She's a presenter and her presenting is atrocious, filled with inanity and with zero information about the item being sold, other than it's amaaaazing, she couldn't live without it, Larry uses it, and she is absolutely loving it, especially with her being such a girly girl. Surely one of the reasons customers end up sending items back is because the relevant information isn't given during the presentation? Why should the customers then be harrassed by QVC for deciding to try a product and, finding it unsuitable, returning it under the 30 day MBG? If all apropos information was relayed by the presenter, this would be a less frequent scenario. JF isn't the only one guilty of this, but she is a candidate for the title of Worst Offender, and is, therefore, going to come under fire on a forum such as this. I also have never forgotten her response to a t-caller who had just lost her daughter, and I sincerely hope she was upbraided at the time for her insensitivity.
As to her intelligence, well, she appears to think that Kipling bags were 'invented' by Rudyard Kipling, that well-known designer, novelist, war poet and all-round Renaissance Man. I can just imagine his meeting with the last century equivalent of QVC:
"Now, what I've got in mind, see, is a bijou bag in a fetching primary colour, and you're going to really like this touch - a little toy monkey as a sort of keyring. I got the idea when I was working on The Jungle Book. I think it'll catch on..."
However, just to show that I'm not focusing on her alone, how about a brief rundown of the irritating, (or, to some, endearing...) traits of her fellow QVC-ers? I won't name names, but all guesses will be entered into a prize draw, where the winner will receive a gorgeous wee giftie, with an every quibble you can think of 30 day money back guarantee:
"...And this is your actual mascara, which you apply to your actual eyelashes, in your eye area, literally. And this actual presteejus product is used by actual celebrities, literally, who have it flown out to them on their own private actual planes, literally. You'll need to jump to the phones, literally, especially if you want the actual meejum, which is literally pewer and will last you for yurs and yurs, literally. This has been seen in the actual pages of presteejus magazines like Heat and Horse-Shaggers Weekly, literally, and all the big names like Jimmy Saville and Debbie Magee, literally use this actual product when they're appearing at presteejus actual premieres, literally. Buy one for your babysitter, one for your neighbour, literally, and one for your actual friend's son who's just joined that actual religious cult, literally, and what about getting an actual one for your actual uncle who's still stuck in Guantanamo Bay, literally..."
"...And this one's in whoops, er, um, I mean, erm, ah, well, it's a sort of greenish, purplish, oh, is it? Oh, yes, so it is, yellow, and it's whoops, oh, I think that's broken, but er, ah, erm, as you were saying, Michelle, I mean Kim, oops, sorry, Dennis, it would ooops, oh, that's fallen of the erm hanger, really suit a tallish, petite-ish woman on the slimmish plumpish side. And that last ballgown, er, tracksuit, oh, no, it was, wasn't it, yes, camisole, item number 123456, oh, no, that's the item coming up, but that last silver vest has sold out in the black ooops option, and I think this would be wonderful for oh, crikey, it's fallen, ooops, erm, ah, um..."
"And this Balance and Brighten is just so lovely wovely and would be really super for going for a coffee woffee with your bestest friendy wendy, and you just apply it to the facey wacey and it looks lovely, and we all want to look glammy wammy, don't we?"
"Now, I'm wearing the small, and the item numbah is on your screen now, along with the colah, as modelled by Tanyah, whatevah, and I'll be honest with you, awww, bless her, now this next one I was wearing before in the small, but the models will be in the extrah large, so take a little lurk at the numbah, and I'll be really honest with you now..."
"And you're absolutely loving this because it's absolutely superb and will stand you in good stead, and at just fordy pounds you really can't go wrong. Now this next item is absolutely superb and will definitely stand you in good stead, and it's only fifdy pounds and fordy eight pence, and you're absolutely loving this because it's absolutely superb..."
"And my old Gran used to say..."
"Take....a....look....at....this...today's...special...value...from...q...v...c...the...shopping...channel...I'm....going...to....have...to...rush...through...this...because...I'm...due...back...at...my...other...job...as...a...serial...killer...just...look...at...what...I...did...to...this...charlie...bear...earlier..."
THANK YOU!
