My one said something different:
We'd love to get you in debt,
We haven't quite managed it yet,
So here's 3 easy-pay
To show you the way,
Or you could just play Russian Roulette.
We have so many TSVs to tempt you,
Though you seem to have resisted them hitherto,
If Quacker Factory doesn't suit,
There's a choice of Ugg boot,
Or a King's Realm Bat's Ovary Fondue.
Perhaps you'd like a pearl by Honora,
Though the clasps can be tricky, we should warn ya,
Or a dimoneeeeek ring,
That would be just the thing,
Or some junk by Suzi B of California.
Kirks Folly has some delightful wee pieces,
Storybook Knits has branched out into fleeces,
Butler & Wilson's good for tat,
Ooops, did we really say that?
You could always give it to your least favoured nieces.
We'd like to recommend Tova
If your love affair with Philosophy is over,
Or there's Bellapierre
And that Michael DiCesare,
Come on now, you'll think you're in clover.
We think of you as our good friend,
Though we wish you would bloody well spend,
Let us take your cash,
Forget the economic crash,
Or your account we will have to suspend.
So we'll end it here thus,
Merry Christmas from us,
We really adore you,
And now we implore you
To open your tightly locked purse.
Love and kisses from all your pals at QVC.
