Dyson Abi due....

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Nobody these days seems to consider giving up the good life for anyone. Not even for their own child. And I'm talking about choice, not about single parents who need to work. The accepted choice is to leave them in the care of anyone else - husband/mother/father/sister/neighbour/whoever where they will be properly looked after but nevertheless denied their mother's time.

Yeah, go on - I'm old-fashhioned/times have changed/people need more to survive these days - heard it all. That still doesn't change the fact that it's all about mememe.

Gets out umbrella to shield against torrent of abuse.
 
ERICS MUM said:
One of my nephews & partner are expecting their first baby - a boy at the end of July. His partner is called Claire, not Abi 😂😂.

The little fella will be my 3rd great nephew - I also have 3 great nieces. 6 children under 8 years old (3 sets of parents) . They cost me a fortune in toys & clothes. I love it.
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I know the feeling I have 4 grand babies. The youngest just turned One a couple of weeks ago. Love them to bits..

crystal said:
Nobody these days seems to consider giving up the good life for anyone. Not even for their own child. And I'm talking about choice, not about single parents who need to work. The accepted choice is to leave them in the care of anyone else - husband/mother/father/sister/neighbour/whoever where they will be properly looked after but nevertheless denied their mother's time.

Yeah, go on - I'm old-fashhioned/times have changed/people need more to survive these days - heard it all. That still doesn't change the fact that it's all about mememe.

Gets out umbrella to shield against torrent of abuse.
Click to expand...
I wont abuse you but its very difficult unless your minted or extremely poor not to work with a family these days. Wages can be low so thats a stress anyway. its very difficult. My Daughter Is a doctor and to work she has to pay £90.00 a day for childcare in a nursery central London. She has found a wonderful Childmnider {mother and daughter) that charges half that and they are fab! better than a Nursery.
 
The cost of living can be prohibitive for families wanting Mum to stay at home with the children. My niece & her partner pay £1200 per month (London/Essex border) to rent a small 3 bedroom house and they will outgrow it within the next 4 years. As soon as their youngest goes to nursery she will have to get a job. They don’t live a lavish live style.
 
crystal said:
Nobody these days seems to consider giving up the good life for anyone. Not even for their own child. And I'm talking about choice, not about single parents who need to work. The accepted choice is to leave them in the care of anyone else - husband/mother/father/sister/neighbour/whoever where they will be properly looked after but nevertheless denied their mother's time.

Yeah, go on - I'm old-fashhioned/times have changed/people need more to survive these days - heard it all. That still doesn't change the fact that it's all about mememe.

Gets out umbrella to shield against torrent of abuse.
Click to expand...
I would never abuse anyone, on here or elsewhere, however, I disagree with your statement. The golden period in our history when mothers stayed at home with their children never really happened & children have always been looked after by others, especially those born into wealth. For centuries women had baby after baby so enjoying time with your child didn't happen; life for the working class has always been extremely tough, what we see as childhood is a relatively modern concept & following the Industrial Revolution children started working as young as 5 or 6. Women had to work during both world wars & so their children would have had to be looked after by relatives or neighbours. Both our daughters are mums, they also have careers & juggle both sides of their lives thanks to grandmothers & nurseries - none of the children appear to have been adversely affected & I believe that we've enriched their lives; as someone who had wonderful relationships with both her grandmothers I hope that my grandchildren can say the same thing. Finally, I found it strange that you put husband in the list of 'anyone else', mothers aren't the only people capable of looking after children & some, fortunately very few, are the worst ones in a child's life.
 
crystal said:
Nobody these days seems to consider giving up the good life for anyone. Not even for their own child. And I'm talking about choice, not about single parents who need to work. The accepted choice is to leave them in the care of anyone else - husband/mother/father/sister/neighbour/whoever where they will be properly looked after but nevertheless denied their mother's time.

Yeah, go on - I'm old-fashhioned/times have changed/people need more to survive these days - heard it all. That still doesn't change the fact that it's all about mememe.

Gets out umbrella to shield against torrent of abuse.
Click to expand...
As Twi says, I too would never abuse you, or anyone on here but again, I have to disagree (I also don't want a pile-on). It's not just single parents who need to work - often both parents need to work to generate enough money when you've got kids. And this need for two wages isn't just because of greed for unnecessary consumer goods, or unrealistic expectations: everything is just so much more expensive now that when we were younger and setting up home.

We were in the fortunate position of being able to help our kids out finanically when they were first setting up home in London, but I can't even begin to imagine how they would have managed otherwise. And they have well paid, professional jobs - but equally wanted to stay in the part of town where they had grown up, which I don't think is an unreasonable expectation. Even with our help, and not just financial help, but help with childcare and the like, my son and his wife couldn't possibly survive on one wage. My DIL isn't being some money-grubbing negligent mother here - she's just trying to do the best for her family in the round, as they all are. There is also an element of my DIL having a career which she loves and is very successful in, and she shouldn't feel that it is in any way some sort of 'choice' between having a career or having a child that is being 'looked after properly'.

We don't know how lucky we were, in a lot of respects.
 
She’s certainly busy. She’s on at the moment selling the Duolab glunk. A bargain at £299.97. 😳
 
The golden period in our history when mothers stayed at home with their children never really happened & children have always been looked after by others, especially those born into wealth.

I actually think there was a golden period. During my school years in the 50s and 60s it was actually a rarity that any of my schoolfriend's mums went to work !! Most of us went home at lunchtimes for a meal, and we all went home after school to Mum and usually baby siblings !!

Those whose parents were in business, of course the Mums didn't need to work anyway, but equally it was an era when once women married they weren't expected to work. It was a time when having material possessions were not uppermost, and because everyone was in the same boat lots of 'stuff' like prams and baby clothes was handed down, or passed to neighbours and friends. Because it was just the Dad's bringing home the bacon everyone lived within their means. No foreign holidays then, it was a week's break somewhere, usually by train. Provident Cheques paid for weekly, would buy our school uniforms every year. Sweets were a treat - we never knew what the word 'obese' meant !

In my mind, that time of my childhood was absolutely brilliant, and it shows that yes my parents lived in private rented (most families rented back then), with only an income of less than £12 per week - Dad was a coal miner, with as many bills as today to pay, and NO help from the state, except something called National Assistance which most were too embarrassed to claim. Nevertheless we were clothed, well fed with presents at Christmas and birthdays, and best of all - my Mum was at home when I came home from school.
 
Hate to burst the bubble. I was a 60s child and my mum had to work, she worked in a factory and my dad worked in a factory. My Xmas presents bought from catalogue, we lived in a council house, we had no car. Co.op savings to buy school uniforms and Provident cheques. My dad was 12 years older than my mum and I remember we had to move to a much smaller house as my mum just said your dad is retiring we cannot afford the rent, this was in the 1970s. We never went on holiday, it was my aunt her husband took my granny and me for a week to the seaside as he did have a car and a better job. Hell, we didn't even have a washing machine everything done by hand.

The only girl in my class at school whose mum did not work was because her father owned a small electrical shop.
 
donna255 said:
Hate to burst the bubble. I was a 60s child and my mum had to work, she worked in a factory and my dad worked in a factory. My Xmas presents bought from catalogue, we lived in a council house, we had no car. Co.op savings to buy school uniforms and Provident cheques. My dad was 12 years older than my mum and I remember we had to move to a much smaller house as my mum just said your dad is retiring we cannot afford the rent, this was in the 1970s. We never went on holiday, it was my aunt her husband took my granny and me for a week to the seaside as he did have a car and a better job. Hell, we didn't even have a washing machine everything done by hand.

The only girl in my class at school whose mum did not work was because her father owned a small electrical shop.
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I too was a 60s child & my mum also worked, albeit part time. My parents gave me a wonderful childhood, taught me the importance of having values, how never to go to bed on an argument, introduced me to the music of Doris Day, Shirley Bassey, Neil Diamond & my dad's favourite Matt Munro plus a million other things. My maternal grandmother, who I stayed with whenever I could, provided the magic. Thinking about it all my friends also had mums who worked, as did I & our girls are 80s children.
 
In the mid 70s when my daughter was 3 and I was a single parent, I only had a cleaning job, which I worked around my daughter, and an Avon round (which I loved and I took her with me). It was the norm with other mums I knew from nursery to wait until your child reached school age (which was 5 at that time) before going back to work, so I think there was a golden period too.
 
Craftalot said:
As Twi says, I too would never abuse you, or anyone on here but again, I have to disagree (I also don't want a pile-on). It's not just single parents who need to work - often both parents need to work to generate enough money when you've got kids. And this need for two wages isn't just because of greed for unnecessary consumer goods, or unrealistic expectations: everything is just so much more expensive now that when we were younger and setting up home.

We were in the fortunate position of being able to help our kids out finanically when they were first setting up home in London, but I can't even begin to imagine how they would have managed otherwise. And they have well paid, professional jobs - but equally wanted to stay in the part of town where they had grown up, which I don't think is an unreasonable expectation. Even with our help, and not just financial help, but help with childcare and the like, my son and his wife couldn't possibly survive on one wage. My DIL isn't being some money-grubbing negligent mother here - she's just trying to do the best for her family in the round, as they all are. There is also an element of my DIL having a career which she loves and is very successful in, and she shouldn't feel that it is in any way some sort of 'choice' between having a career or having a child that is being 'looked after properly'.

We don't know how lucky we were, in a lot of respects.
Click to expand...
My parents were also in the fortunate position of being able to help me set up home, but they didn't (financially). They did help with the move & some 2nd hand white goods - I loved them! To be able to afford a home, we bought an old place (grotty indoors - mouldy kitchen, filthy carpet, avocado bathroom, ) ripped out all the grot, kitchen made do with boxes. We grafted & did the work mostly ourselves, extended mortgage for re wires, damp, etc etc. We both had jobs, just had to manage. It's the best feeling knowing that we did it alone, when everyone else I know has 'help' (deposit etc) & then some, & all the latest fittings.
One of my best Christmases was with the 2nd hand Tricity Bendix cooker & the plazzy garden chairs in the lounge, Grandads old Army camp bed in the spare room for Mom & Dad, & friends on the lounge floor. I can't imagine many people would do that now.
 
loveallthingsitalian said:
She’s one of those mummy’s (too common to be yummy) who have false nails so long I just dont understand how she does anything with a small child and not rip the poor thing to pieces.
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Forgive me please for what I am about to say, but I don't know of any other way, to describe to you what I mean, but she looks like a 'chav' dressed up in 'drag'!
 
yorkrose26 said:
Forgive me please for what I am about to say, but I don't know of any other way, to describe to you what I mean, but she looks like a 'chav' dressed up in 'drag'!
Click to expand...
Said it before, but you can't polish a turd.

I think that turd's had some sticking & sewing done, IYKWIM.

She's not very intelligent either.
 

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