Maybe she's aiming to receive a nomination for the "Bad Sex Awards" that are held annually in association with The English Review? I must admit my favourite nomination ever was "Winkler" by Giles Coren back in 2005. I have followed the awards for years and even had a go at writing such passages myself!
Debbie Flint The Novelist
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dimples1974
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LOL, I was just going to say, I rememeber the days when Birkenstock took pride of place on QVC .
Debbie Flint is a woman of immense talent, a modern day literary genius. Her powerful command of the English language knows no bounds. Her ability to tell stories in an original, fresh, frank and lively way enables her to make a direct connection with the reader in a way Shakespeare could never do. Her rich prose is literally peppered with spice. Every line contains a poignant vignette that is full of wit. Her imaginative descriptions engage and place the reader at the very heart of the action. Move over Jane Austen and D.H Lawrence. Ms Flint's here to steal your thunder.
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T
thatu
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Obviously those people who buy her books expecting to find sexy, hot, racy and badly-written chiclit will be sorely disappointed. I'm sure Julius is among the millions who fully support Ms Flint's usage of our money* to promote her books on QVC.
*profits from our purchases pays her salary
*profits from our purchases pays her salary
The following morning Patricia awoke to the sensation of the bristles of Clive’s chin nuzzling in her armpit. She then felt his fingertips fondling her nether regions. He kissed her neck all the way up and then on the lips. She arched her back like a cat, pulling away from him.
“That tickles! Come on Clive or we’ll miss the breakfast sitting.”
“I’d rather have you for breakfast.”
“You had me for dinner! Now come on, I’m starving.”
She slid on some white trousers and a lilac camisole and sprayed on her morning perfume “Poison” by Christian Dior. In the evenings she would wear “Musk After Dusk” by Oscar de la Renta.
They both stole down to the breakfast room. Patricia nodded in acknowledgement of the other guests while Clive sheepishly avoided eye contact. He wondered if any of them had heard the noises last night, his whimpering and groanings followed by the ecstatic roar as he climaxed.
Patricia was selecting some apricots from a basket. “They know,” said Clive, under his breath.
“What? That we made love last night?” said Patricia at normal volume, making Clive embarrassed.
“Shhhhhhhhhh!”
“Well tonight we can read the Reader's Digest!”
Patricia ate her muesli and fruits in silence while Clive ate three croissants. Then they retreated back to the cabin for round 2.
“That tickles! Come on Clive or we’ll miss the breakfast sitting.”
“I’d rather have you for breakfast.”
“You had me for dinner! Now come on, I’m starving.”
She slid on some white trousers and a lilac camisole and sprayed on her morning perfume “Poison” by Christian Dior. In the evenings she would wear “Musk After Dusk” by Oscar de la Renta.
They both stole down to the breakfast room. Patricia nodded in acknowledgement of the other guests while Clive sheepishly avoided eye contact. He wondered if any of them had heard the noises last night, his whimpering and groanings followed by the ecstatic roar as he climaxed.
Patricia was selecting some apricots from a basket. “They know,” said Clive, under his breath.
“What? That we made love last night?” said Patricia at normal volume, making Clive embarrassed.
“Shhhhhhhhhh!”
“Well tonight we can read the Reader's Digest!”
Patricia ate her muesli and fruits in silence while Clive ate three croissants. Then they retreated back to the cabin for round 2.
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Awkward Annie
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Is this really from Debbie's book? If it is we can only imagine what goes on at all those seminars she's always going to!!
loveallthingsitalian
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AA, your name is what my mum used to call me!
Come on Julius , what do you reckon goes on at her writers weekends?
Come on Julius , what do you reckon goes on at her writers weekends?
Awkward Annie
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Me too that's why I chose it , but back to poor Debs I think she's been without a man too long, her imagination's running riot:mysmilie_17: and haven't Patricia & Clive got some energy! My god they're at it like rabbits, I wish I had as much ( energy that is!) although .....:envy:
Oh my God:
Clive’s manhood was thick hard and straight and not at all deformed. In some ways it resembled a courgette, for it had a good girth to it and was ever so slightly more bulbous at the end. For Patricia it was the girth that counted, not length. Her previous boyfriend’s had resembled a withered parsnip so she breathed a huge sigh of relief when Clive dropped his pants for the first time, his love javelin springing up to attention without the assistance of Viagra. For Patricia a good penis was an important quality in a man. That was one thing that separated man from woman. A woman’s sex organs are hidden deep inside, like an uncharted territory. No treasure map there to say “x marks the spot.” You just have to find it! And Clive found it, again and again and again and again. Ping! Ping! Ping! Clive was so much better than a vibrator – and he never ran out of batteries. Just 30 minutes for a recharge and he was good to go all over again.
Patricia loved being a woman. It was so much easier to manipulate a man. Men were just basic creatures whose thoughts and emotions were there for all to see. Men cannot fake pleasure for it would be all too obvious, the end product of their lust conspicuous by its absence.
Clive’s manhood was thick hard and straight and not at all deformed. In some ways it resembled a courgette, for it had a good girth to it and was ever so slightly more bulbous at the end. For Patricia it was the girth that counted, not length. Her previous boyfriend’s had resembled a withered parsnip so she breathed a huge sigh of relief when Clive dropped his pants for the first time, his love javelin springing up to attention without the assistance of Viagra. For Patricia a good penis was an important quality in a man. That was one thing that separated man from woman. A woman’s sex organs are hidden deep inside, like an uncharted territory. No treasure map there to say “x marks the spot.” You just have to find it! And Clive found it, again and again and again and again. Ping! Ping! Ping! Clive was so much better than a vibrator – and he never ran out of batteries. Just 30 minutes for a recharge and he was good to go all over again.
Patricia loved being a woman. It was so much easier to manipulate a man. Men were just basic creatures whose thoughts and emotions were there for all to see. Men cannot fake pleasure for it would be all too obvious, the end product of their lust conspicuous by its absence.
Awkward Annie
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Now I'm SURE you're having us on!!
Kathy
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Anything I do, has to inspire me, and have a purpose. When I read, it has to be factual and, if I watch tv, it is the same. I have to learn something, or I don't see the point. Consequently, romantic fiction is not appealing to me at all, and I have never read any of her novels. I would quite like to write a book, but it would be focused on actual events.
Isn't Julia writing another book, a novel I think?
Isn't Julia writing another book, a novel I think?
I totally agree with you, Louise. I really HATED "A" level English when I had to read some awful books and write essays on the characters etc as though they were real people.
I still remember those boring texts - E.M Forster "A Room With a View," Shakespeare's "Hamlet and Measure for Measure" and Dickens's "Great Expectations."
The only work of fiction I ever read and enjoyed was Alan Bennett's "Talking Heads." I thought those were superbly written.
Reading fiction is fine if you are learning a language and wish to become acquainted with cultures / styles / nuance but honestly.... despite not being very well-read I have still have an ability to write in all styles! lol
loveallthingsitalian
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Well I for one believe that ANY form of reading is good. I am amazed how few people read anything at all, they buy a book for their summer holidays and don't even manage that.
I read all sorts, including M&B in my early days, but after a day at work like a good crime novel (Scandie if possible) and am never without at least one book on the go.
I don't believe in being a reading snob as long as you read something and appreciate it then whatever floats your boat.
I read all sorts, including M&B in my early days, but after a day at work like a good crime novel (Scandie if possible) and am never without at least one book on the go.
I don't believe in being a reading snob as long as you read something and appreciate it then whatever floats your boat.
Do you like Debbie's novel?
T
thatu
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I agree, lita. I like reading biographies and travel books, but some folks don't, so whatever floats your boat, as you say. Julius, I totally agree about English degrees. It seems the universities don't know how to introduce any other form of written English (or any language, for that matter) into the syllabus so stick with either English literature or English language and I can't help but feel that they're missing a trick. But we digress....
How did we get from Debbie Flint to English literature degrees, for goodness sake? It's hardly a natural progression! Or maybe her ... er ... style of ... er ... writing(?) could come under the heading "comparative literature". Yes?
How did we get from Debbie Flint to English literature degrees, for goodness sake? It's hardly a natural progression! Or maybe her ... er ... style of ... er ... writing(?) could come under the heading "comparative literature". Yes?
But don't you think Debbie's novel is well written?
