Some people seem to hate their kids?!

[merryone]

Ok, this might seem a little bit judgemental, but going by the "snapshot" I saw of this family on the bus yesterday - I think I make fair comment. On the bus returning from a day out yesterday, and the bus stopped on the seafront at Worthing. I was sat upstairs at the back of the bus, other than me there was no one else but a chap with a pair of headphones in. Anyway, a couple of kids bounded up the stairs..two boys who'd I say were about 6 and 3 or 4 in age, followed by a young lady who looked no more than 18, and two other ladies in their thirties. Kids sat down in the front seat, the young lady, in the front on the opposite side, behind her sat one of the other, then the other one behind the kids, back to window feet on seats, and got straight on her mobile phone. One of the kids pointed out of the window, and said "Mummy those rides aren't closed, there's someone on them"...Mum (the young girl) replied angrily "Arrogant, that's wot you are"...thought that was a strange thing to say..but nevertheless. The three adults spent most of the journey, looking at their phones and occasionally chatting to one another, and looking at their clothing purchases. Two kids in the meantime were sitting in the front as good as gold. Then one of the kids turned around and said "Nanny, can we have some sweets when we get to your house?"...."No, you fu*%ing can't" was the reply!...."Oh please Nanny" - Voice raised..."I said NO AWIGHT?!" Older kid replied...aw, that's not fair...."Stop 'aving a paddy Ryan, I've just about 'ad enuff....You're doin' my fu*%ing nut!". Then mummy chipped in...Yeah on Monday, I'm gunna tell yer teacher wot a f-ing little **** you are".....unbelievable! The lady with her feet on the seat got off the bus.."see ya later, she said to the women, ignoring the kids completely". The journey carried on uneventfully thankfullly, wherin the two women mostly stared at their phones, occasionally grunting at one another, not speaking a word to either of the kids. When they got off, I could see the nan holding the shopping bags...all ladies clothing, oh and a massive packet of bog rolls whilst the mum stuck a fag in her gob whilst she shook the younger kid's buggy open..made sure she'd lit up, before she attempted to shove the little 'un in it...and off they went on their merry way! Charming!

God, I'd have loved to have said something, but to be honest - a thick lip and a black eye wouldn't look so great in my workplace...but you seriously wonder why people have kids when they clearly can't be bothered with them! Miraculously I didn't hear the kids swearing, in fact from what I could see they were pretty well behaved - It's a worry and I can't stop thinking about this. You wonder if people treat, and speak to their kids like that in public, I dread to think what happens behind closed doors!

 

[iloveshopping]

Having children is very stressful for some people. My father was fine but once there were 2 of us and we were 4 and 5 he could not handle it and shouted all the time and he was at work most of the time. His trouble was that he was very controlling and it was a continual battle for him. My mother died when I was 7 and he went on to marry a woman with 4 children. You can imagine that didn't make anyone very happy. Once you have made your choices you are stuck. Poor children poor parents.

 

[wee quine]

Totally agree. Why adults are more interested in their phones than their children is beyond me.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I used to work for a children's charity, but couldn't handle the stress, because I would get so upset by how some adults are capable of treating children, even their own. I hate to see children's role models talking in such aggressive language to the little sponges who are soaking up the "normal and acceptable" behaviour. If some emerge as decent human beings it is despite the upbringing they experience. It is a shame, but not everyone has the emotional, mental or material resources to provide a good upbringing... And most won't realise until it's too late that they're not cut out for parenting. Many won't even have the support of extended family to help them out either.

It may be that much went on with the family group before that bus ride to provoke the language and response you heard... And the kids could have been little imps. I remember reducing my gran to tears on several occasions, and causing both parents to blow their tops.

The saddest thing is the total lack of engagement, though. You phone will be there today and tomorrow. Nothing on it will be urgent.. Urgent means it will ring!!! The kids are learning and growing, and absorbing appropriate behaviours, language, parenting styles and more. Those opportunities are so important to start children on god paths for their future success and happiness in life.

 

[mediastar]

One of the reasons I decided, at age 7, I wasn't going to get married/become a parent was that I realised I was not cut out for it and as I grew older it became clear to me that it was the right decision for me. About as much as I can cope with is being owned by a cat, or myself.

 

[merryone]

I think the difference nowadays is, that back in the past, if a kid was playing up, they'd get a good old fashioned clip round the ear, or smacked bottom! Can't generalise of course, but for me, if I was being really naughty or defiant that's what I'd get...and that would be the end of it...I'd whimper for a bit, be good, and all would be forgotten, and I'm sure this sort of scenario was the case for a lot of us on here. But now a slap around the back of the legs, or a quick clip round the ear, is seen as assault, so now in order to get one's child to behave, the parent often has to lose their rag and I guess swearing and cursing will come into play. I appreciate that it's difficult when you've got kids, i've been there myself, thankfully I had no trouble from mine at all...I was a little sod! But anyway, despite what those kiddies had done, it was still horrible hearing the way they were being spoken to and witnessing the way the parents were showing zero interest in them, and from what I saw they were being incredibly well behaved!

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

It's far too easy for people to have children. Some are so dysfunctional they shouldn't be in charge of a shopping trolley never mind kids.

I wonder if there weren't benefits would they learn to stop churning them out?

It's the poor children I feel sorry for, no male role model (or worse a different one every month with mum up the plum duff with each one), no female role model and now even no grandparent role model when granny is only 34 herself and constantly out on the pull.

 

[merryone]

I was thinking today, that my nan wouldn't have even known those words, let alone use them against a kid! My mum used to swear occasionally but never at somebody else, especially not a kid, however badly they were behaving....she'd let out the odd "bugger" if she dropped something on the floor and then apologise profusely for her language!