Pope Pete's eloquent words

[shopperholic]

I looked in IW the other day when it was garden special and our Rev was so amazed at the bargain price that he was overcome and speechless, he asked the guest (a lady, I don't know her name) to carry on.
Then he stood there with that look of disbelief , with his usual , hands clasped, both forefingers on his closed lips....."so amazed at the cheap price "
Wow, what an act!!

Yeah he's nominated for a BAFTA....................the Bl**dy Awful Foolish Turd Award. (Could've put a few expletives there at the end that would've been more appropriate. :mysmilie_17

 

[caretodiffer]

Yeah he's nominated for a BAFTA....................the Bl**dy Awful Foolish Turd Award. (Could've put a few expletives there at the end that would've been more appropriate. :mysmilie_17

he will win it hands down!

 

[shopperholic]

he will win it hands down!

Without a doubt.........but I'd much prefer it if his hands were up were you can see them, if you know what I mean. :mysmilie_17:

 

[Greg]

I reckon 'Pop it in Pete' Simon is on poppers...

 

[Price Plunge]

I reckon 'Pop it in Pete' Simon is on poppers...

Most likely bought a crate-load in anticipation of the "legal highs" ban and is now consuming them at an alarming rate. Allegedly.

 

[Wirral70]

Most likely bought a crate-load in anticipation of the "legal highs" ban and is now consuming them at an alarming rate. Allegedly.

He's vile, pulling his shorts tight for Camel Toe was too much.

Even Richard Simmons doesn't do that :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

He's vile, pulling his shorts tight for Camel Toe was too much.

Even Richard Simmons doesn't do that :mysmilie_59:

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Have you heard his 'gag' about somebody looking in his garage and he asks them if they saw a Jaguar and they say no, just a mini with two flat tyres.......right.......honk honk!

Cracked me right up :sleepy:

 

[Wirral70]

Have you heard his 'gag' about somebody looking in his garage and he asks them if they saw a Jaguar and they say no, just a mini with two flat tyres.......right.......honk honk!

Cracked me right up :sleepy:

I know, tiresome little wretch.

He's still using the gag about not liking Rugby at school because he thought they were all talking about him in the Scrum.

I wish his carcass would just hurry up and fully decompose. He doesn't need to be biodegradable, we'll just get that Lloyd YMCA Daddy Dude to flush him away with his X Hose :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

I know, tiresome little wretch.

He's still using the gag about not liking Rugby at school because he thought they were all talking about him in the Scrum.

I wish his carcass would just hurry up and fully decompose. He doesn't need to be biodegradable, we'll just get that Lloyd YMCA Daddy Dude to flush him away with his X Hose :mysmilie_59:

I'm lucky, I've somehow missed the rugby gag, although half the time he's on air he looks like he's just been in a scrum and lost!

His carcass must have been bonded at birth......he rolls around the floor at every given opportunity but wheel out that pleather chair and out come the ailments........'aw do ya nor my hips right and I've got a right problem with me back and bone density me'.

And somebody please get him some decent socks for his old corn riddled feet!!

 

[Wirral70]

I'm lucky, I've somehow missed the rugby gag, although half the time he's on air he looks like he's just been in a scrum and lost!

His carcass must have been bonded at birth......he rolls around the floor at every given opportunity but wheel out that pleather chair and out come the ailments........'aw do ya nor my hips right and I've got a right problem with me back and bone density me'.

And somebody please get him some decent socks for his old corn riddled feet!!

Ha Ha :mysmilie_19: Oh he's absolutely hideous Momma, he revolts me. And his piggy knarled trotters are no doubt as grotesque as his big Camel Toe.

But can I just say that I utterly despise that Suzy Taramasalata Ionnides sort, she's as sour as Ouzo. Her and him with their effin rank Bonded Pleather Plop is too much, her voice?

She's like some Greek Goy Anthea Turner impersonator, that drone is worse that CHUNTLEYS.

And now we have Honky Tonks Nanty shilling Ladies Frocks with Lizard Chops De Knees. I bet he knows all there is to know about Quilts too, betcha he sits sewing them for his Mam :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

Ha Ha :mysmilie_19: Oh he's absolutely hideous Momma, he revolts me. And his piggy knarled trotters are no doubt as grotesque as his big Camel Toe.

But can I just say that I utterly despise that Suzy Taramasalata Ionnides sort, she's as sour as Ouzo. Her and him with their effin rank Bonded Pleather Plop is too much, her voice?

She's like some Greek Goy Anthea Turner impersonator, that drone is worse that CHUNTLEYS.

And now we have Honky Tonks Nanty shilling Ladies Frocks with Lizard Chops De Knees. I bet he knows all there is to know about Quilts too, betcha he sits sewing them for his Mam :mysmilie_59:

View attachment 11411

Oh I can't stand her voice either, I know a womans voice doesn't break but hers needs to!

Nanty bought his Mam some cushion walk shoes last week then and they're the most comfortable she's ever had and she's bought loads.......and his Mam would look good in that and that and that.......oh shut up! What the hell is the need for him to be there??

 

[Mommabear]

Dee Knees wants that leather dipped hem jacket..........no you don't, it looks awful!

 

[Mommabear]

Hmmm she's told him off for eyeing up Simone's bottom :wonder:

 

[Muttley]

Have you heard his 'gag' about somebody looking in his garage and he asks them if they saw a Jaguar and they say no, just a mini with two flat tyres.......right.......honk honk!

Cracked me right up :sleepy:

Laugh? I nearly did. I'd love to meet the person who told him he was funny...

 

[Muttley]

Without a doubt.........but I'd much prefer it if his hands were up were you can see them, if you know what I mean. :mysmilie_17:

I do know what you mean, and I wholeheartedly agree with you...

 

[Wirral70]

Oh I can't stand her voice either, I know a womans voice doesn't break but hers needs to!

Nanty bought his Mam some cushion walk shoes last week then and they're the most comfortable she's ever had and she's bought loads.......and his Mam would look good in that and that and that.......oh shut up! What the hell is the need for him to be there??

Cushion Walk Shoes? Whatever.

The poor old cow would be lucky if that Honky Tonks Door Hinge Nanty bought her a pair of Castors to push her around on.

Do remember that 'Mam' had to make do with his minging old Actifry, it still had loads of the fat swilling around from Big Dom Jase's Iceland Donner Meat :mysmilie_59:

 

[historymystery]

How come his Mum can afford to "buy loads" when he pleads poverty? Can't afford this, can't afford that, etc. I thought Mum was on her uppers (and that's not her shoe uppers, by the way...)

Oh I can't stand her voice either, I know a womans voice doesn't break but hers needs to!

Nanty bought his Mam some cushion walk shoes last week then and they're the most comfortable she's ever had and she's bought loads.......and his Mam would look good in that and that and that.......oh shut up! What the hell is the need for him to be there??

 

[historymystery]

Laugh? I thought I'd never start....

Have you heard his 'gag' about somebody looking in his garage and he asks them if they saw a Jaguar and they say no, just a mini with two flat tyres.......right.......honk honk!

Cracked me right up :sleepy:

 

[shopperholic]

Me, I laughed so hard I nearly bought a round. :mysmilie_15:

 

[shopperholic]

I didn't really............I don't drink........... :mysmilie_17: