I've reached the age of loathing weddings.
Same old format, early afternoon marriage then hungry for hours until you find your seated with complete strangers at a table for the sit down dinner, then the dreaded speeches which are worse than the Oscars for thanking people, kids running amok with no parental control, another long wait hanging around until the 'evening lot' arrives - by this time I've lost the will to live. Fresh faces arrive full of bon homie - of course they are, they've been snuggled up in peace at home all day ! Then its the abysmal disco, where the DJ only plays stuff he wants to listen to and sod his client audience, always at full volume so general conversation is an impossibility. The buffet appears and you get killed in the rush by marauding hordes who have never seen food, despite having dined earlier, and male guests start shedding their wedding attire as they hit the dance floor.
No, my time is too precious now to put myself through this torturous ritual, so when the "Save the Date" cards start appearing, I'll send a cheque along with my regrets.
