Do we need a reminder?

[Anna]

Thank you, you're very kind & I hope you & all you love stay safe I completely lost it this morning when I said to my husband that this is the worst time of her life & nobody has hugged her or even just touched her hand.

Ah twilight, that just makes me sadder. Touch is something that can make such a difference. Something that is freely given but means so much.
I am keeping away from my mum as much as I can and just drop off food every week. As she had Alzheimer's she finds it hard to understand why I can't have a cup of tea with her at the moment. I don't want to give her the virus, and neither do I want to pass it on to her carers who might then pass it on to others. The gift of time is a gift I can't give at the moment, but I cling onto the hope that a vaccine will be found soon. What sad times we live in.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

The hardest thing I have thought is people dying on their own, my only hope is that at the final stages they arent aware of what is happening.

I know nurses and carers have said they stay with them but I wonder in reality can they really do this when they are stretched beyond human endurance and have to bring in dental students to take up the slack.

 

[SusieSue]

Yesterday was the funeral of the mother of a good friend.

My friend used to visit her mum twice week and they would chat my friend at the gate her mum at the door.

A month ago she found her mum collapsed, she'd had a stroke.

It's the practicalities of arranging a funeral that was so very difficult, who to invite as the numbers allowed are restricted was just for starters.

Clearing her mum's property when no-one is taking donations, my dining room is full of boxes, her and her husband would leave them at the end of my drive I brought them into the house.

She bought a sheltered housing place for her mum so it needs to go on the market ASAP as she still has to pay high service charges even though it's empty but the practicalities of that too are horrendous.

She is emotionally and physically exhausted and I can't even give her a hug so yesterday I went and cleaned her mum's place from top to bottom in the hope she can find an estate agent then it's ready to view, it's the best I could offer

Such very sad times

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

Susie that is such a nice and totally practical thing to do

 

[Twilight]

Yesterday was the funeral of the mother of a good friend.

My friend used to visit her mum twice week and they would chat my friend at the gate her mum at the door.

A month ago she found her mum collapsed, she'd had a stroke.

It's the practicalities of arranging a funeral that was so very difficult, who to invite as the numbers allowed are restricted was just for starters.

Clearing her mum's property when no-one is taking donations, my dining room is full of boxes, her and her husband would leave them at the end of my drive I brought them into the house.

She bought a sheltered housing place for her mum so it needs to go on the market ASAP as she still has to pay high service charges even though it's empty but the practicalities of that too are horrendous.

She is emotionally and physically exhausted and I can't even give her a hug so yesterday I went and cleaned her mum's place from top to bottom in the hope she can find an estate agent then it's ready to view, it's the best I could offer

Such very sad times

What you did was full of love & consideration, a true friend.

 

[maymorganlondon]

The hardest thing I have thought is people dying on their own, my only hope is that at the final stages they arent aware of what is happening.

I know nurses and carers have said they stay with them but I wonder in reality can they really do this when they are stretched beyond human endurance and have to bring in dental students to take up the slack.

Someone said that today on a news broadcast, and I cried. I know we take comfort from the precious time together, so being denied that is very poignant.

 

[maymorganlondon]

Yesterday was the funeral of the mother of a good friend.

My friend used to visit her mum twice week and they would chat my friend at the gate her mum at the door.

A month ago she found her mum collapsed, she'd had a stroke.

It's the practicalities of arranging a funeral that was so very difficult, who to invite as the numbers allowed are restricted was just for starters.

Clearing her mum's property when no-one is taking donations, my dining room is full of boxes, her and her husband would leave them at the end of my drive I brought them into the house.

She bought a sheltered housing place for her mum so it needs to go on the market ASAP as she still has to pay high service charges even though it's empty but the practicalities of that too are horrendous.

She is emotionally and physically exhausted and I can't even give her a hug so yesterday I went and cleaned her mum's place from top to bottom in the hope she can find an estate agent then it's ready to view, it's the best I could offer

Such very sad times

What a fantastically practical and caring gesture. I'm sure it meant the world to your friend.

 

[maymorganlondon]

I actually saw this one happen, and I do think it was a genuine mistake on JK's part to be fair.

I saw it too, and I agree that it seemed a genuine e mistake.

 

[maymorganlondon]

One of our closest friends died yesterday, his heart operation was cancelled when we went under house arrest & they were concerned he wouldn't survive many weeks without it being done. Their daughter & her family can't get back from the US & so his wife was on her own. We have the same gp & he stayed with her for some time & asked if there was anyone she could have come to stay with her, she told me she was amazed to hear him say this but he said she's been shielding for so long she's 'pure' & that most people who have spent the last seven weeks just going out for walks & doing their shopping are as well. He then talked about how many of his patients who needed operations or treatment have died or had their lives severely affected by the NHS having covid-19 short-sight. I wanted her to stay with us but she said it wasn't fair because she has a dog & we have our cat. She ended our call saying at least the dog would like being able to go out for a walk rather than just running around their garden so we're going to have catch ups on our drives & if it's warm enough we'll put out socially distanced chairs & G&Ts. Bless both of them.

My condolences, Twilight. When they look at the death toll from C-19, I hope they remember to count the lost lives of those denied life-saving treatments due to the pandemic, and not just those infected.

 

[maymorganlondon]

Yes, it's very easy to judge people under extreme stress, not so easy to find words of sympathy. Surely though, they weren't pressurised into appearing on telly after such a traumatic time? Everyone should be allowed time for reflection and help with the grieving process but nobody should be blamed for doing what was right for them at the time, whether it was going back to work early or taking time off.

Totally agree with you. I think everyone has their own best way of dealing with grief or trauma. Some need the alone time and some don't. The one thing everyone needs is to know their choice is respected, and that you are there if they need support of time for a cuppa and a chat, or to do something different... more challenging right now, of course.

 

[Twilight]

My condolences, Twilight. When they look at the death toll from C-19, I hope they remember to count the lost lives of those denied life-saving treatments due to the pandemic, and not just those infected.

Thank you

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

I have a friend who is fairly senior management in our hospital and she has been saying from the start that the figures are higher than reported as for quite a long time care home and own home deaths were not included and that unless the death certificate actually said it was the cause of death it wasn’t counted.

 

[ohnonotshoppingagain]

I think how we see CS is how she is, but less so possibly in 'real' life. However, I can't stand to watch or listen, so I tend to switch to other things, mainly my IPAD and my groups. I hate a grown woman who still calls her mother 'mummy' what an idiot and as said at the start a five year old should call a mother mummy and dad, daddy for gawd's sake.

 

[Loveinamist]

I have a friend who is fairly senior management in our hospital and she has been saying from the start that the figures are higher than reported as for quite a long time care home and own home deaths were not included and that unless the death certificate actually said it was the cause of death it wasn’t counted.

Report was also saying that when all figures are in in due course we won’t necessarily have the highest death toll in Europe because the rest of the world are only counting hospital deaths at the moment.

 

[Dream Girl]

The hardest thing I have thought is people dying on their own, my only hope is that at the final stages they arent aware of what is happening.

I know nurses and carers have said they stay with them but I wonder in reality can they really do this when they are stretched beyond human endurance and have to bring in dental students to take up the slack.

When I was nursing if we always stayed with a patient.
And now my niece a staff nurse in ICU, they stay holding a patients hand.
Recently they have done their best to have next of kin present.
That happened to a friend of my husband who’s wife was present, whilst he passed away.

 

[loveallthingsitalian]

When I was nursing if we always stayed with a patient.
And now my niece a staff nurse in ICU, they stay holding a patients hand.
Recently they have done their best to have next of kin present.
That happened to a friend of my husband who’s wife was present, whilst he passed away.

Good to know that this does happen

 

[Twilight]

My brother in law passed away at home & his last word was "wonderful". My sister was a young widow with two small boys & she's held onto that word for years.

 

[SisterBliss]

I think how we see CS is how she is, but less so possibly in 'real' life. However, I can't stand to watch or listen, so I tend to switch to other things, mainly my IPAD and my groups. I hate a grown woman who still calls her mother 'mummy' what an idiot and as said at the start a five year old should call a mother mummy and dad, daddy for gawd's sake.

It's a class thing. So the fact that she is, in fact doing it to appear 'posh' makes the behaviour even worse to me. She is no more 'posh' than I am the Queen Mother. Fecking Eejit.

 

[Twilight]

It's a class thing. So the fact that she is, in fact doing it to appear 'posh' makes the behaviour even worse to me. She is no more 'posh' than I am the Queen Mother. Fecking Eejit.

Don't hold back Sissy, tell us what you really think of ickle Claire

 

[SisterBliss]

Don't hold back Sissy, tell us what you really think of ickle Claire

She is totally my worst presenter (surprised?)

In fact, she makes the rest of them seem, dare I say it tolerable.

Can't stand fakers/pretenders/delusions of self grandeur, & I'm not the best at keeping quiet about it (much to Mr B's dismay) - albeit in an unassuming manner. Viva my bullshit detector. Very rarely lets me down.