Random musings and general banter.

[Samki]

Or you could shove it up his bell end! Get ready for the disapproval.

I’m shocked , not really

 

[Duke of Cheese]

If he really is a talented singer, he quite clearly disguises the fact on-air for reasons best known to himself.

Same seedy watch selling tictocs again.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

He says there is something grubby on the back of the watch he is showing to camera. A hand, possibly?

Hammy from Aberdeen texts in praising the watch. What a sad bunch of disreputable f…wits they are. This is the reality, Captain K.

 

[exmothian]

£343. 49 on the Duchump sight.

 

[OutOut]

£343. 49 on the Duchump sight.
View attachment 31222

Must be a glitch. As Mason has said multiple times, the only reason he can bring us these prices on the Duchamps is because the word of mouth is worth more to them than the money.

Unless he's fibbing.

 

[Hammy60]

At the start, we had this once before last year, sold out immediately, watch them sell out before your eyes.

A while later, buyers flooding in.

Even later, more buyers jumping in.

Strap line added to graphics "stock going fast"

Even much later, more buyers coming in.

Strap line added to graphics "Limited Stock"

At the end, more buyers buying.


Well still waiting for them selling out before my eyes, despite the kiddies trying to use me to encourage sales.

 

[exmothian]

£305.24 for the Skeleton.Big difference to IW at £579.99

 

[OutOut]

If he really is a talented singer, he quite clearly disguises the fact on-air for reasons best known to himself.

Same seedy watch selling tictocs again.

You just know he acts a complete pratt when he's out on social outings and his wife is mortified.

 

[cheeky chappie]

One of my Dad's sayings was 'liars need to have good memories" and that's so true. Pete seems to assume that the viewers have no memories at all - they are suffering from collective amnesia - and the same assumption applies to Gemporia presenters, they bleat on and on about their regular customers, but does it not occur to them that if they have regular customers, the customers will have heard different versions/contradictory statements in the analogies they spin? It must be due to that well-known selly telly presenter condition (which is incurable) called Pinocchio syndrome.

At this rate, he'll soon be saying

And I should know, I've been involved in television for 70 years and shopping tv 60!

I'm not even saying that as a joke. He's the epitome of opening the gob and letting any old guff come out.

 

[Bernie100]

At the start, we had this once before last year, sold out immediately, watch them sell out before your eyes.

A while later, buyers flooding in.

Even later, more buyers Well still waiting for them selling out before my eyes,

I've just put 15 of each colour of the DuChumps in my shopping basket. Hopefully that'll go some way to them finally selling out.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Fantastic Gym Group 85 Extravaganza this evening…

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Oh dear. Mason has abducted the entire forum - just before nine o’clock, last night.

 

[Muttley]

Oh dear. Mason has abducted the entire forum - just before nine o’clock, last night.

No, I'm safe Duke. I was worried that I would get over excited watching the great man so I watched something else.

Mike, when you read this, that was sarcasm you scruffy numpty.

 

[Hammy60]

No, I'm safe Duke. I was worried that I would get over excited watching the great man so I watched something else.

Mike, when you read this, that was sarcasm you scruffy numpty.

Plus he was followed by her that triggers the automatic shutdown button on my TV, Joanne "i don't have time to breath, i've too much verbal diarrhea to spout" Vandermerwe........

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Knowles…We are in serious crisis… Varnish Colour Sergeant Simon and Bugler Boy Mason led an unauthorised attack on the Enemy Forum last night at 20:50 hours. Their Commander, General Hammy, was abducted, his plastic pace cane removed, and then forced under interrogation to admit to enjoying confusingly priced military timepieces..Sergeant Muttley was also removed from Forum Base Camp, along with many others, under threat of being badly shot by a medieval dash camera…Only General Hammy and Sergeant Muttley have returned…Knowles, this military selling tactic was completely unacceptable, and I hold you personally responsible for this. We as a Retail Regiment are bound by the Peterborough Convention to give the enemy safe quarter upon surrender and not to compel them into false statements to be broadcast over No Viewers Land…Knowles remove your cuddle blanket and break it over your knee. Remove your juicer pips…You are demoted to the rank of graveyard shift presenter. Condemned to work with Captain Vandermerwe-Mahon until stood down..Get out, Knowles…

 

[Francy19]

Watched Moronic Mike and Peter Vol-au-vent last night with the Spear and Jackson air purifier. Two things, found it cheaper with a quick google search for £45.00 plus delivery, and always thought Spear and Jackson were known for garden tools not electric home products. If I needed an air purifier think would look at Dyson

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Rather like having a Hoover television or a Heinz exercise bike.

 

[Muttley]

Knowles…We are in serious crisis… Varnish Colour Sergeant Simon and Bugler Boy Mason led an unauthorised attack on the Enemy Forum last night at 20:50 hours. Their Commander, General Hammy, was abducted, his plastic pace cane removed, and then forced under interrogation to admit to enjoying confusingly priced military timepieces..Sergeant Muttley was also removed from Forum Base Camp, along with many others, under threat of being badly shot by a medieval dash camera…Only General Hammy and Sergeant Muttley have returned…Knowles, this military selling tactic was completely unacceptable, and I hold you personally responsible for this. We as a Retail Regiment are bound by the Peterborough Convention to give the enemy safe quarter upon surrender and not to compel them into false statements to be broadcast over No Viewers Land…Knowles remove your cuddle blanket and break it over your knee. Remove your juicer pips…You are demoted to the rank of graveyard shift presenter. Condemned to work with Captain Vandermerwe-Mahon until stood down..Get out, Knowles…

Yes, I returned safely from the horrors of being captured and forced to listen to Drummer Boy Mason's rendition of I'm Too Sexy. Clearly an act of torture which is banned.

I survived because I simply put in my non IW extra strength noise cancelling ear plugs and hit him with my IW cane. I admit that wasn't effective because it was useless but it was enough for him to burst into tears threatening to send The Goddess round to deal with me. I then launched into a rendition of Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much which sent him scuttling away in fear. Job done.

I then managed to escape. I'm safe and none the worse for my ordeal. If I'm needed I am prepared to go back behind enemy lines and rescue any forumites who failed to return.