Random musings and general banter.

[historymystery]

I'm going to apply for a presenter job, this would be my dialogue if flogging microfibre cloths ...

These cloths have their origins back in ancient Egypt.
Actually remnants of similar cloths were found in most tombs within the Valley of the Kings.
Our cloths are hand made, in Egypt, using only the finest micro-silk.
Each cloth requires 200 miles of spun micro-silk to make.
Each cloth takes 10 days to hand craft.
Only virgins aged between 21 and 23 of a height between 5'6" and 5'9" are allowed to make them.
They are shipped to the UK in a traditional Khufu ship built around 2500BC. Not a replica, an original.
When the cloths arrive in the UK, they are hand delivered to our storeroom, on foot direct from the shipping port, by direct descendants of Egyptian Kings and Queens.

ONLY £9.99 FOR A PACK OF 10 OR £29.99 FOR A TWIN PACK, HURRY HURRY HURRY!!!

Excellent! You're a natural, get yourself an application form and apply pronto, you're almost as good as the Maestro Pete himself.

I keep thinking what a comedy show you could make out of these selly telly channels shenanigans (starring Pete as Himself, of course).

 

[historymystery]

Oh no, the fish lipped gargoyle is on now. Thought I’d switched to the Horror Channrl. Hope I sleep ok and don’t have nightmares.

the fish lipped gargoyle..

Which of the presenters is this? Seriously, what a great description, and I hope you bought one (or even better, multi-bought?)

 

[historymystery]

Excuse me, but I am living in 1978.

Beer is 30p a pint. Inflation is 8%. I like listening to the Bee Gees and wearing a white suit with 28" flairs. I'm hoping Scotland will make it to the 2nd round of a major competition for the first time. Ally Mcleod is a great manager with a realistic chance of lifting the world cup.

I usually buy my goods on the high street or by mail order but I'm looking forward to "teleshopping" due to begin next year. Space age, man.

There's a bright young TV presenter who shows a lot of promise:
View attachment 28922
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They should have given the job to the rabbit...it would have made a better presenter......

 

[Hammy60]

Links in to my other post about misinformed presenters vs lying presenters. If giving him the benefit of the doubt you'd class him as the former, however I suspect he's the latter. i.e. lying and completely misrepresenting the brand and fully aware he's doing it.

This is a weird one.

It's got to be both and not just limited to him, but also those running the show are liars by allowing him to spout this rubbish.

They will all know from previous shows what the presenter's standard script for selling Duchamp is, even that's a load of rubbish, and at no time has anybody on IW or even at Duchamp, apart from Jezza, suggested that Duchamp is a person or that he has a UK workshop. Therfore he should know and so should those in charge of the show that the claims he is making are patently false, yet he's allowed to repeat them everytime he appears with Duchamp watches.

He's most definately misinformed, and ignorant, to a certain extent, but there is definately a good deal of lying going on here, somebody made up this crap and as he's the only one spouting it then it's pretty obvious who the culprit is.

 

[Jazzydrury]

This is a weird one.

It's got to be both and not just limited to him, but also those running the show are liars by allowing him to spout this rubbish.

They will all know from previous shows what the presenter's standard script for selling Duchamp is, even that's a load of rubbish, and at no time has anybody on IW or even at Duchamp, apart from Jezza, suggested that Duchamp is a person or that he has a UK workshop. Therfore he should know and so should those in charge of the show that the claims he is making are patently false, yet he's allowed to repeat them everytime he appears with Duchamp watches.

He's most definately misinformed, and ignorant, to a certain extent, but there is definately a good deal of lying going on here, somebody made up this crap and as he's the only one spouting it then it's pretty obvious who the culprit is.

He is a Actor mind

 

[cheeky chappie]

 

[galesgal57]

This is a weird one.

It's got to be both and not just limited to him, but also those running the show are liars by allowing him to spout this rubbish.

They will all know from previous shows what the presenter's standard script for selling Duchamp is, even that's a load of rubbish, and at no time has anybody on IW or even at Duchamp, apart from Jezza, suggested that Duchamp is a person or that he has a UK workshop. Therfore he should know and so should those in charge of the show that the claims he is making are patently false, yet he's allowed to repeat them everytime he appears with Duchamp watches.

He's most definately misinformed, and ignorant, to a certain extent, but there is definately a good deal of lying going on here, somebody made up this crap and as he's the only one spouting it then it's pretty obvious who the culprit is.

But he's pally with Christophe, goes out drinking with him.

 

[Jazzydrury]

Don’t we get Peter in HD Later

 

[Wanderer]

Don’t we get Peter in HD Later

Is SD no good for you.....

 

[Jazzydrury]

Jezza went from being good, to shyster in no time

 

[galesgal57]

Been on less than a minute, and he's on about his aerated gusset. Yuk!

 

[Wanderer]

Jezza went from being good, to shyster in no time

I wonder if bonuses are paid based on sales......

 

[galesgal57]

Gimp suit repair tape. Just what Pedro wants.

 

[Wanderer]

Gimp suit repair tape. Just what Pedro wants.

Just a inch or two over his mouth would be great......

Might stop him saying "not comparing, I am just telling ya"

 

[Duke of Cheese]

But he's pally with Christophe, goes out drinking with him.

It’s true. They are best buddies…On their way home from the boozer the other night. Waiting for a kebab…

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

I've seen people with those neck fans. Might be good for when I'm travelling on the Underground where the temperature is hotter than in a sauna. Did she find it was useful?

They do ballroom dancing so it was a godsend

 

[Wanderer]

What is anti mercurial feature of these Sankom World Famous socks....

Last of the fans up next..... very last of the stock in the back of Del Boys van....

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Apparently he was soaking wet and TOSSING and turning last night in a room at 18 degrees centigrade with no opening windows. Sounds about right.

 

[Wanderer]

Apparently he was soaking wet and TOSSING and turning last night in a room at 18 degrees centigrade with no opening windows. Sounds about right.

Well some would def. consider him a toss*r.

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

Well it looks like the caravan of tat is actually the more profitable solution after all. How long before Tim Britton, Shona etc. etc. return to Ideal World? Not sure about Dennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Will Simon Ilse be back with Piranha?