For and against gifts for Teachers.

[Silver Fox]

There was a debate on the TV this morning on that old Q selling ploy of the gift(ing!) to Teachers. Sorry all you Teachers out there ( & I have been one of you) but this is something I am totally against. A small card is fine but the pressure of some parents trying to outdo each other on the size & quality of gifts & how does that reflect on the children? Many people are in jobs and professions which we choose are paid to do where a 'thankyou' ( verbal note or card) is appreciated but leave it at that.

 

[Vienna]

I agree. There are lots of people doing valuable jobs, not just teachers and it`s nice if a child hand makes a lovely card for a teacher but often the gift ideas come from parents not the children. As you say, it`s frequently parents trying to outdo each other or curry favour.
Teachers do a great job but so do nurses, police officers, firemen, ambulance crews, etc etc etc and even your humble sales assistant or supermarket checkout person who will work until last minute Christmas eve and frequently be back at work on Boxing day. Appreciation doesn`t need to cost money and a written thank you from the pupil or a nice Christmas card should be enough.

 

[DunmowDizzy]

I think teachers gifts should be token gifts and given by the child to teach them the value of thanking others who help you. I am against collections for teachers gifts as this totally by passes the children and puts pressure on parents to give what they may not be able to afford.

A card with a message written by the child is the most important part, a small bunch of flowers or box of chocolates etc is fine as far as I'm concerned better still something home made. It's learning the value of giving and thanking that is important not the receiving tax free gifts for the teacher doing their paid jobs. A teacher that had gone above and beyond for my child I may single out for a special one off gift but certainly do not feel obliged to give generous gifts to teachers each Xmas and end of year.

 

[MinxyKitten]

I don't ever recall giving gifts to my teachers when young. I think my mum may have sent in cakes now and again, and I do remember making cards. As you say, this is far more appreciated. I teach, but I teach post 16 now which is a whole different ball game. When I taught 14-16 year olds, a few of them bought me a single bar of chocolate to say thanks, and I have to be honest, that brought a lump to my throat more than a flash gift would have! The fact that they went out on their break and spent their own money, that meant so much!

My mum always buys a nice box of chocolates or biscuits for the nurses who look after my dad when he has a hospital stay. I know they are only doing their jobs too, like teachers, but I see this as far more deserving somehow.

 

[Elphaba]

Gifts shouldn't be allowed and if there are any they should be listed and displayed on the internet.

 

[louise66]

I don't have children, but am definitely against buying presents for teachers. They are, imo, well paid for doing a job, which affords them regular holidays. Gifts are usually only bought by primary school pupils, rather the parents of, and many of those parents cannot afford to buy a present at all, or as expensive a gift. I would not see my child as the odd one out, just to adhere to my belief, as it could lead to them being ostracised, or bullied. I agree with another comment, a card is fine, but from the parents, as appreciation for what said teacher has done, for little Johnny, or whoever, throughout the year. Quite honestly, teachers should not be allowed to accept presents. Perhaps a tin of biscuits for the teacher, from the class. I work for a technology chain, and have a customer, with whom I have developed a consistent relationship, and she always looks for me. She has already told me, she is going to bring me a "little something" for Christmas. This is a gesture which, while much appreciated, is not expected, or necessary. I am happy that her experiences with my service are positive, as this gives me extreme satisfaction, that I am doing the best I can, and treating my customers with respect. I don't even know whether my manager would allow me to accept it. It is nice to be appreciated but, being rewarded for doing one's job, is not necessary.

 

[Mazza]

I am not particularly anti the giving of small gifts to people like teachers (although unheard of when I was young) but it is the scale of the suggestions which gets me when watching Q. Splitting up Yc votives and tea lights into little bags, fair enough but some of the beauty and chocolate selections I would be giving as a full present to friends or family members!

I also think in a lot of schools now it is often about the parents trying to outdo each other.

 

[Julius]

At Eton the gifts are all showcased on a table in Chambers. Beaks can only collect them after a certain date. King's scholars usually give a lower value gift, one to the House Master and one to the Dame.

 

[paulawl]

My partner is a teacher and he, along with any of his colleagues I have met, have never received presents. It is just not something that happens in the school he works in and it is not as common as you might think - but to say teachers should not be allowed to accept presents? Bah, humbug!!

I don't have children, but am definitely against buying presents for teachers. They are, imo, well paid for doing a job, which affords them regular holidays. Gifts are usually only bought by primary school pupils, rather the parents of, and many of those parents cannot afford to buy a present at all, or as expensive a gift. I would not see my child as the odd one out, just to adhere to my belief, as it could lead to them being ostracised, or bullied. I agree with another comment, a card is fine, but from the parents, as appreciation for what said teacher has done, for little Johnny, or whoever, throughout the year. Quite honestly, teachers should not be allowed to accept presents. Perhaps a tin of biscuits for the teacher, from the class. I work for a technology chain, and have a customer, with whom I have developed a consistent relationship, and she always looks for me. She has already told me, she is going to bring me a "little something" for Christmas. This is a gesture which, while much appreciated, is not expected, or necessary. I am happy that her experiences with my service are positive, as this gives me extreme satisfaction, that I am doing the best I can, and treating my customers with respect. I don't even know whether my manager would allow me to accept it. It is nice to be appreciated but, being rewarded for doing one's job, is not necessary.

 

[Julius]

At Eton it's customary to get at least two gifts - one for the House Master and one for the Dame (lady of the house who looks after health and domestic affairs). They are showcased in Chambers. Beaks take them a few days before Christmas. Some families even buy gifts for the Deputy House Master and Senior Boy. The gifts usually consist of something like a lambswool scarf, cufflinks, Italian shoes or a box of fine preserves. Alcohol - usually gin, brandy or fine wines are also appreciated. Chocolates must be dark and non mass-produced. Audrey's Chocolates in Hove used to be de rigeur!

 

[thatu]

Nurses weren't allowed to accept gifts - maybe this has changed. Teachers and other professionals should be the same. I'm against gifting (aaaaaaaargh!!) to teachers because many parents can't afford the extra expense or don't in principle want to give but are pressurized to do so. It also encourages unhealthy competition* among parents, children AND other teachers. I've taught at secondary and tertiary levels and one of my offspring is a teacher.

I'm not in any way downplaying the work teachers do - it's certainly not a 9-5 job, they have to put in a lot of work in the holidays as well, and are constantly being held to task by line managers, parents and students, which increases the pressure on a job that certainly isn't well paid for the hours they put in.

*Not all competition is unhealthy but this is.

 

[donna255]

The only time I remember giving a teacher a gift was when he was retiring, I think I was around 8 or 9 and it was a box of After Eights. To be honest I really disliked him, evil sod very quick with the cane. Mental numbers, if you were too slow to answer he caned you. My mum insisted I should bring something for him.

I never had children and wouldn't dream of giving a teacher a gift.

 

[Julius]

When I was at school a pupil called Ross offered a Twix mug to a master. The mug was chipped. In front of the whole class the master said: "Let's see how easily it breaks" and with that, threw it into the courtyard. Ross was teased mercilessly for crying in front of everyone (he would have been about 13). I felt upset by the whole incident.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

We must have been the odd ones out but in the 50's we did give gifts to teachers. A family friend was the manager of a wholesale chemist so my mum purchased a bulk lot of bath salts type of gifts which we gave to school/Sunday schiool/brownie leaders etc.

 

[Elphaba]

It would be an interesting if it could be debated at Parliament. They are going to hopefully debate on what age children can be left at home.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

This is something I was just thinking about today. My father has just entered a smallish nursing home. I was wondering if I should give the staff a token gift. I appreciate that he is paying a substantial amount to stay there but in the short time he has been there the staff have been very good.

They seem to have stacks of biscuits for all the tea breaks so unless it was a special box it would be a bit like taking coal to Newcastle.

I know they use all the hand gel which I think dries your skin so I wondered if a SMALL, but nice, hand lotion to the ladies would be appropriate? If so what about the few male assistants?

 

[Ellaaa]

I don't have children of my own yet, but I've never bought gifts for teachers, nor do I remember any other children giving them when I went to school.

As a nurse we are very fortunate that some people buy us chocolates to say thank you, but really just the words "thank you" are rewarding enough :happy:

 

[louise66]

At Eton it's customary to get at least two gifts - one for the House Master and one for the Dame (lady of the house who looks after health and domestic affairs). They are showcased in Chambers. Beaks take them a few days before Christmas. Some families even buy gifts for the Deputy House Master and Senior Boy. The gifts usually consist of something like a lambswool scarf, cufflinks, Italian shoes or a box of fine preserves. Alcohol - usually gin, brandy or fine wines are also appreciated. Chocolates must be dark and non mass-produced. Audrey's Chocolates in Hove used to be de rigeur!

I think the innate difference, Julius, is that it is a long established tradition at Eton which is not, realistically, indicative of everyday life. You don't have the possibility, that one will outdo the other, as they can all afford to fulfil the obligation. To a lot of us on here, gift giving to teachers is an alien concept, and can put financial and social pressure upon the parents and, sadly, stigmatise any child whose gift is deemed, by it's peers, as 'not good enough.' To go off topic a little, this is the reason I believe in wearing uniforms at school, to eliminate the competitiveness of who wears the most fashionable, and expensive brands.

 

[Elphaba]

I think the innate difference, Julius, is that it is a long established tradition at Eton which is not, realistically, indicative of everyday life. You don't have the possibility, that one will outdo the other, as they can all afford to fulfil the obligation. To a lot of us on here, gift giving to teachers is an alien concept, and can put financial and social pressure upon the parents and, sadly, stigmatise any child whose gift is deemed, by it's peers, as 'not good enough.' To go off topic a little, this is the reason I believe in wearing uniforms at school, to eliminate the competitiveness of who wears the most fashionable, and expensive brands.

Nonsense, not everyone who son attends Eton can afford gift. Eton has some free places to gifted boy's who otherwise couldn't afford to attend.

 

[Julius]

Nonsense, not everyone who son attends Eton can afford gift. Eton has some free places to gifted boy's who otherwise couldn't afford to attend.

Around 20% get assistance, with the poorest (about 5%) having to pay nothing at all, but believe me, there is a lot of difference between a scholar and the rest. The ghastly parents' evenings, the plummy voices, the snooty discussions centred around skiing holidays / Copenhagen. Scholars are ostracised and there is a certain amount of jealousy as scholars receive an additional sacrament in Latin upon induction.