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There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a great huge, trouble-making
biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life." I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then, you show up and drink the whole thing!

But, enough about me, how's your day going?"
 
This will ring a bell with most of you :)

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🤣🤣🤣🤣

I now have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only it's 45 years late.

I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own place to live. I don't have a curfew, but then I don't go out anyway. I have a driver's license and my own car, but again, I don't go out. The people I know are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great!

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 59 years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

When I was a child, I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is," I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have grey hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise now.

Several years ago, I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet, but I am still thinking about it!

Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age, "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
Brilliant.
 
She has incredible energy, singing and dancing for at least 2 hours.

She is nicknamed Crazy Legs. Her dancing ranges from comical to sexy.

BTW she has lost 5 stones to get to her current weight.

She is a professional entertainer, but started her Sunday shows during lockdown and has continued with them even though she is gigging again.

She is as good as anyone on TV IMO.
 
I would be interested if anyone has seen Sarah Lee on the link above, and what you think.

During the first few songs she is welcoming people in, including me by name (Alan) in about the 3rd song (she mentioned that I had had problems seeing the live performances, now sorted).

I think her banter is hilarious, then she suddenly sings a song perfectly and effortlessly.

She can switch to styles of other singers such as Amy Winehouse or Cher and it is so accurate, and sometimes she wears silly wigs while doing this.

She has kept me entertained on Sundays for about 18 months now during the lockdowns.

BTW she is chatting to her husband Steve via a speaker, he is in another room controlling the lights.
 
I would be interested if anyone has seen Sarah Lee on the link above, and what you think.

During the first few songs she is welcoming people in, including me by name (Alan) in about the 3rd song (she mentioned that I had had problems seeing the live performances, now sorted).

I think her banter is hilarious, then she suddenly sings a song perfectly and effortlessly.

She can switch to styles of other singers such as Amy Winehouse or Cher and it is so accurate, and sometimes she wears silly wigs while doing this.

She has kept me entertained on Sundays for about 18 months now during the lockdowns.

BTW she is chatting to her husband Steve via a speaker, he is in another room controlling the lights.
Uncle Strato has a little crush...........
 

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