Random musings and general banter.

He has come out of his shell and relaxed / got into the swing of bull s ing these days, Jezza looked like he had a severe case of trapped wind for the first few months on air. Could be the long term successor to Pedro !

He certainly has followed the Master’s no interest in the facts philosophy.

The AA batteries - "back by public demand"!!!

Who's demanding them? The 100s who email Beardie O'fthemasons?

Jezza in ecstasy because it's 99p P&P - "everyone's coming in for them".

He must have been given tips in bull by Dirty Peter.

I’ve just emailed Ofthemasons demanding more batteries.. [email protected]

galesgal57 said:

Forty minutes spent on two water bottles. Cheapo fragrances next, and a fan. It will be the last time it goes to air apparently.

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Their statements such as 'last time to air' would have weight if they were a) telling the truth and b) selling quality products that were quite difficult to source elsewhere.

Neither of these is true of IW, so the statements are essentially meaningless.

cheeky chappie said:

Their statements such as 'last time to air' would have weight if they were a) telling the truth and b) selling quality products that were quite difficult to source elsewhere.

Neither of these is true of IW, so the statements are essentially meaningless.

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You regularly hear the meaningless "this could be the last time you see these......at least for some time......Charlie, do you know if we're getting more of these? No, he's not sure".

All made-up tripe to try and create demand

So Jezza had just one Chrisse Duchamp "gold" watch for £799 - although he was trying to get another

Then he said "Megan" was in and "If you're single, I will literally leave my wife for you".

But..........he kept displaying it, kept gushing over it...........then, "I'll give you guys time to buy.......take your time".

Nobody's buying doc, no baskets to check out, nobody on the line..........

A complete pantomime - they're searching the building because "Elizabeth" bought it

Now a silver one which is "definitely" the last one. He prefers it

"I'm not mucking about"
Yes, you are Jezza - in the same way as Pedro and Ofthemasons do.
The lot of you can't shift these Duchumps.

They need to update their Rank Starlets Imaginary Customer Christian Names Database.

Duke of Cheese said:

They need to update their Rank Starlets Imaginary Customer Christian Names Database.

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Yeah, c'mon IW - we're bored of Hammy and Muriel!

Maybe they should buy the name generator all the Chinese junk brands on Amazon use. Chuck in the container with the next lot of neck fans, air fryers, and USB cable.

Infinite possibilities for names when you jumble up letters into incoherent nonsense (and hey, IW is fond of that):

LEVOIT's in for this already, and now VOXXU — you lot are going bonkers for this, I knew you would!
Well done ULTTY, they've gone for the gold, which we're calling plum
XIUREI - we need you to check out now, go to the phones, okay, *cough*

And no, those are all real "brand names" clogging up Amazon with (mostly) same identikit, destined-for-landfill tosh as each other.

Duke of Cheese said:

They need to update their Rank Starlets Imaginary Customer Christian Names Database.

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And we haven't heard from Muriel for a while. Maybe the minimum wage interns in the crew got bored pretending to be an elderly lady.

She disappeared from the forum also. I mean the Gallery staff puppeteer operating her.

Fortunately the Beauty show is sound only this morning.

I can’t stand watching people who present things by waving their arms around every time they say anything at all.The Opatra BA is one of those but Madame Slime looks as if she’s mid way through a step dancing class. All she’s short is a cowboy hat. Vacuum therapy?? Hahahahaha. To slim your arms etc..? Hahahahaha….Fools and their money etc.

She apparently sets ridiculously low prices without any authority to do so, then runs off after the show, switching her phone off. Of course you do, Luv. And I sailed down Niagara Falls on a sixpence.

This magic comb can reverse grey hairs... eh... that's a new one.

Cringey and annoying.

I'm just back from my local convenience store. The conversation with the owner went like this.

Hi, just this please (it was a bar of Dairy Milk)
You're wise to buy it now.
Why's that?
Because it's the last we have in the business.
Oh right.
Not sure when or if we'll get any more loaded into the system.
But you told me before that you go to the cash & carry every week?
(silence from the owner, who looked sheepish)
Have you been taking sales tips from IW again?
(he nods, looking even more sheepish, then said ...)
A tell it like it is me.

Duke of Cheese said:

She apparently sets ridiculously low prices without any authority to do so, then runs off after the show, switching her phone off. Of course you do, Luv. And I sailed down Niagara Falls on a sixpence.

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So it's YOU I read about in the Guinness Book of Records?!?

Mike M said the other night

Right, we have under 30 left in the business!

Do you mean 29? 28? 27? 26? 25? 24? 23? 22? 21? 20? 19? 18? 17? 16? 15? 14? 13? 12? 11? 10? 9? 8? 7? 6? 5? 4? 3? 2? 1?

JUST TELL US THE ACTUAL NUMBER!!!