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merryone

Registered Shopper
Joined
Jun 24, 2008
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6,545
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brighton
Please can you make the cr&p go away!!!!!

I have got a toy frog on my bed, I like frogs see, and have done since childhood. Apart from the aforementioned toy frog on the bed, I have a frog pendant around my neck.
From that information a well meaning friend of the family who has a god given knack of finding useful things in rubbish skips, jumble sales, boot fairs or simply dumped on the side of the pavement, has bestowed me with all manner of froggy paraphenalia from around the county! When it started, it was ok, as he presented me with a few quite nice tasteful ornaments in the shape of frogs and strategically placed around my flat, they look quite nice. However, the joke's well and truly over now. I don't know whether this is luck or judgement..but the last umpteen items he has foisted upon me have been horrendous! I came in from work late one evening and as the light was on the front room I didn't turn the hallway light on, if I had I would have noticed a humungus stone frog sitting at the top of my stairs and I wouldn't have tripped over it and bashed my shin! Ouch! More recently I returned home from work, and this time I wish I'd left the light off, 'cause sitting on the shelf in my hallway alongside my very nice metal sculpture of a couple dancing and a dainty tea light holder was this acid green pile of cartoon frogs with goggly eyes, it was clearly a moneybox in its day due to the slit in the top, the bung at the bottom however was missing, so pretty useless in all, not only that it wasn't in the best of condition either! I have had enough!!!!!!!

It's not that he lets himself in, but when he comes round to visit OH on his days off, he'll tend to leave something awful like this behind. I've been throwing most of it out tbh, but somewhere where it can't be found and returned to me!

I know, I know it's the thought that counts...but why do people think that other people want their houses full of crap and clutter! We were off on holiday recently and he overheard me talking to OH about buying some new luggage, he cut in and said don't bother I found this wonderful case I'll bring it round, I said no don't worry, you keep it, you found it...he said look when do I ever go on holiday? and of course next time he arrived he was armed with this scuzzy looking case, that I'd be too frightened to open....I bunged it up in the loft and went out and bought a decent set of luggage.

Is it just me this happens to?
 
your friend sounds to me like someone who is insecure and needs to be needed merryone - I don't really know how you stop him being so "helpful" without hurting his feelings a lot...maybe just bung the rest of it up in the loft, or out of the back door after a short period of time having it on display when he visits!
 
Enough is enough & you've got to say that.
You can do it in a non-aggressive way.
Don't pussyfoot around, you have to look him in the eye when you say it and mean it.
"Don't bring anymore of your finds around Bob/Jack I really don't want them."
If he ignores you & brings something, put it right back in his hands and say, "No thank you."
If he brings something while you are not there, give it back to him next time you see him.

My great niece tried to off load all her soft toys on us. I declined when the second bin bag arrived and she pulled a face and said, "You must take them! I love them too much to throw them out!"
I didn't love them & they went home with her.
 
I know what you're saying...I think with the soft toys I'd have suggested they were donated to a charity of some sort. I think it would hurt his feelings, but I am going to be blunt, maybe not quite as blunt as minim suggests. I'll probably try and say look I know you're trying to be nice and I do appreciate it, but I've got so much stuff in my house at the minute I'd appreciate a (permanent) break from all the "gifts" you are giving me...that's not to say if there's a nice gold necklace you wanna buy me for xmas that I don't want it lol!
 
You know this guy best merryone so only you can handle him.
The only comment I would make is he finds joy in giving & you are offering a trapdoor -

"Look I know you're trying to be nice and I do appreciate it, but I've got so much stuff in my house at the minute I'd appreciate a (permanent) break from all the "gifts" you are giving me...that's not to say if there's a nice gold necklace you wanna buy me for xmas that I don't want it lol!
 
Wait 'til you reach my age Merryone. My life is just one big clutter of lovingly given knick-knacks. I made the mistake of saying out loud "oh that's cute" about a "Just the Right Shoe". Now I have a huge selection of various quality taking up valuable space on my bookshelves, while my books are stacked on the floor. I treated myself to a couple of miniature clocks .............., my sister bought me one exceptionally beautiful glass paperweight and now ............., perfume bottles ..........., and useless aids for the disabled/elderly bought out of those little catalogues that come through the door. Every year I get "what do you want for Christmas/birthday?" Do I ever get it? Heck as like - "oh that's too practical, I want to buy you something personal". Personal to whom I ask myself.

I've now reached an age when useful and practical is nice. Knick-knacks are just something else collecting dust, and my clothing is highly specialised. Try getting an M&S T-shirt or jumpy over a plastic vest. Give me a toy for me scooter or some comfy slippers and I'll love you forever. One of the best gifts I ever received was an electronic hooter that made the sound of a motor bike revving up. Huge fun in Sainsbury's - just let anyone dare say "why do they have to come out at this time" and I'd have had 'em from the rear. I've scoured the net and can't find another - it sadly passed away a couple of years ago now, probably from overuse.

My neighbour is also a very dear friend, but my goodness does she just love those boot and jumble sales, and doesn't she always have to come home with a little "treat" for me. Lord love 'er, but it's always plastic junk, but what can you do when someone thinks they've found the thing that's perfect for you and they're so pleased with it. Ah well, maybe some day one of mine will win the lottery and buy me the bestest ring in the whole world. xxxxxxxxxx
 

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