Julia R

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My “crossroad” was me and the husband were going to put off having children after we married for a few years, we then decided against it and started our family early, it was then after we had our eldest son that it was found I had pre cancerous cervical cells, so for the following two years I had laser, biopsies and colposcopies within an inch of my life, literally. We were told that if we wanted another child we’d have to start straight away because they’d have to start treatment and couldn’t put it off much longer, which we did and had our youngest. Turns out it was CIN-3 the stage before cancer, so was given a hysterectomy at 28. I wouldn’t have had a smear at 22 but they routinely did it after birth at your six week check up so my crossroad is, if we wouldn’t have decided to have our children early, I wouldn’t be here with all you amazing people today, my lovely Forum Buddies 🙏❤️🙏 scary hey. 😳
What an awful experience to have at the same time as what is usually the most joyous time. Glad your crossroads moment occurred.
 
Back in 2005 my first husband was dying with terminal cancer. He knew it was going to kill him but was asked if he`d consider going onto a drugs trial. The consultant told him it wouldn`t save his life and the best he could hope for would be buying him a bit of extra time but that the results of the drug trial would possibly help them develop better treatment for future patients.
My husband had little to gain from the trial but always said if he could help stop future sufferers then it would be worth it and of course he wanted to grasp the small hope that it would give him a few extra months with his wife and children. He was admitted to hospital for intravenous treatment and the drugs made him very ill.
I turned up every day and his sheets would be wet with sweat from the high temperature the drugs caused, nobody would have bothered to wash him or shave him or even make him comfortable. He would be surrounded with used urine bottles nobody bothered to shift and not one person had tried to get any kind of food or water into him. He was literally just left in his bed and forgotten about unless it was to plug him into another drip bag.
I hit the roof and contacted the person in charge of the drug trial (after umpteen attempts to get hold of them I hasten to add) and told them that a man was going through hell to help future cancer sufferers and yet he was being treated like **** and as if the only things which mattered were the numbers entered on his charts and that his lack of care was disgusting. I ranted for ages on that phone until my anger was spent but my heart was breaking for my husband.
The day after I walked onto the ward and found the actual ward sister/manager or whatever they called her, caring for my husband herself and she couldn`t look me in the eye. The day after that I brought him home and the next part of the drug treatment continued by injections given by the district nurses who were bloody wonderful. They came every day even when the drug trial ended and when we were told by the Consultant it hadn`t had any positive effect on his cancer and it was just a matter of time. One of those nurses was with me just a few weeks later when he died at home with me holding his hand and telling him I loved him. Whether he could hear I guess I`ll never know. He`d had a syringe driver fitted and was out of it but it at least kept him pain free.
Once the Gp had certified his death she asked me would I like to wash him, change his pj`s and make him look peaceful in his bed so other family members could spend a short time with him before the funeral directors were called. We did it together, the final caring thing I could do for him and she talked me through it step by step, she removed his syringe driver and his canula, we closed his eyes and his mouth, we washed him, shaved him, changed his clothes, combed his hair, placed his hands together and she treated him with such care and respect and stayed long after her shift should have ended.
Each one of those district nurses fought to give him the best care they could and I couldn`t have asked for more but as for the hospital, well I can never forgive them for dehumanising my husband the way they did. Yes it was a busy hospital , yes it specialised in cancer treatments but I could never call it cancer "care", not in my husband`s case.
Oh Vienna I was almost in tears reading this.🥰🥰xx
 
My “crossroad” was me and the husband were going to put off having children after we married for a few years, we then decided against it and started our family early, it was then after we had our eldest son that it was found I had pre cancerous cervical cells, so for the following two years I had laser, biopsies and colposcopies within an inch of my life, literally. We were told that if we wanted another child we’d have to start straight away because they’d have to start treatment and couldn’t put it off much longer, which we did and had our youngest. Turns out it was CIN-3 the stage before cancer, so was given a hysterectomy at 28. I wouldn’t have had a smear at 22 but they routinely did it after birth at your six week check up so my crossroad is, if we wouldn’t have decided to have our children early, I wouldn’t be here with all you amazing people today, my lovely Forum Buddies 🙏❤️🙏 scary hey. 😳
From the bottom of my heart I'm so glad you had that routine smear test ❤️
 
More about my lost love - - -

My parents had a wide circle of friends, and she was the daughter of one couple, so we had met very occasionally since we were about 15, and I was smitten even then.

When we were both about 17, we started to attend the same college, so I bumped into her a bit more often.

I almost plucked up the courage to ask her to the college dance, but chickened out in the end.

But after it was over, I mentioned it to my parents, and it eventually got back to her, and she said that she would have come with me, and that eventually got back to me.

Bring out the violins again.
Were you tempted to steal her away from him? When was the last time you saw him/them? If you did see them had she changed? Did they live happily ever after?
 
Were you tempted to steal her away from him? When was the last time you saw him/them? If you did see them had she changed? Did they live happily ever after?
Totally lost touch with her, and by the time I found out she was married to "the thwarted candidate" I was also married and had children.
 
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Heroes to me are the men and women who died fighting for this country , they are the people I applaud.
I totally agree and for me it's also the volunteers who give their time for nothing week after week in all sorts of different ways and without whom the country would be in a very sorry state.
 
I totally agree and for me it's also the volunteers who give their time for nothing week after week in all sorts of different ways and without whom the country would be in a very sorry state.
We said that on Friday when we were waiting for the vaccinations. I don't know about other countries but there must be something about being British that makes us willing to give up our time & make a difference.
 
This thread is very moving. I lost a very dear uncle and in a strange twist of fate I ended up living a few houses away from the hospice he passed in. I do believe in fate and it gives me comfort living here. Crossroads? I was accepted for the Wrens at 17 but when they said there was a three week decider time it put me off. I questioned why would I need it if I’m here, it just put doubts in my mind. shopper, fate saved you, thank God 🙌🙌🙌🙌❤️
 
This thread is very moving. I lost a very dear uncle and in a strange twist of fate I ended up living a few houses away from the hospice he passed in. I do believe in fate and it gives me comfort living here. Crossroads? I was accepted for the Wrens at 17 but when they said there was a three week decider time it put me off. I questioned why would I need it if I’m here, it just put doubts in my mind. shopper, fate saved you, thank God 🙌🙌🙌🙌❤️

Thanks Liam that’s so kind ❤️😘🙏
I’m so sorry for your loss, yeah I believe in fate too, what for you won’t pass you is an old saying from a very wise woman, my Nan..........she also swore a lot but I’ll leave that bit out. 😂❤️ xx
 

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