Random musings and general banter.

Duke of Cheese said:

I have finally found a new resting place for my wonderful Simon Peters figure that was purchased for me as a gift from hell by my partner as a surprise...I think next to the toilet roll, the bog itself, and in much needed reach of the air freshener, he has found spiritual and emotional sanctuary, in my lavatory. Must also get that flusher button fixed...

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cheeky chappie said:

It was good to see him up this way. tbh we never went to Anstruther much, the small fish & chip shop in Pittenweem was our preference, just a very basic old school place. Alas no longer there, literally! It burnt down and the owner has since passed away

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Lord Helpus said:

If I were unkind I could say she would make a double act all on her own.

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Jazzydrury said:

Erik Ten Hag and Sean Dyche would make good IW Presenters. Sean could have his first show with Sally. You have to read it how Sean Speaks

Shaun, So Sally you say your from Burnley yeah
Sally. Yeah Shaun that’s right
Shaun. Yeah well By how you speak, I think I’ve Spent more time in Burnley than you have, Plus I’ve a Pub named after me

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Muttley said:

I'm a bit concerned actually. Apparently the ship has staff shortages and they've had to hire new people at short notice. The've hired Sally Jacks who is doing her Jane McDonald tribute act in the theatre, doing fashion shows with a woman called Genevive and in poor weather will be the foghorn.

The entertainments manager will be Paul Berk, organising fun activities and keeping morale up with his zany personality and famous 'whoop whoop' catchphrase.

Someone called Mike 'Cockney Geezer' Mason will be presenting his sophisticated Rat Pack tribute show, singing all 3 voices at the same time cos he feels the music unlike us plebs who just hear it. He will also be working in the bar, giving us laydeez a demo of his cocktail making expertise.

The real star will be the 97 year old nearly living legend Peter 'Pedro' Simon. He will be entertaining us about his illustrious career and he many celeb he counts as personal friends. Speaking about his days as agent for Sooty and Sweep, we may hear about the wild showbiz parties where Basil Brush got a bit merry one night on sweet sherry and tried to proposition Emu (that ended badly...). Sadly he can't tell his story about The Clangers as there is still an injunction preventing it from being told.

Apparently they've hired a new catering crew, no details yet but they've bought a job lot of air fryers from a well loved shopping channel. And they assure us that the fire extinguishers work well.

They've got someone called Charlie who will write our 5 star reviews for us, that will save some time. And also a chap called Torchy telling bedtime stories in a boring voice making sure we fall asleep within 10 minutes.

I'm assured that these people are all mega celebs in the UK and that we can have a photo with them for £500.

Actually, I think I'll go to Southend for a week instead!

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Muttley said:

They may give a presentation of the 10,000 things they. bought last month, explaining why the cheapo, unbranded, plastic handbags are better quality than Mulberry.

And I forgot about the 'beauty expert', yes she will also be selling those Opatra machines that will turn me into Taylor Swift overnight

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Battiola73 said:

Didn’t the Berk use to be an entertainment manager on the cruise ships before he went on Selly telly? Or was it Butlins? Hi di Hi

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Lord Helpus said:

That's about his level. He would subtract a touch of class from anything he did.

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Battiola73 said:

Didn’t the Berk use to be an entertainment manager on the cruise ships before he went on Selly telly? Or was it Butlins? Hi di Hi

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Muttley said:

That's funny because I didn't know that. I was trying to assign jobs for them in order to get a laugh but I just thought of entertainment manager for him as I could see him doing that role.

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Muttley said:

That's funny because I didn't know that. I was trying to assign jobs for them in order to get a laugh but I just thought of entertainment manager for him as I could see him doing that role.

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Muttley said:

Well I'm excused from IW viewing as I've been out this evening. And I'm on holiday for a week from Tuesday on a cruise round the Mediterranean but I'll check in here when I can, hopefully my spelling will be OK after copious amounts of exotic cocktails

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Scraping the barrel said:

I have heard that the cruise company actually purchased that ship from Ideal World.
It’s plastic and lights up so must be terrific and has several kayaks as lifeboats!

It cost them £1,000,000 on 100 flexis plus 99p p&p..but not to worry they have 30 days to return it.

Some great people work on those ships,Paul(as has been said),Jane McDonald and let’s not forget the Suffolk Strangler....

Have a wonderful week!

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