Jade Troth is back

[TheManWithNoName]

If 'Being Boring' was an Olympic sport, he could represent England.

They should introduce a boredom scale based on the same scoring as the Mohs scale. With 10 being most boring. It would look something like this:

10. Listening to Monotone Dave.
9. Endlessly chewing Steve's bland fibre 'pasta'
8. Watching grass grow
7. Watching paint dry.
6. Clipping your toe nails.
5. Counting the amount of beans in a tin of Heinz Baked Beans.
4. Counting the amount of times Jess Foley says 'absolutely'.
3. Listening to a Des O'Connor album on repeat.
2. Watching an episode of Hollyoaks.
1. Counting how many times Hattie scratches her nose.

 

[Battiola73]

If Jess had been born 100 years ago, she'd probably have been in a traveling freak show because of how wide she can manage open her jaws. She'd definitely give a python a run for its money anyway.

She’d give Lindsay on IW/TJC a run for her money in the competition for biggest gob.

 

[Ant7t]

The Troff Lecture is in progress as I type and he’s telling a long winded story

Just came to mind. Victor Hugo, aka Les Mis. (Book, not film / musical). I read the first book of the two volumes. There was a description of Fantine that went on virtually a full page (small font). It was very descriptive. When you read to the end, all he had to do was say, 'she was beautiful'.

 

[Anna]

The Troff Lecture is in progress as I type and he’s telling a long winded story about how he managed to get some pearls. Instead of a straightforward deal with the seller he turns it into a drawn out long blooming saga. He bought pearls but it took twenty minutes of absolute guff to tell everyone. He’s SO boring. Angeline is now saying that pearls feel alien to her because they’re SO rare lol. They really expect us to believe that there’s NO pearls being produced, hahahaha.

He is so boring. He goes on and on, in the same monotone voice. Jade Troth has actually killed my interest in this channel single handedly.

 

[Ant7t]

I loves me my random comments. Here's another one. I think, if a man wants to wear a form fitting shirt, it should be a tee shirt. A tight buttoned shirt with gaps up it's length and sleeves that if you moved a half-inch they'd rip. Not good. Guess who I'm talking about? Plus, it makes him look fat. Or, he's doing an impression of David Banner.

 

[TheManWithNoName]

He is so boring. He goes on and on, in the same monotone voice. Jade Troth has actually killed my interest in this channel single handedly.

I bet Dave Troth manages to find a seat on a train really easily.

As soon as he walks into the carriage, everyone else would walk out.........

 

[Ostrichkeeper]

Troff going on and on about the purple colour of the pearls and they are actually dyed lol.The rest weren’t dyed but the first one was.

 

[Ant7t]

I loves me my random comments. Here's another one. I think, if a man wants to wear a form fitting shirt, it should be a tee shirt. A tight buttoned shirt with gaps up it's length and sleeves that if you moved a half-inch they'd rip. Not good. Guess who I'm talking about? Plus, it makes him look fat. Or, he's doing an impression of David Banner.

Don't like quoting my own post, but he must have heard me. He's got a tee-shirt on now.

 

[Ostrichkeeper]

Troff is already starting with his clocks lol.Probably yet another few before anyone sees the price. He’s so incredibly monotonous.All to sell single sodding bluish pearls.I have seen similar before because pearls come in a myriad of colours.They aren’t unique.

 

[Ant7t]

Troff is already starting with his clocks lol.Probably yet another few before anyone sees the price. He’s so incredibly monotonous.All to sell single sodding bluish pearls.I have seen similar before because pearls come in a myriad of colours.They aren’t unique.

Perhaps someone should give him a clock and when it runs out, he shuts up. You have 5 mins to get the point over. If you don't, go forth and multiply until you learn how to use a timer on yourself.

I have said this before, somewhere, maybe in this thread, that he waffled until the 1 minute before the top of the hour before the price came in. Literally, 18.59 (as an example).

And did you pronounce that correctly?

Now he's literally talking bananas

 

[TheManWithNoName]

Dave Troth should become a sky diving instructor. He'd be fantastic at it.

There's absolutely no chance I've jump out of a plane to sky dive. I have a fear of flying and I also have a fear of heights - so I'm doomed with both of those.

However, if Dave Troth was in a plane with me and I had to spend an hour with him, I'd definitely jump out of the plane. I'd probably even consider doing it without the parachute too in desperation........

 

[Marietta]

Troff is already starting with his clocks lol.Probably yet another few before anyone sees the price. He’s so incredibly monotonous.All to sell single sodding bluish pearls.I have seen similar before because pearls come in a myriad of colours.They aren’t unique.

What's the point of all the clocks? He's probably trying to build up tension.
Note: I originally mistakenly typed 'clocks' without the 'L' - oh dear, I think it's time for my medication!

 

[leslie61]

Have I missed something? Every single time I've take a look at Gemporia over the last couple of days HE's on droning away. Even the schedule lists him as being the 'guest' presenter on almost every single hour. Are we going to be seeing Gemporia re-named as David Harry Jewels (or whatever he's called himself)? Time for me to switch off - again.

 

[Battiola73]

Dimsy Lynsey on selling (eventually) Gung-ho Agate known in the trade as the original Jade. I just can’t watch her.

Not doing well on the shopping channel front this afternoon. Dimsy Lyndsey on Gemporia, Sara Bossy Boots Davies on Hobbymaker, ingenious on IW and Smarmy Lee Clark on Style.

 

[Ant7t]

What's the point of all the clocks? He's probably trying to build up tension.
Note: I originally mistakenly typed 'clocks' without the 'L' - oh dear, I think it's time for my medication!

What's wrong with writing a male chicken?

Have I missed something? Every single time I've take a look at Gemporia over the last couple of days HE's on droning away. Even the schedule lists him as being the 'guest' presenter on almost every single hour. Are we going to be seeing Gemporia re-named as David Harry Jewels (or whatever he's called himself)? Time for me to switch off - again.

I suppose if Gemporia does go under, he can always make his name by pearl diving and using a conch shell to scoop them out of the oyster. Thereafter he can put them on a Jade platter and distribute them among the folk who know how rare everything that he finds is.

 

[Ant7t]

Guess who's on in 30 mins, as I write? Yup, The one and only Mr Monotone, his endless cLock and accompanying lecture for just one piece in the whole hour. He's obviously run out of jade, it's pearl season now.

 

[Ostrichkeeper]

Hattie has been screeching and shouting about an awful base metal crab “objet”.She’s encouraging people to add a safety pin to add it onto your pearls! Great way to break the strand I would think with the extra weight pulling on it.

 

[TheManWithNoName]

What's the point of all the clocks? He's probably trying to build up tension.
Note: I originally mistakenly typed 'clocks' without the 'L' - oh dear, I think it's time for my medication!

You needed your medication when you put the 'L' back in. You were correct the first time

 

[Marietta]

Have I missed something? Every single time I've take a look at Gemporia over the last couple of days HE's on droning away. Even the schedule lists him as being the 'guest' presenter on almost every single hour. Are we going to be seeing Gemporia re-named as David Harry Jewels (or whatever he's called himself)? Time for me to switch off - again.

More like 'Dirty Harry'

 

[Ant7t]

Somebody tell me, why is it, that regardless of the price of items sold on Gems, do they insist (some more than others) that they always compare. Just now, they, they? He, is comparing jewellery items from the 1700s as well as one from the early 1900s to what they are selling now. THEY are immaterial, probably no more "on the market". How can they compare artisanal carvings to what is done today? Skills then and skills now are completely different. 'Probably' most skills now are assisted with machinery, then: no, or highly unlikely. Even if the carving is impressive for what it is, it is not at all really comparable to things made over 100 to 300 years old. Yes, you're fed up of me and my rants over comparisons, but bug me no end they do: have you noticed?

And on a side note. He could be selling a bag of manure (so polite, aren't I?) and STILL insist of equating it to Jade. As he has done so with the MoP he's talking about. Can't say selling It's been 45 or so minutes and nowt, price-wise has shown yet.