Cooeeee Lyn. His Mum has just sent me the wedding invitations.
YOU ARE REGRETTFULLY INVITED
TO THE WEDDING BETWEEN MY PERFECT SON,
THE GEMS PRESENTER
(MUMMY'S SPECIAL SOLDIER)
AND SOME
UPPITY MADAM ON ST.COM
WHOSE NAME ESCAPES ME RIGHT NOW.
THE BIGGEST DISASTER IN MY
FAMILY'S HISTORY WILL TAKE PLACE AT
MIDNIGHT SATURDAY APRIL 1
AND NO DOUBT WILL END IN DIVORCE.
HOPEFULLY IN TIME TO STILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR AN ANNULMENT
DUE TO THE BRIDEGROOM'S LACK OF PERFORMANCE (NOT HIS FAULT OF COURSE).
THE OVERWHELMINGLY DISAPPOINTING HEARTBREAK OF A CEREMONY
WILL BE FOLLOWED BY AN EARLY BREAKFAST, WHERE NUTS WILL BE SERVED
BECAUSE WHATSHERFACE HAS AN ALLERGY.