How to Wash Yourself!

[Almerinda]

The number of flannels I have lost, really getting in there with them in my bum!!!

That would be none.

Wet flannel soap it well and make sure to wash and dry properly.

OMG! Snorted tea up my nose.

 

[ClaireKelly]

A man I knew worked in x-ray and the stories he could tell about things people pushed up.

Ones I remember, a woman with 500mls coke bottle pushed so far up herself it took an operation to get it out. A man whose girlfriend thought it would be fun to push a daisy with a stem up his penis. Now, as we know, daisy stems have little hairs on them. A and E visit.

I was a surgical nurse for years and you really had to control yourself during the bedside handover…

 

[alter ego]

I wish I hadn't read that whilst having my lunch

Well, I hope you're not eating supper for this...

On a popular mum's site several months ago a woman asked what she should do with her partner as he'd get out of the shower (out of AFTER showering mind) and leave skids on the towels

Half the answers told her to dump him but others said they'd had the same problem.

WTF? I mentioned the article (it had made a local paper's comments) to a friend who said her daughter had words with her partner about the same thing. Not just skids on towels but dropping the towels on the floor where they'd start to stink. The first time (it would have been the last time for me!) she visited his flat and used the loo she was gobsmacked at the state, picked the towels up with the intention of taking them out to his washing machine and put her hands on a skiddy

After some very firm words he pulled himself together and now they're married. She also gained a very overbearing MIL whose house is as clean as a pin. Surely this woman would have brought her son up knowing how to wash himself?

I also worked in the NHS and came across quite a few young, fit and able people who had personal hygiene issues. Not just BO but an inability to see the need to wash themselves properly. Or perhaps they didn't have selly telly to show them how.

We are definitely going backwards. Everyone went hand sanitiser bananas through the pandemic but no one bothers again. We're heading for an antibiotic resistance nightmare so it's more important than it's been in the last 80 years that we prevent infection by taking care to keep clean, especially if we suffer an injury.

I don't know about the other older members here but I remember my mum and nan talking about a man dying of blood poisoning from an infection from a small cut he had in the garden. My mum was pre-antibiotics when she sliced her finger. It was my grandfather using hot bread poultices until it healed that saved her finger and possibly her life had it been worse. I remember the word "gangrene" being whispered as few people getting it came home from hospital. If they were lucky they'd come home just missing a limb.

I also remember them talking of the relief people felt when vaccines would save lives instead of them living in fear of an outbreak that would kill children in particular. Polio still kills in poorer countries but people these days in richer countries don't know what an iron lung is.

What worries me the most, though, is that since antibiotics have been developed and used, doctors don't recognise people arriving in hospital with septicaemia. They used to give antibiotics as a matter of course when I was in the NHS. Now they hold off because the wrong one will contribute to resistance to follow the wait-and-see method that goes wrong too often.

Rant over. Suffice to say that dirty buggers are funny until they aren't.

 

[candycane]

People are dirty buggers (that's being polite). We had some people who came on holiday to our cottage and actually left in the bed and the shower. They also left some hamsters and a hoover hose in the spare room. (Ok, that last bit was a lie )

CC

 

[alter ego]

People are dirty buggers (that's being polite). We had some people who came on holiday to our cottage and actually left in the bed and the shower. They also left some hamsters and a hoover hose in the spare room. (Ok, that last bit was a lie )

CC

They took the hamsters and the hoover hose with them to use again

It's a real shame you couldn't have rubbed their noses in the mess they left. My sister was due to go away on a train journey several years ago. She needed to use the loo at the station. No lights (vandalised and not replaced) and a foul smell but when you've gotta go you've gotta go. As she pulled her trousers up they caught on the front of the toilet and the source of the smell.

WTF is wrong with people? She checked with the light on her phone as she could not believe what had happened and had to try to clean up as much as she could. It looked as if had been smeared deliberately all over the touch points as well. At least her experience had me checking toilets ever since. I don't go out now unless it's medical appointment but it's something I still do - and if reading this stops anyone else having this experience my good deed for the day will be done and I expect my punishment in due course.

 

[madaunty]

People are dirty buggers (that's being polite). We had some people who came on holiday to our cottage and actually left in the bed and the shower. They also left some hamsters and a hoover hose in the spare room. (Ok, that last bit was a lie )

CC

For a few months I cleaned an air B&B.
There was a couple of young ladies who used to rent it out every other weekend or so.
They always left the place spotless..bins emptied, sheets in washing machine, washing up done and put away etc..etc..
It then came to the owners attention, that they’d been “ahem”..selling their services on the weekends they were there.
Reported by a neighbour who had noticed a lot of gentleman visitors.
I think the owner gave up on AirB&B after that.

 

[candycane]

Most guests are lovely but those three took the biscuit. I suspect drugs may have been involved.

CC

 

[Patsy]

Excellent. I am ever grateful for the helpful instructions QVC provide on the website under “How to use”.

• Once in the shower, put a little gel in your hand
• Apply to wet skin and work into a lather
• Rinse off

I print these off and read them every now and then to remind myself. Thank goodness for QVC and I look forward to the added instructions being included in the descriptions for all-gender intimate products.

• Pour a generous amount into your hand or onto bottle brush
• Apply to nether regions and work into a lather
• Really get in there
• Rinse off

This is what we need (hope link works) …

A proper clean

A man I knew worked in x-ray and the stories he could tell about things people pushed up.

Ones I remember, a woman with 500mls coke bottle pushed so far up herself it took an operation to get it out. A man whose girlfriend thought it would be fun to push a daisy with a stem up his penis. Now, as we know, daisy stems have little hairs on them. A and E visit.