She is actually so insufferable I want to dig out my booboobalas with a rusty butter knife. The last hour was on whilst I was making tea and it went something like this:
Ant: 'We're here with Her Royal Highness Kelly Hoppen who is bringing her exsquisite rnage of bedding and other s**** to us. Now HRH Kelly has some really famous celebrity clients as well as the rich and famous. Your majesty it is so lovely, nay joyous, nay a veritbale thrill on my kidneys to have you with us here...'
KH: 'Yah, thanks a lots, yah. I don't like to talk about my celebrity clients, yah.'
Ant: 'Item number 999 999 the Kelly Hoppen Beige Nightmare Set 999 Thread Count, priced at £4,000,000 for the double. I don't know if the camera can get up close so we can see the opulence of HRH's design...'
KH: 'Oh well done old bean, yah - I hadn't noticed that I'd designed it in that way, yah. Oh, it's such good value - why not buy one for all your family and friends, yah?'
Ant: 'Indeed - and I know it's a considered purchase - but it's such good value when you consider you can go down the market and buy stuff for £20...'
KH: 'Go down the market???? GO DOWN THE MARKET???? THIS IS KELLY HOPPEN DESIGN....OFF WITH YOUR HEAD, INSUBORDINATE...'
Ant: 'I am so very very sorry your Royal Highness. Do excuse that unforgiveable slip of the tongue - please don't send me to the tower please...I'm a good boy I am...'
KH: 'Yah, this is super quality though and I had no idea I'd done this when I didn't design it...'
Ant: 'And this comes in just the one colour Your Royal Kellyness, I can't quite see the monitor from here, what are we actually calling this colour?'
KH: 'We're calling it 'Perfect', yah.'
Ant: 'Jolly good. I think it's actually beige, but never mind...'
KH: 'Yah. These neutrals are so perfect, yah - so perfect. So serviceable...'
Ant: 'And here we have item number 998998 the 'Kelly Hoppen Glass Vase with a few s***** looking plastic flowers in it' priced at £3,000,000 again just another lovely piece and REAL GLASS has been used here, your royal highness...'
KH: 'Yah, it's SUCH good value. Such good value - buy more than one, cos these are such good value. I'm so brilliant...'
Ant: 'Yes you certainly are your royal highness. How we love having you here with your celebrity following and your other things that you do...'
KH: 'Yah, thanks, yah.'
In actual fact some of that dialogue is NOT MADE UP.