Random musings and general banter.

[cheeky chappie]

I don't drive but if I did I would have a range of items in the boot that could be needed in an emergency. It's just common sense.

I don't want to think about the groundsheet

I keep a blow-up doll in my boot in case I get stranded somewhere in my car overnight and get lonely ...

 

[HughTwo]

Janice flogging a mattress topper and claiming he had chronically inflamed knees.
Using a blow up doll on a groundsheet would do that!

Surely he could just take Pedro's famous collagen and a dollop of Emu Balm.

 

[Niwa]

Torchy now with the stepper thing.
Several times now he's made reference to cervical fluid in his joints.
He should have said synovial fluid.
Cervical fluid is normally related to 'lady parts' for want of a better expression.
Or maybe you had an aunt with that name?

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Where has Jacks gone?

 

[Hammy60]

Where has Jacks gone?

She's had the mother of all chest infections, she texted Janice's show last night to say how wonderful his show was, Janice says poor Sally she's lost her voice for two weeks, hmm sounded okay with her Burnley snow update a week ago.

I believe she's now taking time off to write an article for the Lancet detailing fully her unique experience with and how with grit, determination & bountiful supply of Numii collagen she overcame the dreaded selly telly chest infection.

 

[Battiola73]

I’d taken a break from watching IW after seeing Moronic Mike “doing” ladies fashion. He’s got even worse lately and that dreadful, dirty, unkempt beard looks as IW should call in Environmental Health or the Rat Man as they were called in the past.

The only presenter/guest who has a modicum of integrity is Alex Knowles.

 

[Battiola73]

She's had the mother of all chest infections, she texted Janice's show last night to say how wonderful his show was, Janice says poor Sally she's lost her voice for two weeks, hmm sounded okay with her Burnley snow update a week ago.

I believe she's now taking time off to write an article for the Lancet detailing fully her unique experience with and how with grit, determination & bountiful supply of Numii collagen she overcame the dreaded selly telly chest infection.

I don’t wish anyone to be ill but this seems like Karma. After all the claims she spouts about the benefits of the different snake oils she flogs, obviously don’t work.

 

[Hammy60]

Janice was on late last night with a Duchump Grand Mont Ceramic, started with ONLY 1 in stock, they've still got 1 in stock so was a highly successful and profitable 30 minute segment.

Anyway here's a take on some of his bullsh*t

Janice on what makes this watch so special & sensational and worthy of retailing at £2000.

Janice – “Ceramic bezel”

And you’re point is?

Janice –“You have the deployment clasp”

Even cheap watches have a deployment clasp.

Janice – “It’s has a Swiss Made Ronda Z60 movement”

So what, Ronda make good movements, but don’t kid yourself they are all high quality expensive movements, the Z60 comes in at £20 retail (wholesale will be cheaper), so that movement isn’t a factor in the 2 grand price.

Janice – “weight wise, you’re looking at 165g”

Strangely Duchumps web site says 142g, but anyway weight has sod all to do with quality and is not in any way a justification for the £2000 retail price tag.

Janice – “It’s 20 atmospheric pressures, which is actual considered a Professional Diving watch.”

Bullsh*t, while being 200 mtrs rated it can survive diving depths, having a tachymeter bezel and a non-lumed second hand rules it out as qualifying as a professional divers watch. It’s a sports watch designed for measuring speed/distance not for diving.

Janice – “that alluring black stainless steel strap”

Sod all to do with the price of cheese, certainly not a 2 grand lump of cheese.

Janice – “But what make this so special, it is the movement, it is the feel, it is the quality & calibre you get with Christophe Duchamp. Everything about this screams a watch that should be into the thousands.”

Nothing, and I mean nothing you’ve said has given any credence to your claim that this watch is special and worthy of 2 grand.

Janice – “I do not want you to look at our price and feel it’s reflective of the watch on my wrist.”

First thing I agree with, the IW price of £599.99 is not reflective of that watch, the price is too high.

Janice – “you’re saving £1600 as against buying from Christophe Duchamp”

Yeah, but only if you’re brain dead and stupid enough to be considering buying from the CD web site.

Janice – “the only reason we have this price is because of our special relationship with Christophe Duchamp.”

No, the reason you’ve got that price is the RRP has been deliberately overpriced to infer the watches are greater quality/value than they are actually worth. You’re price is only reflective of being closer to their true value, although still overpriced.

Janice – “This is a luxury watch brand”

Utter baloney, you’ve given absolutely no justification and zero evidence for making that statement/claim. The only evidence you have is a highly over-inflated RRP on a web site, you know nothing about the brand, you know nothing about the actual watchmakers who makes the watches for Duchamp, heck you don't know in which country half their watch ranges are made, etc, etc, to put it mildly you're horologically challenged.

Janice –“this is a legacy timepiece; this is that heirloom watch, it’s a watch that is going to pass down through the generations, it is a legacy watch, a watch that you will have for the rest of your life.”

Another bold claim, with no evidence that this inexpensive quartz movement will still be working in 20, 50 or a 100 years’ time. Of course you can pass it down through generations, but is more likely to being used as a paperweight than a timepiece.

Heck I had to replace a Ronda 1009 movement, in a £350 watch from an actual Swiss Brand, the 1009 is approx 3 times the price of the Z60, the 1009 was f***** after only 5 years, f***** only lasted one battery change. Heirloom pieces my arse.

Okay bored at this point and that was only 5 minutes into the segment.

 

[historymystery]

Why in the name of all that's holy do they spend so long on an item of which they claim(???) there are only one or two in stock? Pete did this the other night with the WhatA Chump watches. Big build-up first of all, all about putting these in before the next hour, so popular, etc. etc. He reckoned there were only two left, read out a list of people (Jack T. Ripper, Joe King, Anne Teak, Willie Catchit, etc. etc.) and rambled on and on. Well, if they were (a) so popular, (b) they were sneaked in because of demand and (c) there was a list of people coming in to buy, why on earth would he need to ramble on for 15 minutes? Wouldn't they be on - and gone? And after all that, did they sell? Er, probably not, and were returned to the collection of 50,000 others.

 

[Samki]

Motor mouth Joanne with her fossil rocks saying this creature has been fossilised for us to enjoy, err no

 

[PhædrusR]

Review on IW site for a Duchamp Grand Mont ceramic, £799, black was on earlier for £599, both overpriced:

"Ive just recently bought another watch for my collection this last purchace would be my 40th from ideal world i have been collecting for several years but this last purchace is a christoph duchamp watch and i reckon this could be favourite so far its looks elegant and smart well pleased regards"

If real, there's always someone who buys the hype.

 

[Tricompax]

Janice was on late last night with a Duchump Grand Mont Ceramic, started with ONLY 1 in stock, they've still got 1 in stock so was a highly successful and profitable 30 minute segment.

Anyway here's a take on some of his bullsh*t

Janice on what makes this watch so special & sensational and worthy of retailing at £2000.

Janice – “Ceramic bezel”

And you’re point is?

Janice –“You have the deployment clasp”

Even cheap watches have a deployment clasp.

Janice – “It’s has a Swiss Made Ronda Z60 movement”

So what, Ronda make good movements, but don’t kid yourself they are all high quality expensive movements, the Z60 comes in at £20 retail (wholesale will be cheaper), so that movement isn’t a factor in the 2 grand price.

Janice – “weight wise, you’re looking at 165g”

Strangely Duchumps web site says 142g, but anyway weight has sod all to do with quality and is not in any way a justification for the £2000 retail price tag.

Janice – “It’s 20 atmospheric pressures, which is actual considered a Professional Diving watch.”

Bullsh*t, while being 200 mtrs rated it can survive diving depths, having a tachymeter bezel and a non-lumed second hand rules it out as qualifying as a professional divers watch. It’s a sports watch designed for measuring speed/distance not for diving.

Janice – “that alluring black stainless steel strap”

Sod all to do with the price of cheese, certainly not a 2 grand lump of cheese.

Janice – “But what make this so special, it is the movement, it is the feel, it is the quality & calibre you get with Christophe Duchamp. Everything about this screams a watch that should be into the thousands.”

Nothing, and I mean nothing you’ve said has given any credence to your claim that this watch is special and worthy of 2 grand.

Janice – “I do not want you to look at our price and feel it’s reflective of the watch on my wrist.”

First thing I agree with, the IW price of £599.99 is not reflective of that watch, the price is too high.

Janice – “you’re saving £1600 as against buying from Christophe Duchamp”

Yeah, but only if you’re brain dead and stupid enough to be considering buying from the CD web site.

Janice – “the only reason we have this price is because of our special relationship with Christophe Duchamp.”

No, the reason you’ve got that price is the RRP has been deliberately overpriced to infer the watches are greater quality/value than they are actually worth. You’re price is only reflective of being closer to their true value, although still overpriced.

Janice – “This is a luxury watch brand”

Utter baloney, you’ve given absolutely no justification and zero evidence for making that statement/claim. The only evidence you have is a highly over-inflated RRP on a web site, you know nothing about the brand, you know nothing about the actual watchmakers who makes the watches for Duchamp, heck you don't know in which country half their watch ranges are made, etc, etc, to put it mildly you're horologically challenged.

Janice –“this is a legacy timepiece; this is that heirloom watch, it’s a watch that is going to pass down through the generations, it is a legacy watch, a watch that you will have for the rest of your life.”

Another bold claim, with no evidence that this inexpensive quartz movement will still be working in 20, 50 or a 100 years’ time. Of course you can pass it down through generations, but is more likely to being used as a paperweight than a timepiece.

Heck I had to replace a Ronda 1009 movement, in a £350 watch from an actual Swiss Brand, the 1009 is approx 3 times the price of the Z60, the 1009 was f***** after only 5 years, f***** only lasted one battery change. Heirloom pieces my arse.

Okay bored at this point and that was only 5 minutes into the segment.

Excellent analytical write up of his presentationBUT he would not lie to us Thanks, always enjoy your horological posts

 

[Muttley]

Heard him say the other night he worked for Bid anybody remember him, I never really watched Bid

Yes Jazzy, I remember him well on Bid. He was less incoherent than he is today (he could at least string a sentence together) although plenty of meaningless drivel, 'not only' etc. All that is the same.

Bid TV also had a young Cockney Geezer wideboy called Mike Mason and Sally Jacks bringing us 'delightful' fashion items (that she wouldn't be dead in).

Totally different to IW. Although they haven't sold Worry Angels on IW (yet). The expensive glass ornaments you could tell your troubles to and you would feel better. There's a clip on YouTube of Ofthemasons saying "people say we're taking advantage of the vulnerable, I get very angry at that". Yeah, angry that people were calling out your outrageous behaviour!

 

[Muttley]

Just put 14 of these steppers in my basket but not sold out yet

The steppers are back...