My colleague - An update

[merryone]

Some of you may have seen that I asked Sazza to remove the original post. The reason was that I discovered a Google link to that thread that could be viewed by anybody (member or not). I felt it highly likely that my colleague would be searching the net for answers,& similar cases and that to stumble across one's own story would be extremely disconcerting. I didn't feel comfortable with that idea. I did however, say that I would keep everyone posted in a more "anonymous" post. She has been given a first & final written warning. I think she's been very lucky!

 

[mediastar]

Are we talking about the Robertsons Preserves Mascot post? She must feel as if she has woken up in a very different world, thank goodness, from the one she thought was so much better.

Employers, particularly those with such a high profile as hers, have to avoid scandal at all costs, and they must hold all their representatives/employees to account as those views could reflect badly on the company as a whole imvho any way!

Thanks for the update, have you checked that the Google link no longer works? Cos sometimes I've gone searching and the item might have been removed from the site, but the link still works and takes you to an older version...

 

[merryone]

Are we talking about the Robertsons Preserves Mascot post? She must feel as if she has woken up in a very different world, thank goodness, from the one she thought was so much better.

Employers, particularly those with such a high profile as hers, have to avoid scandal at all costs, and they must hold all their representatives/employees to account as those views could reflect badly on the company as a whole imvho any way!

Thanks for the update, have you checked that the Google link no longer works? Cos sometimes I've gone searching and the item might have been removed from the site, but the link still works and takes you to an older version...

Yes I checked and though you can click on it, it just leads to an oops this page no longer exists message so all good. I'd hope now that she just wants to forget the incident and get on with her life so the risk of looking for things about it would diminish imo. I would've thought that she was only saved by her previously unblemished long service

 

[mediastar]

I was in our work version of Facebook, called workplace, and someone sort of dismissed something I said, I am dyspraxic, so I find it difficult to manage certain things, in a very ableist way, like "I have no problem with it and a can't understand why you and a few others do, but if making that thing easier, why not". I told him that left me feeling diminished even if he didn't INTEND to come across that way. That's the thing when people have no awareness of their racist, mysogynist or ableist attitudes they still hurt others.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I was in our work version of Facebook, called workplace, and someone sort of dismissed something I said, I am dyspraxic, so I find it difficult to manage certain things, in a very ableist way, like "I have no problem with it and a can't understand why you and a few others do, but if making that thing easier, why not". I told him that left me feeling diminished even if he didn't INTEND to come across that way. That's the thing when people have no awareness of their racist, mysogynist or ableist attitudes they still hurt others.

It is very easy to make a thoughtless remark that is very hurtful. I have done it myself, but like you did, my colleagues who were affected immediately called me out and explained why what I said was so hurtful. That way, provided the person you call out isn't a jerk who doubles down on their bad behaviour, learns how to do better. In my case it was hearing loss. I know better, so I try to do better.
Educating people in the theory is great, but the context of a real lived experience unfortunately will continue to happen. I'd rather people directly affected continue to speak up and call this out, however exhausting it can be. I would hate to have inadvertently hurt someone and not realise it and have them resent me without having the chance to apologise and have the opportunity to be better.
It's a shame your colleague did the non-apology apology comment.
None of us is perfect. Some may be blessed with no handicaps in life, but most of us have something, or maybe more than one thing, that makes navigating life set up for the majority just a bit (or a lot) more difficult.

Some of you may have seen that I asked Sazza to remove the original post. The reason was that I discovered a Google link to that thread that could be viewed by anybody (member or not). I felt it highly likely that my colleague would be searching the net for answers,& similar cases and that to stumble across one's own story would be extremely disconcerting. I didn't feel comfortable with that idea. I did however, say that I would keep everyone posted in a more "anonymous" post. She has been given a first & final written warning. I think she's been very lucky!

You are very kind and thoughtful. No surprise there. I hope they can pick themselves up, dust themselves down, and take more care with posting/reposting/liking... social media lesson learned the hard way!

 

[merryone]

I was in our work version of Facebook, called workplace, and someone sort of dismissed something I said, I am dyspraxic, so I find it difficult to manage certain things, in a very ableist way, like "I have no problem with it and a can't understand why you and a few others do, but if making that thing easier, why not". I told him that left me feeling diminished even if he didn't INTEND to come across that way. That's the thing when people have no awareness of their racist, mysogynist or ableist attitudes they still hurt others.

I'm glad that you had the confidence to challenge that person as I'm sure there's many who wouldn't have done. This is it though, put something on a public notice board, even if it's something a relatively small group can see ie work colleagues what you write won't necessarily come across the way you intended it to. On the second point I just don't know how anyone in this day and age unless they've been walking around with a bucket on their head for the past 30 years or so can possibly think such attitudes will pass with out consequence - It's not just the hurt and offence caused to others it's the damage you do to your own reputation, and if it ties into your workplace then the punishment could be as severe as job loss.

 

[maymorganlondon]

Much of the time education is more effective than sacking someone, particularly when it's that 0 second thought before posting a like or re-tweet or whatever X calls them these days (Elon seems obsessed with the letter X).