Bingo night -To share or not to share?

[merryone]

Me and a mate used to go to Bingo in our local church hall where there was a mixture of cash prizes and food prizes..so one week you could win a packet of pasta, a fiver, a tenner and if you're lucky the £25 jackpot game...then the hall was refurbished and rented out to various organisations and bingo stopped. We decided to go to a "proper" bingo hall..literally first game she won £20 for a line, and a few games later I won £100 which was exactly what I needed to cover an unexpected expense I had. We went fairly regularly but won the odd tenner, twenty here and there. She since moved away, so sadly I don't see her any more..So no more bingo.

A while later I suggested to a group of workmates that we went to bingo sometime, and they liked the idea..Was really looking forward to it, a bit of fun, a chat and possibly win a few quid. Bought our books and sat down, and one of them piped up "ok, if anyone wins we'll share the money" I felt like I'd been hit in the face with a wet fish! That's what we do when I go with my family...everyone else agreed (if it was through gritted teeth it didn't show) so I reluctantly nodded. We didn't win anything that day..but quite frankly should one of the others won and not me, I'd be genuinely happy for them, a bit envious perhaps and most certainly wouldn't want to take away from their winnings. Yes, ok in the rare event of my winning a life changing amount of money, then I would certainly be happy to bung a few grand in my bingo buddies' direction, and I do that without hesitation but I sure as hell wouldn't want to split it equally 4 or how ever many ways,nor would I expect anyone else to. I wouldn't expect or think badly of them if they didn't give away any of the money, but would accept an amount if they offered it to me. I would refuse an equal share though..To me it's their winnings, their luck that bestowed it upon them....Good for them, I'm happy for them.

On another work mate bingo trip I won £60, not a lot but it would've helped that month for sure..ended up with £15, and I was the only winner! Yup ok, someone else could've won also so potentially I could've won more, but to me this arrangement puts a proper dampener on things. Play for yourself, and if you want to donate some of your winnings to your mates that's up to you, but if you don't, you won't be judged. If someone offered me a share of their £60 win, I'd have refused to take it!

I've read that this sort of thing can get quite nasty...Not been to bingo for ages now, but I think I'd rather go with hubby (far less complicated) sadly he hates it!

Share or not?

 

[stratobuddy]

It's a similar quandary with restaurant bills when people share the bill.

I don't go for anything expensive, usually only have just the main course, and never want wine with the meal.

But others may have 3 expensive courses and lots of wine. So I always feel reluctant to split the bill. Or should I just eat and drink more, even though I don't want to?

And another quandary. Sometimes we order an Indian or Chinese takeaway. I spend ages selecting exactly what I would like, then when it arrives, everyone just shares stuff, so I hardly get any of my carefully chosen dish, and end up with many dishes I don't like, or just miss out on these and end up feeling hungry!

Comments?

 

[merryone]

It's a similar quandary with restaurant bills when people share the bill.

I don't go for anything expensive, usually only have just the main course, and never want wine with the meal.

But others may have 3 expensive courses and lots of wine. So I always feel reluctant to split the bill. Or should I just eat and drink more, even though I don't want to?

And another quandary. Sometimes we order an Indian or Chinese takeaway. I spend ages selecting exactly what I would like, then when it arrives, everyone just shares stuff, so I hardly get any of my carefully chosen dish, and end up with many dishes I don't like, or just miss out on these and end up feeling hungry!

Comments?

Not so bad when it's a takeaway..if it's a small group especially of family with us usually one person will treat everybody and take it in turns so no quibbling and obviously a lot cheaper than going out for a restaurant meal. Group of friends pick what you want and put your money in beforehand and there's no problem, you pay for what you ordered. The biggest one is when a large group goes out for a restaurant meal, some drink wine and some have soft drinks, some have pick the most expensive thing on the menu, and then for convenience and speed etc the bill will arrive and it's split 12 ways...so you end up paying the same amount of money for your plate of pasta and salad, glass of wine and dollop of icecream as the person who's had a starter, followed by sirloin steak with all the trimmings, a chocolate brownie knickerbocker glory and wine to boot. Very awkward indeed. I don't mind faffing with restaurant bills if it means not having to pay for someone else's extravagant tastes,and I'm sure restaurant staff are more than used to having to split bills..but it can make you feel a bit awkward if everybody seems happy to split the bill equally...I just can't afford to do so!
Oh and actually sharing the takeaway...tricky..Think you'd probably have to be upfront and say I hope you don't mind but what I've ordered is the only thing I like so I hope you don't mind if I just stick to that!

 

[stratobuddy]

The trouble with this thread is that only VIPs can see it, so I don't expect much response

 

[pyjama princess]

I would never agree to splitting a restaurant bill. I don't drink alcohol and never have a starter. I have very limited tastes in food so more often than not end up with fish and chips. I would stand my ground and put my point over that my individual bill comes nowhere near everybody else's.
One Christmas my team at work went for a meal with our boss (there were 6 of us). I left early because I didn't enjoy my meal and was hungry and everyone else were getting more and more drunk. The next day in work I was asked for £5 to buy the boss a present as a thank you for paying for all the drinks the night before (we'd all paid for our own meals but not the drinks). I refused and some of my colleagues were not impressed. I said I'd happily pay the cost of my one glass of coke but I wasn't giving anymore. Our deputy manager backed me up and the others dropped it. As it was I intensely disliked our boss so I wasn't going to give towards a present for her anyway.
I've never played bingo in a group - what happens if one of the group isn't there one night and a group member wins a large amount? Would the absentee expect a share?

 

[stratobuddy]

When premium bonds first came out, they cost £1 but that was a lot of money then (1/4 of my weekly wage).

So we had a syndicate of 8 and paid 2/6d each week to buy 1 bond. Each one was bought in the name of one of the syndicate, and the next week someone else, etc, so after 8 weeks we each had a bond.

The agreement was that if anyone won, it would be shared equally with the others, regardless of who's bond it was. But in many years we never won anything. I still have my bonds, and none of them have ever won, even after 1/2 century!

 

[donna255]

A friend likes bingo(not a fan myself but my Mum really enjoyed it), so a neighbour and her went together. They had an agreement to split winnings if either won, so a few £60 or even £100 and split-half each. Then one night the neighbour won £2000! My friend was really excited and then the neighbour gave my friend £20 and that was it. Turned nasty very quickly they stopped speaking to each other and the neighbour moved away.

 

[merryone]

I think the answer with meals in large groups is to agree to pay cash and keep a tally of how much your bill comes to including wine, so at the end if you've had £30's worth of food that's how much you put in, and then when the money's gathered..then maybe everybody pop in an extra quid for a tip. When it's split 12 ways or what have you, someone always misses out, and if people are paying by cards, and some cash it can be a bit messy.

With bingo..our group would only split the cash between the people who are actually there playing, and sometimes it's not exactly the same group, so no one would expect a share of the winnings if they didn't come. I feel a bit embarrassed but I never even knew that this practice was even a thing, so when I got there and my work mate piped up about splitting all the winnings equally, it put a dampener on it for me, 'cause immediately I recognised the potential for things turning nasty! The way I see it is that if one of us, or even two of us come away with more money than they started, then great. If one of my mates won £50 it could pay off a bill, get them that dress they had their eye on etc...wheras £12.50 won't really help anyone so what's the point?
A decent win £100 plus can do even more for the winner, so I don't want to sit there with my hand out. If they win enough to pay their mortgage off - fantastic! I don't want to turn someone's life changing win into a non life changing win, nor do I want anyone to do that to me. Having said that I'd have no qualms about offering my friends some of the money if I had more than I needed, and I'd be happy enough to receive anything they offered me. Might feel a bit insulted if they gave me a tenner out of £250k win, and would be tempted to tell them to keep it, but like I say I'd sooner they kept the money, enjoyed it and didn't have to feel they "owe" anyone anything! This sharing agreement has taken the edge of me going to bingo with a group of mates, even though it's fun if you don't win anything!

It has also dawned on me that by refusing to take my share of someone else's winnings then it might shame the others into doing the same, which could also be awkward...Let's face it any activity with groups of people has potential for awkwardness and bad feeling, especially when money's involved. Bring back church hall bingo, or do it online at home!

 

[mediastar]

When a friend who wasn't drinking (driving) came out with another friend and me we also had olives and a bottle of wine and didn't share either booze or olives, we agreed they shouldn't contribute to those and we shared the food bill only. However, when the other friend and I met up with this non-sharing "friend" at the cafe counter on another occasion and I said to my sharing wine and olives friend, who did drive and had driven me out, "you drove i will get your drink and cake" let me make it clear i did not offer to get anyone else a drink, the non-sharing "friend" ordered their drink and thanked me leaving me with their bill!!! I haven't spoken to them since that day. So, yes, it can get awkward and unpleasant i agree. Driving friend and I used to have nights in with food and wine, I occasionally bought a lotto on my way we would agree to split winnings on that only! I don't think I would agree to share winnings on bingo, I would get the drinks in if it was a large enough win,of course! Anyway,how are you going to split say £15 between 8 folks???

 

[merryone]

I realise that this may sound like I'm a tight fisted beggar, but I'm not a big fan of buying rounds in pubs either. Again it's one of those things when you go out in a group that can be messy if everybody stands at the bar ordering their drinks separately, or someone collects all the cash and goes up and puts the order in, then has to faff around with the change. A lot easier when one person says "My round, takes the orders then goes up to the bar and pays for the lot"...This normally works out that you ended spending far more than you can afford, drinking far more than you intended to..Hence I prefer sharing a bottle (or two) indoors with friends, or having a drink with just one other person rather than a group...Even with something as simple as buying a round of drinks can have the potential to turn nasty...."Ooh funny that she always pops to the ladies room when the drinks are getting low, funny how she chooses an expensive drink when it's not her turn etc etc"

Go for a drink with one other person, and split the cost of a bottle, or say I'll buy these, you get the next and keep it to a couple of drinks, or even order separately. Mediastar, your little escapade is a typical example of this kind of misunderstanding that can happen when you go out with more than one other person...she probably thought because you shouted your friend her coffee and cake, that it wouldn't have hurt to pay for hers as well, but then had you done that she'd have probably felt that she owes you one, and thus the chain goes on. Just awkward..I'm sure most of us haven't got money to burn, I certainly haven't...and lets face it, it's nice to enjoy a little treat with a friend or friends occassionally but agree to pay your own way, otherwise it can turn into an expensive/awkward experience..Order what you want and pay for it yourself and you can't go wrong!