Overused Words/Phrases in the QVC Dictionary....

ShoppingTelly

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..any mention of Geri Halliwell or Jade Jagger. Never met either but hate both...
 
AY to Amika. I don't think i've ever seen your make up look as good as this. On every make up show she's on.
 
And what they're really thinking...

"We can't re-order this." (We've fallen out with the vendor / we had hundreds of returns and they've been hanging around the warehouse for years / we're going to design a slightly different version and charge you twice the price...)

"You're absolutely LOVING this..." (I can't believe so many people would fall for my spiel about this tatty item.)

"We've managed to secure this for you at an amazing price." (After months of rabid negotiations with the vendor, they agreed to supply it at only five times cost, but removed the lining / took out the one full-size product / gave us only the colours that no-one would buy in their stores)

"We're down to single figures!" (We had twelve to begin with, now we have nine.)

"Don't buy this if you don't want to be noticed." (Garish? It could be seen from space. But there's no accounting for taste.)
 
I've just been imagining if they carried on like this in real shops, e.g Asda, M&S, etc, you'd run out screaming and the sales assistant would be sent to lie down in a darkened room and then they'd be sacked......which begs the question why we (sometimes) fall for it on QVC?
 
I love this thread. there's something quite comforting about knowing that you're not the only one who gets ticked off everytime they spout this inane nonsense.
I would love one of the presenters to turn round and say
" actually i wouldn't buy this overpriced tat if you paid me. I go down to the high street and buy something just as good at half the price. I also don't pay parking charges as the car park is free so you can **** your p&p charges! "

Oh and don't forget the £25 for a cappachino, the crowds, the weather etc
 
This will improve the look of the actual face area...

It's almost like a seeeeeeeeeeeeerum...

This is for sophisticated skincare users...

If you're 18-20 don't buy it. If you're not seeing lines on the actual eye area, don't buy it. If you haven't got skin, don't buy it...

You can only buy this in the most prestige places, Bond Street, Deansgate in Bolton, Chorley Market by private appointment...
 
This will improve the look of the actual face area...

It's almost like a seeeeeeeeeeeeerum...

This is for sophisticated skincare users...

If you're 18-20 don't buy it. If you're not seeing lines on the actual eye area, don't buy it. If you haven't got skin, don't buy it...

You can only buy this in the most prestige places, Bond Street, Deansgate in Bolton, Chorley Market by private appointment...


You forgot to add the local pound shop and next weekend's car boot sale (for Gayle Hayman etc)!
 
i must warn you this is approaching limited stock

I'd wear this with my birkis

this would be great for the school run. add mascara to your lip gloss and sunglasses and your ready to go

this is my favourite nail polish colour, Said to Nails inc, opi and LD

this lipgloss isn't just colour it's conditioning on the lip area.

I washed my baby in this to either keeley about the Elemis milk bath or Alexis about the shea milk bath.
 
'Congratulations' to all of you who got it....... (wow what an achievement!)

Yep, congratulations to all of you who 'jumped on the phones' and parted with your 'unbelievably low first easy payment plus postage and packing'.

Congratulations too for when your box of tat arrives that you're afraid to return due to fear of receiving THAT LETTER, you then figure out that you're still paying for said tat until a few months into 2010.

But never mind, break it up into smaller gifts for all the people we already mentioned and then congratulations to them cos they get useless presents!

It's congratulations all round really isn't it? Spreading the QVC joy!!
 
this thread is great, think I will print it out and keep it by my side while watching QVC and stop myself wasting money. Could also make a bingo card with all the top words and phrases and play a little game. That would stop me "jumping to the phone" (not that I ever have)
 
Posted by Medusa
"Claire sutton and her girlie talk and mention of her mummy all the time. I can't watch her without wanting to drop kick the cat at the tele"

Sorry, nothing else to add to all the great replies but this had me spitting my coffee at the screen! Not, kicking the cat, not throwing the cat but drop kicking the cat conjured up a goalie taking the cat and .... ! Sooo funny... ..by the way, I'm a cat lover and have one myself but didn't stop me laughing out loud.
 
Stunning - stunning this, stunning that - makes me feel like I've done ten rounds with the George Foreman grill...
 
The antwacky flannel bedding that "feels like puppy dogs' ears"

The disgusting garish nail colour that "would look great on the toes"

The overpriced bottle of shower gel with stupid writing all over it that nobody reads - which can be used as a shower gel, bath foam, shampoo, paint stripper etc "Better buy two of these as this will go missing from your bathroom as mine did!"

"Leighton Denny can't enter any more nail competitions"

"When you wear this item strangers will stop you and ask you where you got it from"(after they've picked themselves up from the floor and stopped laughing)

"Although the model wearing these Kim&Co trousers is 6'2" you can buy them and roll them over and over at the top as Kim does, she's only 4'1" and they still look great"
 
AY during beauty hours when l'occitane products will be featured later.
How many times she says Alexis is in the building , like Madonna or the Queen will make her entrance. No, AY, we care about the produtcs, not a sales person who thinks too highly of herself anyway.
 
This thread is hilarious!..kudos,iconic,Harrods,hero even,..I mean actually!


By the way thanks to iclaudipuss I can NEVER again hear the name Jade Jagger without thinking "MURKY MUDFLAPS".
 
I don't think that my absolute bugbear has been mentioned yet (does that mean I don't have anything in common with anyone else in the QVC world? :sweat:):

"Talk us through exactly what we're getting here".

And they're never allowed to get more than 1-2 items into the list before AY leads them into an encomium on one of the items, never to return to "what we're getting here".

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

clemenzina
 
.....this is a considered purchase................

why not just say that it's EXPENSIVE!
 

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