Women fair game?

[rainbowdottie]

I find men bitch about everyday things.I rarely hear men bitch about each other.

Women bitch about women,because its what they know.Women know about clothes,fashion,hairstyles,make up (as examples) and will readily give their opinion on where another woman has gone wrong.

As another example,I may think I run my home and kids very well,its what I may think I'm good at.I bitch about my SIL as she has no idea,IMHn either of these subjects.My Dh doesn't bitch about her unsuccessful ability to run either aspects,as he doesn't see the things I do and nor does he care.He'd rather bitch about how badly for instance Virgin is run!!

At the end of the day,everyone talks about everyone.Its something I've had to point out to people in the past.If theres 5 people in a room and one leaves....you can guarantee someone will say something about the one thats left.Its life.

As for QVC or anyone in the public eye......well they've put themselves *out there*.They will always attract both positive and negative feedback....as everyone does in their life....theirs is just on a larger scale.


I'm not JR's greatest fan....but I don't dislike her because "shes confident".I don't even agree with the comment that she is confident...in fact I think shes quite insecure.

 

[Catherine]

I also think it is partly because of all the expectations of women. Even when other women know that all these standards and expectations are unfair, we still sometimes use them to criticise people because they are so indoctrinated in us.

But even though a lot of these expectations and criticisms are about appearance, I suspect it is often personality 'issues' that make us see someone as fair game. I mean on QVC for example there are plenty of less than glamorous guests who get positive responses and no comments on weight, hair or whatever, because they come across as unaffected and pleasant. But someone who actually looks above average but seems to have an inflated opinion of themselves and keeps mentioning that people are calling in to ask what she uses to look so good etc might end up getting taken down a bit! Samantha Brick syndrome! Especially in a context where we're getting the hard sell and being annoyed in other ways. Really honestly I don't think any of that makes someone fair game for hurtful comments, but a lot of what is said is tongue in cheek (right? :wink and it is only on the impression we get on TV, the people making the comments might feel differently if they saw someone in the flesh or knew them.

I know I don't really judge people on appearance or make bitchy comments in real life :angel:, but certain people on TV (who maybe we do have misconceptions of, who knows) can bring out that side in people!

ps. I like confident women!

 

[boffy]

the women that get nicer comments directed at them are cathy taylor for example. she is pretty and scrubs up very well but has a more reserved character than say julia. who does like how she looks and is very confident.

also i believe that some women just hate women that are better looking than average and know it..

 

[rainbowdottie]

I actually really like the guest presenter for birkenstock.On the face of it,she could come in for a lot of stick regarding her appearance....but what I see is a thoroughly nice woman who is very good and knowledgeable at her job.

 

[LE lover]

I don't think Julia is very confident i think she's over confident.

 

[boffy]

I don't think Julia is very confident i think she's over confident.

lol you could be right.....

 

[Bauble]

Take someone like Debbie Greenwood for example, ex beauty queen, must have been told all her life how pretty she is etc, still really nice looking woman in her 50s,much more so than JR in my opinion but she doesnt come come across as loving herself with all the conceited manerisms that bug people like hair tossing, cutesy little smiles and posing. It is not being beautiful that makes other women dislike you.

 

[Itchy]

I actually really like the guest presenter for birkenstock.On the face of it,she could come in for a lot of stick regarding her appearance....but what I see is a thoroughly nice woman who is very good and knowledgeable at her job.

I like Nicki too!

The biggest fights I have seen on this forum in nearly two years are concerning QVC presenters. The usual accusation thrown at someone who critises a female presenter, is that they are jealous of them!! No way am I jealous of JF. he he

 

[rainbowdottie]

I think because you say something about someone,its deemed as bitching.I'm quite happy to say how it is to someones face....albeit in a possibly nicer way....so I don't consider myself bitching.I *pass* comment on people,as I'm sure others do to me.

Remember the big fall out Clowdia had after writing on her blog about how shes her mother to thank for her expensive and exquisite taste in jewellery and platinum? I'd tell anybody in my family or social circle,not to be so up themselves,if I heard them say that....it doesn't just apply to QVC presenters!!!

I think the people who are the real bitches are the people who hide behind forums and usernames,who wouldn't ordinarily say boo to a goose but create some sort of say-it-like-it-is-and-deal-with-it persona online.

 

[boffy]

men are appaluded for being over confident but women are not liked for being over confident or even a little confident. its a trait i believe is not liked by other women. claire sutton is very pretty. lovely hair slim etc but does not get very bad press on here. catherine huntley does get negative responses partly because she tries tooooooo hard to please. maybe its how you come across maybe its not looks but sometimes i think it is!

 

[BusyMum]

I think the presenters are fair game for criticism about the presenting skills, their hair, make-up etc...but it's the cruel (imo) comments about their personal appearance that I don't like - big nose, big teeth, sticky out ears - we are as we are and can't help the way we look, be it considered good or bad.

 

[Bauble]

men are appaluded for being over confident but women are not liked for being over confident or even a little confident. its a trait i believe is not liked by other women. claire sutton is very pretty. lovely hair slim etc but does not get very bad press on here. catherine huntley does get negative responses partly because she tries tooooooo hard to please. maybe its how you come across maybe its not looks but sometimes i think it is!

I dont know Boffy, if someone is fun and kind and a good friend I dont care how she looks. Maybe ugly people are jealous of beautiful women? I scrub up well and know Im attractive(but not Helen of Troy material!) and honestly feel no jealousy to women of any age who are prettier than me. I enjoyed being a head turner in my youth-not being big headed but its a fact and now I just think its sad when women cant let it go and realise those days are gone. I dislike being around women who are obsessed with their looks all the time. Its tedious.

 

[janie]

a woman after my own heart Sparkly - I don't like it either, it's not nice, it's not necessary and God only knows what remarks I'd get if I put my mugshot up here!

why oh why does this get brought up? it's been said a million times by the critics, myself included. it's because these people CHOOSE to put themselves on tv. comparing them to ourselves or meeting forumites in person is a totally different thing.

as for the men v women thing, i think it's patently obvious. the women who come in for criticism are vain. the men by and large are not - do you see the male presenters preening and checking the monitor non stop? fishing for compliments all the time? kathy is very popular on here and also very beautiful. why is she not criticised? she's not up herself that's why.

 

[Weathergirl]

why oh why does this get brought up? it's been said a million times by the critics, myself included. it's because these people CHOOSE to put themselves on tv. comparing them to ourselves or meeting forumites in person is a totally different thing.

as for the men v women thing, i think it's patently obvious. the women who come in for criticism are vain. the men by and large are not - do you see the male presenters preening and checking the monitor non stop? fishing for compliments all the time? kathy is very popular on here and also very beautiful. why is she not criticised? she's not up herself that's why.

Sorry, but I don't think Catherine Huntley is "up herself" (or any of the other presenters). I like Kathy Tayler, but can't see what makes her ok when Catherine is not. They both have a similar, calm, sensible, pleasant manner. Catherine may be more insecure about her weight, but Kathy has the experience and confidence that a few extra years brings. They are both attractive and seem like nice people. The difference is that viewers (especially those who are older than Catherine) are more likely to accept Kathy. I think the reasons are obvious, even though they are irrational, unfair and the same reason why women despise those who are younger, prettier, and more succesful than them. And, dammit... she dares to be quite nice too!

No doubt people will disagree with me and say its totally justified to villify a person. Yes, she puts herself out there but since when does a person have to look, weigh, dress, speak a certain way, or else? This is not Hollywood, thank god. That's way too shallow. I admired Hilary Clinton for saying (when asked what designer she was wearing) "if I were a man would you ask me that question". I think women undersell themselves by being obsessed with image, and all things shallow. If they can do their job, selling **** to the masses then that is fine, I don't expect them to be fair game because of it.

Off to file my nails and condition my hair now, after all I am a female and I have a job to do tomorrow...

 

[janie]

here we go with the old 'you're jealous' insinuation again. it is so not that or anything whatever to do with looks or age as bauble has stated much better than i can. good grief, if i only liked people who were older and uglier than me i wouldn't have many friends!

 

[madge65]

We all bitch about other people me included .. todays internet is so different from what it was like 10 years ago, people have to be aware they are accountable for what they post , as i understand it vicious liable postings DO stand up in court , so maybe the way forward & save the heartache of a possible prosecution is to keep it buttoned

Most forums have ' trolls'' simply dont feed them :sun:

 

[janie]

i don't think what we're talking about here is trolls....

 

[BusyMum]

why oh why does this get brought up? it's been said a million times by the critics, myself included. it's because these people CHOOSE to put themselves on tv. comparing them to ourselves or meeting forumites in person is a totally different thing.

as for the men v women thing, i think it's patently obvious. the women who come in for criticism are vain. the men by and large are not - do you see the male presenters preening and checking the monitor non stop? fishing for compliments all the time? kathy is very popular on here and also very beautiful. why is she not criticised? she's not up herself that's why.

sorry Janie, but whether or not a person CHOOSES to put themselves in the public eye, imo it's still cruel to make really personal remarks about their appearance...maybe it's me that's old-fashioned?

 

[madge65]

................

 

[Gemma1]

Women criticise other women. Always have done,always will.