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Are people buying these £9.99 stuffed snowmen in twos, Rambo? We haven’t sold one, Master… Right? People multi-buying in huge numbers… Buy one as a surrogate companion, okay? Maybe your partner has left you for man of the male persuasion, okay? Cuddle this stuffed Santa to forget, Right? Give to...

Marvellous exclusive presentation this afternoon of the great Japanese milliner Iway Kode’s new Road Traffic Collection. To be worn ideally with a tight or a shoe…Or perhaps a trouser…

Welcome to the Forum. LittleLily, not Muttley!! Er… not that I wouldn’t welcome Muttley if Muttley was new to the forum…

Wonderful snakes and 1970s’ Lumberjack Coats hour with Herself this morning…

He makes a better Avon lady then he does a shopping television presenter…

They (the Presenters) should direct their vocal frustrations on-air to a selling strategy by design that misleads the customers. Certainly on price comparisons and essentially so with scaremongering and inaccurate descriptions of goods in general sales pitches. Not their role to make political...

Another evening of Far Eastern weaponry with the deeply mysterious Caine, with studio floor manager, Master Po close at hand.

Going by his Eastern European rant of several years ago - seems an unpleasant individual when frustrated. Trouble is, he speaks before he thinks from what I’ve seen of him on shopping television.

Sucks him up, hopefully.

Oh dear…Walter is in ****o mode. Cheap suit, gags and leering…

Part Six…Bearded Avon Lady/guitar capo and plectrum stand..

Right…why is this piece of clockwork shyte not working?? Right…OK….We only got this into the business just before the show, so I ain’t done me meticulous preparation.. Ah right…some fuc…didn’t put the batteries in…Nah…clockwork, ain’t it? Bleedin’ non-working factory sample again..

Better uses for Peter Simon Part Five… Guitar capo holder and plectrum stand…

Probably better off smelling these Bad Boys for a cheesy whiff…

Captain Knowles presenting. Torchy Morgan's microphone and ear piece broken - allegedly. Nice tactics to stop the boring **** (Morgan) n his tracks.

His whole rationale is being an enigma in his own mind. A stignigma in everybody else’s.

The trouble is Peter Simon is a stage name, isn’t it? You’d have to know his real name to be sure. And his apparent real surname is hardly an uncommon one. I mean…how many Knobheads are there in the phone book?

I wouldn’t even believe that date of birth if I were you.

Early 60s I suspect. He looks early 30s in the mid-90s, so that would add up. Making out he is nearly 70 or beyond is in my view a cynical selling ploy. One which he uses to ingratiate himself and connect with what he sees to be as the core buying base for old fogey type products. Although when...

Ego... Not being able to let go. Nobody with any sense of modesty would be announcing themselves prior to the show beginning.