bang my back door, kiss me anorak, tickle the ivories.”
*smoker’s cough interlude*
“I’ve had a day of it. I went to see Dr Lobitoff…”
“I’ve got a clearout buy, this is a price to clear! Don’t miss this!”
“Right.”
 
"Go on, treat yourself.... that's exactly why you all tune into Ideal World on Freeview Channel 51......absolute corker of a deal."

"Bob, Jenny, Mungo, Jerry..... Muriel's in......John, Paul, George, Ringo......Well done to you all....what a great buy."
 
We're coming to the busiest part of the show

Not only because

Buy two

Just buy it

Just look at that, isn't it stunning. Have you ever seen anything like it. It's extraordinary.

Buy three

There's several of you online

'ave a buy

3, 2, 1 go. Buy buy buy

WHAT! No..
 
"This watch is worth 1800 pound of anybody's money....wow! the collectors are coming in for it now...they're all over it like a rash...so you're gonna have to be quick if you want to get it."
 
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"This Emu Balm will cure back ache, knee ache, migraines, lumbago, arthritis,.......measles, German measles, acne, vertigo.....malaria, gonorrhoea, polio, heart murmurs, typhoid......cancer, Covid 19, obesity, yellow fever, syphilis, etc..........individual results may vary."
 
Gift Horse said:
"This Emu Balm will cure back ache, knee ache, migraines, lumbago, arthritis,.......measles, German measles, acne, vertigo.....malaria, gonorrhoea, polio, heart murmurs, typhoid......cancer, Covid 19, obesity, yellow fever, syphilis, etc..........individual results may vary."
Click to expand...
If the NHS would only buy Emu Balm from IW, then they could reduce the medical staff salary bill by about three-quarters.:rolleyes:
 
"Good luck if you get it"

"In my nigh-on 40 years of shopping TV I have quite simply never brought a deal to air as good as this"

"For two tenners and a fiver, plus your p&p, you go and a 'av a buy" [told off in ear] "…er, that's the first of 5 flexis"

"We were just saying before we came to air, one could easily expect to pay [ridiculous amount] for [item that never costs that]"

"You're the first in the UK to see it on this world launch …clearance price, there will be no more"

"Well done if you got one at home… What's next, Charlie? Right *cough* we've got Chr—" [VT cuts him off]

"Our Bet swears by this, ok"

"The team and I have spent nearly 2 years trying to get this, so get it while we've got it"
 
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Charley….No…..This HAS to be a mistake..This plastic model urinals was meant to come to air at £459.99…Charley…The PHONE IS GOING TO RING, CHARLEY…No…..In all my 48 years on shopping television I nev… THIS IS…Charley?? No…Charley…Don’t answer the phone…We are going with £9.99….Viduka…Garincha…Napunto…They will banging my back door over this…A PLASTIC BESPOKE REPRESENTATION OF A PUBLIC LAVATORIES BY YOUNG MALE ARTISANS OF THE FEMALE GENDER…for…You MUST put this on your house insurance…Bev??? Eric??? Order me one…I don’t…Right…Okay….
 
"We all thought that these had sold out earlier....which one's in the lead now Charley? Red?......No, Black's in the lead....that's a big surprise because we all thought that Red would be the first to go....this is getting really exciting now....it's a race to the finish....just go and get the one that you want before they both go."
 
Sorry, slightly off topic, but I was watching IW earlier and Peter was doing this terrific 20 in 1 Professional Manicure set (for only a fiver on 4 flexis) that was just about to sell out. And Peter asked Charlie, the floor manager, if Mavis from Weatherfield had got hers yet; he was really worried that she could miss out. But then somebody came to my front door so I missed what Charlie said. Does anyone know what happened? Because the suspense is killing me and I really hope that Mavis got hers while they still had it.
 
Bernie100 said:
Sorry, slightly off topic, but I was watching IW earlier and Peter was doing this terrific 20 in 1 Professional Manicure set (for only a fiver on 4 flexis) that was just about to sell out. And Peter asked Charlie, the floor manager, if Mavis from Weatherfield had got hers yet; he was really worried that she could miss out. But then somebody came to my front door so I missed what Charlie said. Does anyone know what happened? Because the suspense is killing me and I really hope that Mavis got hers while they still had it.
Click to expand...
Didn't see it, unfortunately, but I'd guess that Charlie suddenly discovered another 600,000 manicure sets in the stockroom, so Mavis was encouraged to multibuy without further delay. Mavis is now waiting, with her breath bated, for the manicure sets to be delivered. If you've followed the story so far, you will now know for certain that Mavis is gifting a manicure set to all of her friends, family, the woman next door, the Mayor of Wetherfield and the man in the bicycle shop. She will also put them on her household insurance policy.

Meanwhile, Pete is running around the "studio" (so-called), waving a pair of the nail clippers and screeching "'Av the snip! 'Av the snip!").
 
"These are absolutely flying out....how many left Charley?....25 goes to 24 goes to 23....this is an heirloom piece... you'll hand this....foldable survival shovel.... down to your kids and grandkids."
 
Gift Horse said:
"These are absolutely flying out....how many left Charley?....25 goes to 24 goes to 23....this is an heirloom piece... you'll hand this....foldable survival shovel.... down to your kids and grandkids."
Click to expand...
.:D....and for gawd's sake don't forget to let your household insurers know, (so they can wet themselves laughing).
 

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