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When we got engaged The Count was only 24 but he was earning a fantastic wage. I think for him it was a point of pride that he bought me the biggest, best diamond he could afford. I actually had to stop him from spending more! My thinking is that you only get engaged once in your life (you hope), so you might as well have the best ring you can afford - be it £20 diamonique or £20,000 diamonds.

We paid for our wedding, and decided on a smaller wedding with few frills so that we could afford a magnificent, unforgettable honeymoon. Both our wedding and our honeymoon were brilliant, what more could we ask for?

Cheers, CountessK.
 
Sounds fab, Countess.

Getting off topic now but considering that most people already have a lot of household items when they get married and often have lived together for years I am a fan of having a honeymoon fund instead of a traditional wedding list. This way the guests contribute to give the couple a memorable experience and no one ends up with 20 pressure cookers and 5 different silver serving sets or whatever gets given at weddings these days.
 
cavegirl said:
Hmmm - now you see I'm with Kathy on this one. I know she's trying to flog whatever she's selling and all that jazz - but I'd honestly rather have a cheaper ring and a nice honeymoon, or have the money to put towards wherever I was going to live with his nibs...:tongue:
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Couldn't agree more!! I don't have an engagement ring.
 
When we got engaged my OH had just left Uni & started his first proper job plus we had just bought a flat. My engagement ring was a platinum band with a small solitaire diamond that my OH had saved up for & bought from a jeweller who was a family friend. Years later when we were more established, my OH bought me as a surprise, a platinum eternity ring that cost significantly more.
These days I rarely wear my eternity/engagement rings but when I look at my engagement ring, I don't really look at the stone, just the inscription. I remember the day we got engaged and the excitement we felt and it always makes me smile. It's not the biggest diamond, but I wouldn't change it.
Looking back, for me the ring isn't so important, it's the sentiment :flower::flower::flower:
 
Ilovelulu said:
Well having recently got engaged after 5 years together my fiancee popped the question with a solitaire stone, which judging by the size and our lack of funds I knew wouldn't be real. It was a lovely ring but not for me, I had always fancied an antique style ring and had even suggested a £30 one from QVC!

When I found out the cost of the one he chose I figured I would add some cash to it and we could look about for something more to my taste! He's a cool dude so was happy for me to pick one myself. Well I got a 0.15ct diamond pave ring, art deco style which wasn't much more than he paid for the other one and I love it!

For me it wasn't really the cost it was more the style and something to suit me. OH is just happy that I'm happy with it, oh and that I said YES! lol x
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Congratulations on your engagement, your ring sounds lovely:glass::glass::glass::clapping::clapping:
 
thanks folks for the congrats! Now its just the long hard slog to save for the wedding as its me and OH that are paying for it as my mum and his parents can't afford to contribute (and tbh wouldn't really want them to fork out that kind of cash anyway). Looking at a small gathering of family and close friends, with fab food and a party!

I agree on the honeymoon fund as we're already 'living in sin' we have pretty much all the usual household stuff so we would appreciate a really nice honeymoon instead! x
 
Ilovelulu said:
thanks folks for the congrats! Now its just the long hard slog to save for the wedding as its me and OH that are paying for it as my mum and his parents can't afford to contribute (and tbh wouldn't really want them to fork out that kind of cash anyway). Looking at a small gathering of family and close friends, with fab food and a party!

I agree on the honeymoon fund as we're already 'living in sin' we have pretty much all the usual household stuff so we would appreciate a really nice honeymoon instead! x
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The last wedding I went to in October, the bride & groom popped in a card saying much the same as you have written, so we all contributed to them having a super honeymoon. I'd much rather give money so the wedding couple can do what they want with it, than give them things that will sit in a cupboard. :happy::happy::happy:
 
Ilovelulu said:
thanks folks for the congrats! Now its just the long hard slog to save for the wedding as its me and OH that are paying for it as my mum and his parents can't afford to contribute (and tbh wouldn't really want them to fork out that kind of cash anyway). Looking at a small gathering of family and close friends, with fab food and a party!

I agree on the honeymoon fund as we're already 'living in sin' we have pretty much all the usual household stuff so we would appreciate a really nice honeymoon instead! x
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My advice is to ignore the wedding magazines! You don't need things like fancy flowers and bespoke invitations and flipping favours! Our wedding was so small that I was able to write out all our invitations by hand (I got the 'fill in the blanks' type from John Lewis), the flowers on the tables were out of M&S, and we had no favours. Granny made our cake, my bridesmaids' dresses were out of Alders @ £80 each, we had a wedding taxi instead of a limo, and we limited our day guests to 40, with another 60-odd for the disco (no band) at night. And it was honestly fabulous, just as good as any of the big affairs I've been to.

As for the honeymoon, we went all-inc to Mexico - oh yeah, everything is much much cheaper if you get married outwith the wedding season, you can bag a fair bargain. Good luck with the big day and beyond!
 
CountessK said:
My advice is to ignore the wedding magazines! You don't need things like fancy flowers and bespoke invitations and flipping favours! Our wedding was so small that I was able to write out all our invitations by hand (I got the 'fill in the blanks' type from John Lewis), the flowers on the tables were out of M&S, and we had no favours. Granny made our cake, my bridesmaids' dresses were out of Alders @ £80 each, we had a wedding taxi instead of a limo, and we limited our day guests to 40, with another 60-odd for the disco (no band) at night. And it was honestly fabulous, just as good as any of the big affairs I've been to.

As for the honeymoon, we went all-inc to Mexico - oh yeah, everything is much much cheaper if you get married outwith the wedding season, you can bag a fair bargain. Good luck with the big day and beyond!
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Thanks Countess! Yeah thats our thinking as well. I hate the thought of spending a couple of grand on a dress I'll wear once and I esp hate the idea of spending ridiculous sums of money on people I never see, so limiting guest list to about 50 all in max (may even reduce this!). I firmly believe its about being together with people you love to celebrate the love you share with someone rather than an overblown affair!

I absolutely love watching 'My big fat gypsy wedding' though! the size of those dresses makes me laugh everytime (goodness knows what those cost, never mind weigh!) x
 
cavegirl said:
Hmmm - now you see I'm with Kathy on this one. I know she's trying to flog whatever she's selling and all that jazz - but I'd honestly rather have a cheaper ring and a nice honeymoon, or have the money to put towards wherever I was going to live with his nibs...:tongue:
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Me too. I've got some lovely faux Diamonique rings from the US (around the $10 mark !) and they are very blingy and plenty good enough for me. The money I save is spent on holidays .....to the US !
 
We had to pay...

for our wedding also as both sets of parents were unable to contribute (and we didn't expect them to anyway).

I made all our wedding invites, Order of Service etc. Bought my dress from a designer wedding shop in Chiswick. It was in the sale, originally £1200 I got it for £250 (it was so tight I couldn't hardly do it up so it made me diet and on the day it was loose!).

My husband-to-be sold his cherished motorbike to pay for the wedding reception and I was working for a food retailer at the time who gave me a present of all the wedding cake ingredients and I made our cake - a 3 tier jobbie, all mixed with a wooden spoon in a (new) washing up bowl. These are the things you remember...
 
London said:
for our wedding also as both sets of parents were unable to contribute (and we didn't expect them to anyway).

I made all our wedding invites, Order of Service etc. Bought my dress from a designer wedding shop in Chiswick. It was in the sale, originally £1200 I got it for £250 (it was so tight I couldn't hardly do it up so it made me diet and on the day it was loose!).
My husband-to-be sold his cherished motorbike to pay for the wedding reception and I was working for a food retailer at the time who gave me a present of all the wedding cake ingredients and I made our cake - a 3 tier jobbie, all mixed with a wooden spoon in a (new) washing up bowl. These are the things you remember...
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Hi London, and welcome along! Yep thats my thinking re the dress, there is a Barnado's shop in Edinburgh (I think) that sells ex-sample dresses only and I really like the thought of buying my dress and also helping the charity as well. I'm a pretty rotten baker but M&S do fab plainly decorated cakes and as I love a bit of crafting I'm going to do up the cakes myself! I'm looking forward to finding money saving ideas which are individual as well!
 
Everytime weddings come up I'm like a rusty old doorbell banging out the same tune but check out offbeatbride.com and indiebride.com. They are both a bit alternative but they have great money saving tips, as well.

Back home you'd rent a village or parish hall, get a local pub/restaurant to cater and have a relative make the cake. No bridesmaids, either, just a best man and best woman. I can see both being pleasant, the small do and the big elaborate affair, but I have to admit what I absolutely *hate* are those "these are traditions/customs you must stick to" articles you often get in wedding magazines.
 
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A warm welcome to London and congratulations to IloveLulu. 25 years ago, my parents paid and arranged our wedding apart from suits for the men. I was the only daughter etc. Also we lived in UK and the wedding was at their place in Ireland. It wasn't a massive do, but in a nice hotel. There were people there that I had never clapped eyes on in my life nor seen since. It also meant that I had no say at all in arrangements like music, food etc. I am grateful, but would have been happy for the two of us to go away somewhere abroad and do it. I was way too meek in those days. There is way too much pressure on couples however you do it.
 
Itchy said:
A warm welcome to London and congratulations to IloveLulu. 25 years ago, my parents paid and arranged our wedding apart from suits for the men. I was the only daughter etc. Also we lived in UK and the wedding was at their place in Ireland. It wasn't a massive do, but in a nice hotel. There were people there that I had never clapped eyes on in my life nor seen since. It also meant that I had no say at all in arrangements like music, food etc. I am grateful, but would have been happy for the two of us to go away somewhere abroad and do it. I was way too meek in those days. There is way too much pressure on couples however you do it.
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Our wedding was very similar and looking back we would have enjoyed a more personal do, maybe just the two of us going away somewhere. We were only 21 and I was the only child so just got caught up in doing what was then 'the done thing'. Having said that though, I would hate to think I didn't get to see my son get married whenever that may happen (really selfish I know). It's not that I'd miss the big do but I'd love to just be close to him on his special day. Ooops. I can feel a real dressing down coming on when people read this. :thinking:
 
I can totally understand you'd want to see your son at that moment.

Me, I have to admit I like the idea of eloping somewhere and having a big part a few weeks afterwards - a bit of a cheat, maybe, but probably more relaxed.
 
No dressing down from me. We have 2 sons and I too would like to be there if and when they get married. Mind you at 20 and 21 they both say they are never going to! We will see! We all look back and think things could/should have been done differently, we probably would do the same, especially with a Mother like mine!! Anyway whether its big, small, paid by yourselves or parents, its still stressful at times and there will usually someone poking their oar in.
 
My son is getting married this year and I'm delighted they are having the wedding in the UK.:clapping: If they had eloped/gone abroad and not invited anyone, I would have understood & hid my disappointment:angel::sad:but I'm so glad I'll get to see them both and be part of the happy day!:clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
My eldest son and his fiancee are getting married in Cyprus in September as they reckoned it will be cheaper than marrying here then paying for a honeymoon as well. As there are very few relatives on both sides it will be a very small , intimate affair with just hubby, myself, other son, bride's mum, 2 yr old grandson and hopefully my brother coming all the way from W. Australia. Can't wait!
 
I would rather have a tiny diamond than a huge fake any day. My engagement ring cost about £50 second hand, the wedding cost £18.50 at the registry office and we came back to our house afterwards - all 10 of us!! We will have been married 25 years in April and I wouldn't change a second of it!!

But, each to their own. Other people will read this and think 'how boring'. If you are happy then it was right for you - whatever you did xx
 

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