(with apologies to Jenny Joseph!)
As I am an old man I shall wear purple
With red shoes that don't go, and don't suit me.
I shall spend my pension on cardis and rolled-up jeans
And city shorts, and say we've no money for Birkis.
I shall give fashion advice which is tired
And creep in on shows and alarm viewers with socks in unlikely places
Dress it up or down with my little t-shirt
And holiday in Cornwall in three to five working days
I shall wear my slippers live on air
And pick flowers in Richard Jacksy's garden
And we can talk sh*t forever.
As I am an old man I shall wear purple
With red shoes that don't go, and don't suit me.
I shall spend my pension on cardis and rolled-up jeans
And city shorts, and say we've no money for Birkis.
I shall give fashion advice which is tired
And creep in on shows and alarm viewers with socks in unlikely places
Dress it up or down with my little t-shirt
And holiday in Cornwall in three to five working days
I shall wear my slippers live on air
And pick flowers in Richard Jacksy's garden
And we can talk sh*t forever.