Random musings and general banter.

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The Duke of Cheese said:
The shammy man is on with his tried and tested Wheeltappers and Shunters type rapport...His girlfriend this. His girlfriend that..His mate Gary who comes round for vodka and cokes and spills the third treble one all over where Spot the puppy has urinated over.. Or was that the other way round? Now it is how he always spills his coffee over the mother in law in the car at McDonald’s, and Rover (the dog, not the car) urinating even bigger puddles of it than Gary, the vodka swigging neighbour from hell. The monotone delivery doesn’t help his gags that are more stale than a loaf of mouldy Nimble found in a balloon. Buy one get free, he drones on. Or is that buy one get another one built into the profit margins of the first one? Perhaps Gary knows if he is still vertical? I would happily serve him shammy and chips and make sure he eats every corner…
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You don't see many references to the Wheeltappers and Shunters social club these days, or even Nimble bread and the balloon in the advert! All together now "She flies like a bird in the sky..." Your posts make me feel old but they're very funny so I forgive you ..
 
Good Evening. My name is Den aged 87. Good Evening. Actually, my name is Shaun, and I just walked out to my car and discovered it had turned into an igloo. And with temperatures predicted to be down to -50 in the Cockermouth vicinity this Wednesday, I want to remind you how unpleasant it is to have frozen testicles and other key bits. Think of your grannies..

Marvellous. A wonderful 45 minutes of scaremongering on a Tuesday evening…Oh Gawd…here he is..that Irish/Dutch bloke with his thermometer..
 
Do you reckon he has sold a single one?

“Tell him what you want him to do,”says Keep Kissing Your Goddesses. Er..right..pick up the dog poo..make the bed…go to Tesco and get the shopping. Er..he doesn’t do that..Get stuffed, then. Because for £999, he bloody well should do.
 
I see it's the return of the good old drum watch tonight this time by Stauer.
Why leave the numerical face on though buy still £100 overpriced.

1670359840320.png
 
postmanpat68 said:
I see it's the return of the good old drum watch tonight this time by Stauer.
Why leave the numerical face on though buy still £100 overpriced.

View attachment 24947
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I bet there will be a lot of IW watch collectors who will actually think those numerals have a function in the timekeeping, it'll only be when they get it home and realise that the numbers are only there for show to fill up the empty dial face and have sod all to do with reading the time. :ROFLMAO:
 
It doesn’t have any functions, said yet another collator’s photo fit looking watch non-expert in a Hepworths suit from the local job centre. It doesn’t have any functions, but I think that’s what sells it, he drones on in a sea of incredibility. Two decades of experience, gushes Ryan. My elderly and dear departed sausage dog had nearly two decades of experience. Two decades of urinating on my carpets. Stauer, occasionally, grudgingly let us have some watches, he elaborates simperingly inaccurately. Do you think I sailed down the Thames on a sixpence, Pal?? Don‘t call me a tin of dog food..
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
In desperate conflict with myself…Can I afford to part with £999 for a plastic robot that converts into itself from an Iceland lorry. No!! I can’t!!!

Down to single figures stock, warns Upside Down Head. The same single figures stock you had left from the last airing, possibly?
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Only IW could sell cheap plastic tat toys over previous years when times were (hopefully) easier for most financially, then the very year we enter recession and a cost of living crisis, they flog a glorified wind up toy that costs a GRAND!!!

Ha Ha HAaaaaaaaaa ...
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
It doesn’t have any functions, said yet another collator’s photo fit looking watch non-expert in a Hepworths suit from the local job centre. It doesn’t have any functions, but I think that’s what sells it, he drones on in a sea of incredibility. Two decades of experience, gushes Ryan. My elderly and dear departed sausage dog had nearly two decades of experience. Two decades of urinating on my carpets. Stauer, occasionally, grudgingly let us have some watches, he elaborates simperingly inaccurately. Do you think I sailed down the Thames on a sixpence, Pal?? Don‘t call me a tin of dog food..
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Every time I buy a t shirt mail order from Atlas, and I buy some cheapo t shirts, it comes with a Stauer catalogue- they are pile ’em high and sell ‘em cheap merchants. Heir to Zeitner and Klaus Kobek. In fact, does anyone know whether they are associated with papa Fields?
 
The head with the upside down man is misfiring on all cylinders in the cheap watches…er..inexpensive pieces of time extravaganza. He has a woman horological specialist with no face with him who appears to be more interested in buying him a replacement Snoopy watch and singing old pop songs that will get them a PRS bill than actually teaching us anything about the mechanics of parsley..thyme.. Oh goody gumdrops, here comes the £2000000 watch winder for 50p.. Now we go back to 2010 and move on to USB turntables. The other head with the upside down knowledge tells us we can use this to make MP3s. MP3s? MP3s?? He will be selling Windows 3.1 watches next.. As it goes, I had a very decent quality USB turntable about ten years ago. It was a nightmare trying to use it alongside the problematic software. Even as an historical experiment..I wouldn’t go near a top quality one, let alone a ‘free gift’ version ever again. Just buy yourself some vinyl if you want. Or get yourself a decent turntable to just play it on. There is plenty of it now being produced ‘as new’ to buy, too.
 
The Irish woman is presenting the ceramic radiators you MUST have and we don’t extravaganza. Temperatures to fall to minus 14, she says, teeth chattering.. NOT minus 14. They could…could fall to 14 degrees Fahrenheit, that’s minus 10 degrees Celsius. But hey..don’t let the facts get in the way…
 
We now have an American ice skater presenting. I think I remember him from Dancing on Ice. An ice skater selling shelves - surreal. Even more surreal than a shelf builder doing a triple salko. He didn’t get a great start when his VTs went haywire, but for a shopping TV presenter so far, he makes an Olympic champion skater. He’s struggling to be fair. That said - I can imagine the job is not easy to do and to seem like you are having a natural conversation.
 
He really is struggling. He can do the cue cards stuff but appears to have no natural conversation outside of that. The Irish guy, Alan, luckily has the gift of the gab. Without that, we would have some very long silences. When you see the job done badly, you realise the skills these regular presenters have in being able to keep talking for up to an hour at times - despite us wishing they wouldn’t. I wonder if we will see him on the channel again?
 
they are loving selling those radiators today, hayley saying you nred these because of the weather warnings, and several airports shut

By the sounds of it s couple of runways at Manchester are shut, but how does that have anything to do with radiators
 
The Duke of Cheese said:
We now have an American ice skater presenting. I think I remember him from Dancing on Ice. An ice skater selling shelves - surreal. Even more surreal than a shelf builder doing a triple salko. He didn’t get a great start when his VTs went haywire, but for a shopping TV presenter so far, he makes an Olympic champion skater. He’s struggling to be fair. That said - I can imagine the job is not easy to do and to seem like you are having a natural conversation.
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I wonder what the thought process was there, then at Bid?

‘OK, so we’ve got a famous US ice skater in tomorrow afternoon. What will he be best at presenting? What will viewers associate him with, and see him as a natural advocate of.? Any ideas, young Billy?’

’I know, boss, shelves!’

’You’re right Billy. That’s it. Shelves. People will always remember that time he googled ‘Help, I accidentally….’ ‘And what was the reply, young Billy?’

’…built a shelf, Boss’.

’That’s it. Built a shelf’.

I think I need a lie down.
The voices in my head are now more sane than Bid TV.
 

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