Random musings and general banter.

[Jazzydrury]

There must be a reason you get 40% off if you buy both

 

[Gooner1963]

£1000 of inspired fragrances for £20 of tom cat **** would moronic mason give it to the goddess

 

[Jazzydrury]

Gut Wealth now

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Damp boxes, how original.

Sounds like a Peter Simon cricket reaction facing pace bowling.

 

[Jazzydrury]

It’s now Mikes Fashion show

 

[Jazzydrury]

Men don’t do many fashion shows as we leave it to the experts says Mike.

Then mentions Sally and Gen

 

[Tellyfreak]

I can't quite see how the 'powers that be' are allowing Dirty Peter on IW. Let's not get off on the wrong stance though, Ideal World has long long long ago stopped being an 'ok' shopping channel, back in the day when they had more than 6 ranges I mean. Yes non-believers, IW did used to stock about 5 ranges of jewellery, that's 5 RANGES, not 5 colours of ring They too used to have a fair few beauty ranges, and some other things which aren't Karcher, Wagner, Drill All, or Tower
Lately though, IW has become just the bog standard same few products we could all name if pressed; just rotated between Pick Of The Day, Blockbuster and fill-in other hour. I honestly don't see why they have paid the staff the last 2 years or more, surely just repeat the same one hour presentation, with least annoying member of staff and change the graphics? The treat viewers like we have brains made of potato anyway, so I'm thinking they could assume we wouldn't notice.
But now? Dirty Peter, who even makes Paul Brodel seem more Sidney Poitier than Sid James (as he usually comes accross) and poor Joe was noticeably cringing when he was presenting with him. Joe even had to point out that Peter had only once in 55 minutes said "Flexi-pay" correctly whilst laughing at him Peter can't even string a sentence together, its almost sad to watch. Meanwhile Mikey Barra-boi couldn't be more patronising if he tried, and Paul Beqcue and Gen seem to be in a perpetual shouting competition.
The channel, whilst I honestly thought had hit the very bottom, has sunk to new lows, the only plus being it's humorous and this splendid thread, much missed from the Bid forums, is back, with its many splendid contributors.
I shall, for one, be even more glued to IW now, for the comedy gold genuis of Dirty Peter, (who added a 'not only' in a written on screen quote of Thomas Kinkade last night ) and the many many failings of the channel.
Thank you to the contributors of this thread, who will, no doubt have me spitting tea at the monitor as I LOL

Who in the name of hell thought Mike Mason could do a fashion show he knows nothing about ladies clothes , just mouthing off all the time about himself feel sorry for Sharon modelling the clothes because she looks totally embsrassef to be on with the prat !!! .

 

[Jazzydrury]

Who in the name of hell thought Mike Mason could do a fashion show he knows nothing about ladies clothes , just mouthing off all the time about himself feel sorry for Sharon modelling the clothes because she looks totally embsrassef to be on with the prat !!! .

Got a feeling it was a case of nobody else

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Right girls, hang on to yer lils, it’s Monsieur Teasey-Weasy Masonnoni, yer fashion (Turn to the left) guru for today. Fashion (Turn to the right)…I knows what yer finkin’ but I feels it, girls. I feels Fashion (We are the Goon Squad and we’re coming to tarne). I don’t just sees it. I am it, girls..Women want me…Your beautiful bald fella wiv a selection of dress/awnings and skirt/car covers…Talkin’ of mechanical transport, ladies. Have I told yers when I broke dahrn on a British bicycle in Germany in 1938? Bleedin’ Nuremberg Raleighs…’Ere, Sharon, show em’ yer bum in that dress that doubles up as a mattress protector…An incontinental quilt, girls…

 

[HughTwo]

I tune in to see a giggling Of-the-Masons pointing to a screen behind him that said "MIKES FASHION SHOW".

Of course, the kids in the gallery don't know about the use of an apostrophe. Is it Mike's? or is there more than one Mike, requiring MIKES'?
I'm sure they don't car - professionalism isn't in the vocabulary.

And what is it with Market-Stall Mike saying "congratulations to each and every one of you".
It should be commiserations for being persuaded to by that tat.
Anyone leave a shop and get congratulated by some bearded spiv at the door?

 

[Jazzydrury]

Trevor has jumped in

 

[Duke of Cheese]

The Thames, hopefully.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

There he is…Rasputin after a rough night with some rifled charity bags.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Sharon how does that feel? Er a cheap piece of ****, Mike…Er…Wonderful, Mike. Yeah…Right Answer, Darling. £600 pahrned elsewhere, that is…West End of London you’d pay five to six hundred sovs…Where? In a charity shop in Oxford Street? Check the Price, Goolio…Same old nonsense..

 

[Jazzydrury]

Sharon how does that feel? Er a cheap piece of ****, Mike…Er…Wonderful, Mike. Yeah…Right Answer, Darling. £600 pahrned elsewhere, that is…West End of London you’d pay five to six hundred sovs…Where? In a charity shop in Oxford Street? Check the Price, Goolio…Same old nonsense..

Duke why are you watching fashion

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Critical appraisal purposes. It’s also good for a few gags.

 

[Muttley]

I tune in to see a giggling Of-the-Masons pointing to a screen behind him that said "MIKES FASHION SHOW".

Of course, the kids in the gallery don't know about the use of an apostrophe. Is it Mike's? or is there more than one Mike, requiring MIKES'?
I'm sure they don't car - professionalism isn't in the vocabulary.

And what is it with Market-Stall Mike saying "congratulations to each and every one of you".
It should be commiserations for being persuaded to by that tat.
Anyone leave a shop and get congratulated by some bearded spiv at the door?

They think Apostrophe is a Greek island

 

[HughTwo]

Wonder if he used to work Petticoat Lane?

"Roll up girls, I'll show you me knickers later......if you're lucky.
"Now, now missus, you're safe as 'ouses with Michael......me beard's filthy but I'm only ere to give you one.....a bargain luv.
"Ok, these will fly, and I mean fly, who wants one......of these coats.....bigger than they look....a bit like yours truly.
"Come on.......not 50 quid, not 40 quid, not 35, yes for today, and today only......we're going under 30......25 nicker to you........two tenners and blue one. but don't tell the boss.......

 

[Scraping the barrel]

Trevor has jumped in

The Thames, hopefully.

Proof right here!

 

[Duke of Cheese]

I don’t think he came over as very happy when somebody texting in him called him Mark. This of course from the man who doesn’t worry about anything anybody says about him. But ego promptly intervenes when somebody gets his name wrong. That said, probably somebody in the Gallery writing them all, having a joke.