Howard and his Camel Hump.

[Moth]

Did I? Did I? I did!

I just heard Howard come out with a classic on the tapered trousers show. He wanted to tell us how they covered "down there" smoothly, but he was about as delicate as a squad of riot police on a raid. Instead he told us about how ladies are sometimes concerned about their camel hump! He couldn't even get that right. My son said that he's only seen one tw*t on display this morning and he's presenting the show! I haven't laughed so much in ages :mysmilie_17:

No one has yet come up with a cure for his foot in mouth disease.

 

[historymystery]

:mysmilie_504:Moth, I haven't stopped laughing yet at the title of this thread (must be my mind)! Brilliant! I'd have paid good money to hear Howard saying that!!

Did I? Did I? I did!

I just heard Howard come out with a classic on the tapered trousers show. He wanted to tell us how they covered "down there" smoothly, but he was about as delicate as a squad of riot police on a raid. Instead he told us about how ladies are sometimes concerned about their camel hump! He couldn't even get that right. My son said that he's only seen one tw*t on display this morning and he's presenting the show! I haven't laughed so much in ages :mysmilie_17:

No one has yet come up with a cure for his foot in mouth disease.

 

[Price Plunge]

Weird thing is that I'm starting to tolerate (if not actually 'like') Howard; there's a pathetic vulnerability about him as if he's trying his very best and not quite succeeding. He also seems to have improved his presentation of late to the point where I'm not automatically reaching for the remote every time he appears.

As long as he doesn't talk about toilets or bowels or "personal problems" ever again he'll be fine :mysmilie_59:

 

[historymystery]

I can certainly tolerate him more than tw$$$ like Barra Boy and Pope Pete, but his lavatory and bowel obsessions are somewhat odd, to say the least.

Weird thing is that I'm starting to tolerate (if not actually 'like') Howard; there's a pathetic vulnerability about him as if he's trying his very best and not quite succeeding. He also seems to have improved his presentation of late to the point where I'm not automatically reaching for the remote every time he appears.

As long as he doesn't talk about toilets or bowels or "personal problems" ever again he'll be fine :mysmilie_59:

 

[Craftalot]

I don't think Howard's got much experience of camels, humped or otherwise. He's more of an expert on snakes.

 

[merryone]

Camel humps? He knows exactly what he's saying! I'm sure he knows it's camel toe, but imagine if he actually said that? I think quite a few complaints would come IW's way...but he wanted to say it, like a naughty little schoolboy! He knows he can get away with talking about poo, and exercises this freedom as regularly as he uses the toilet...but he really wanted to say it, so instead he said camel hump, perhaps he could get away with it, 'cos he's obviously heard the expression somewhere and doesn't know what it is and how "rude" it is...bless 'im! (Well that's what he hoped his colleagues and viewers would think!). He's a bit puerile at times, but he's not offensive like the vile barra boi and revolting Peter Simon!

 

[maymorganlondon]

Camel humps? He knows exactly what he's saying! I'm sure he knows it's camel toe, but imagine if he actually said that? I think quite a few complaints would come IW's way...but he wanted to say it, like a naughty little schoolboy! He knows he can get away with talking about poo, and exercises this freedom as regularly as he uses the toilet...but he really wanted to say it, so instead he said camel hump, perhaps he could get away with it, 'cos he's obviously heard the expression somewhere and doesn't know what it is and how "rude" it is...bless 'im! (Well that's what he hoped his colleagues and viewers would think!). He's a bit puerile at times, but he's not offensive like the vile barra boi and revolting Peter Simon!

well said! exactly what I was thinking, as it turns out... and I couldn't have put it better.

 

[user 17461]

He wants to compete with the new glittering "star" of Ideal World, Pope Peter Simon.

Is a slippery slope: next it'll be Nanty talking about how if the Anamor stretch pants were around in his poor Nan's day, they'd have held in her prolapsed "moose knuckle", or Dennice "I allegedly use all of IW's beauty gizmos and potions, but still look like an insomniac dipsomaniac ageing panto dame" Robinson graphically going on about how some polyester tent stopped her ill daughter being embarrassed by her "wizard's sleeve" showing. uke:

 

[Petespants]

Or Gollum talking about how he needs to get fit to go digging for his ring.

 

[user 17461]

Or Gollum talking about how he needs to get fit to go digging for his ring.

 

[Greg]

I don't want to hear anything of Gollum's 'ring', or his nut sacks, to be frank.

 

[user 17461]

 

[Wirral70]

I must forewarn you good people that at 9.00pm tonight there is genuine potential for a whole hour of truly car crash 'television' and that's saying something for this freak show.

We have De Knees and Poo Poo, together, shilling what Ideal World describe as 'fashion'.

You've been warned :mysmilie_59:

 

[historymystery]

Urghhhhhh no! Kill me now! Wirral, I salute you for this advance warning, and will make sure you are on the next Honours List.:bow::clapping:

I must forewarn you good people that at 9.00pm tonight there is genuine potential for a whole hour of truly car crash 'television' and that's saying something for this freak show.

We have De Knees and Poo Poo, together, shilling what Ideal World describe as 'fashion'.

You've been warned :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

Urghhhhhh no! Kill me now! Wirral, I salute you for this advance warning, and will make sure you are on the next Honours List.:bow::clapping:

I am taking my own advice and giving this potentially putrid performance a swerve but I will be interested to read viewer comments.

One wonders how Poo Poo will discuss such diverse topics as divorce and constipation during a Polyester Pantaloon sale? :mysmilie_59:

 

[historymystery]

Oh heavens, Howard's already told us how passionate he is about physical and mental health....he somehow thought of this whilst his partner in crime, Dee Knees (aka Bees Knees, aka Monotone Voice) was droning on about the 2-for-1 tops. "Life is an emotional rollercoaster", he's just told us. I'm in tears here......of laughter. He's also asked us how do we feel when we get the "whoosh?" Get the "whoosh?" Is that a euphemism for something else? What the $$$$ is he on about? Doctor - the pills, and quick.... No talk about divorce or constipation as yet, but he has mentioned the Ambassador's ball - and on that note, I will leave you, before I'm tempted to make a tasteless comment (What, me? Never!)

I am taking my own advice and giving this potentially putrid performance a swerve but I will be interested to read viewer comments.

One wonders how Poo Poo will discuss such diverse topics as divorce and constipation during a Polyester Pantaloon sale? :mysmilie_59:

 

[Muttley]

We saw one minute and Poo Poo was holding the polyester top and rocking from side to side with it. Mum complained she was getting seasick from it and we turned over! And, do proper shops still sell polyester?

 

[Wirral70]

We saw one minute and Poo Poo was holding the polyester top and rocking from side to side with it. Mum complained she was getting seasick from it and we turned over! And, do proper shops still sell polyester?

I believe proper shops do still sell Polyester Mutley but perhaps not as prolifically as Ideal World who clearly think their target audience aspires to own : -

Plastic Shoes
Plastic Clothes
Plastic Furniture

The good news is you wouldn't need Solar Panels because the static leccy generated from all this fantastic polyplastic could light up Oxford Street all Christmas long :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

Oh heavens, Howard's already told us how passionate he is about physical and mental health....he somehow thought of this whilst his partner in crime, Dee Knees (aka Bees Knees, aka Monotone Voice) was droning on about the 2-for-1 tops. "Life is an emotional rollercoaster", he's just told us. I'm in tears here......of laughter. He's also asked us how do we feel when we get the "whoosh?" Get the "whoosh?" Is that a euphemism for something else? What the $$$$ is he on about? Doctor - the pills, and quick.... No talk about divorce or constipation as yet, but he has mentioned the Ambassador's ball - and on that note, I will leave you, before I'm tempted to make a tasteless comment (What, me? Never!)

I think he might be trying to overcompensate for his obvious void of talent by behaving 'quirky'.

Of course all the goons do this one way or another to try and mask their mediocrity but Poo Poo is particularly lacking in, well, everything really :mysmilie_59:

 

[historymystery]

I couldn't cope with the whole hour either, Muttley. It was the effect of the 2 disembodied voices, Dee Knees and Howard 'Toilet Humour', that drove me to switch over. Just how many times can you listen to DK telling you to "just throw it in the washing machine" without feeling an irresistible urge to throw her in there after it? H was his usual manic self, and full of jokes - unfortunately, none of them were funny.

We saw one minute and Poo Poo was holding the polyester top and rocking from side to side with it. Mum complained she was getting seasick from it and we turned over! And, do proper shops still sell polyester?