It got even worse later, with a deflated couldn’t be ars…bothered Stan Butler surrounded by packs of three even Tesco would struggle to give away. So low was his motivation to sell the unsellable, he couldn’t even pretend to pretend to like Pot Noodle Gift Sets to the insanely annoying pillow flogger man, with wrongly located eyeballs, and more children than King Herod, who was simpering away about how marvellous Not Poodles (but tastes like them) gift sets are. So down was Stan, he couldn’t even sound like a foghorn gone wrong that wants covering in phosphorus as a matter of urgency, warning us of low stock levels, and the ability to fantasise about him being hung drawn and quartered to prevent him ever making that sound again.
Buy Three Get One Free, in this case rhyming in an elongated sense with Buy None I’d Rather Have My Balls Set On Fire In The Public Lavatory…If I came across those items at a car boot sale at 6:30 in the morning, I would expect to see them still there at 12:30 in the afternoon so grim were they. Where they got them from, God only knows.