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Saw a watch by that master horologist Philippe Mercier today on sale at a Next outlet store for 7.99. Those poor craftsmen that make those watches by hand must be earning about 50p an hour.

I'll have some of that.

St.Peter is just beginning the sermon on the mount flogging a nasty looking cross engraved with one of those God grant me verses on it. We're welling up here. Good luck if you get it. He's changed tack now and gone straight onto a strawberry on a genuine gold plate chain.God help us.

We're well acquainted with the infamous ex electrician Mr Mason. It must have been Chris whoever.

Who is the bloke on now? Never seen him before. Looks well dodgy. He's selling a hammer/axe for a penny. Scary!

Now we know who stole the rings on that little things mean a lot insurance ad that's on a hundred times a day

It's definitely not posh spice

Don't you remember that old disco classic He's the greatest dancer think it was Sister Sledge " Halston Gucci Fiorucci"

Anyone remember that old film The Invasion of the Bodysnatchers? Where the outward appearance was the same but the soul had gone. That's what will probably happen to poor Debbie

St. Peter is now wearing the weird jumper. He looks like he is being mounted by one of Santa's little helpers.Who in their right mind would buy it?

Poor Chris whatsisname having to wear that bizarre Christmas jumper. Actually feel sorry for him. Surely he's not going to try and shift it. It would take all of Saint Peter's powers to move that one.

Federico Mahora anyone? Shocked face launched it last night with Dirty Pete. It's so exclusive one click on Amazon and it could be bought about two quid cheaper than Bid.

I can remember him saying one of the production staff reminded him of Kate Wilmslow

Anyone seen Deal lately? There's a blonde contestant on called Georgie at the moment who's a dead ringer for tassel-tastic Nicola. Hope she's not smuggled herself back into the country under false preferences. Perhaps things aren't working out in Oz and she needs a few bob.

Ms Brash obviously didn't study French at school. She's been hyperventilating over Rive Gauche pour homme "perfume" saying how thrilled she would be to receive it and how she wouldn't let her daughter wear it as it's too womanly. It's meant for blokes.

He's very lucky because he doesn't just hear sound he feels it!

Another addition to the top ten. Dirty Peter has just flogged a revolting purple cardigan for 2.75 apparently it drops and droops. Irresistible.

Post should have been in the top ten of tat

My top ten Copper bottom pans which burn everything Omelette maker which left black bits on everything Silent I pod docking station Size 11 trainers that wouldn't fit a size 9 Slow cooker large enough to cater for the whole street Led lights battery ran out after about 5 minutes Earrings Pat...

See he's got his suit borrowed from Norman Wisdom on again