Random musings and general banter.

Oh the same wearisome items. It’s that ****** shower head now. How many times was this meant to sell out before, yet it is still available. He’s building up the next item to levels that it must be the Koh-i-Noor Diamond…Gone out on a limb for us all. Begged borrowed and stole with the management for US…Paraded around in a terrible tee-shirt - er…that bit IS true. Hold your breaths….calm…phones in hands…Oh…it’s some sort of broom head on a pole. £11.99….Wow - not. It’s funny, isn’t it? All this stock when it was previously on was always selling out. But they now have it all as clearance items. I thought clearance sales featured all the stuff that didn’t sell well originally? Er…

it's the usual "how many have I got? only that many!!!"

Who on earth panics they won't be able to buy a broom on a pole?

Ofhemasons claimed they had to put the price up - and have now, dramatically, brought them down.
Now reason to increase the price of brooms lying in a warehouse.
No doubt hundreds of people emailing him for a broom

Never any transparency with those hysterical “AAAH MANY LEFT, CHARLEY?” type Gallery to earpiece interventions. “AAAH MANY?” “AAAAAHHHH MANY???” “Right NOT many left,” they tell us. And how many is not many? Enough not many to have a load of not many left for clearance carnivals.. What a load of b…..it all is.

Oh…it’s some sort of broom head on a pole. £11.99

I thought it was Mighty Mouth Mike's new toothbrush...

Samki said:

Dirty Peter couldn’t tell the truth, even if it was dropped in his head

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1995 | BODGER & BADGER ~ EPISODE 57: REHEARSAL
Guest Star: Peter Simon

Director: Okay Peter, let's try that scene one more time. You come through the door, sit down, Badger says 'Mash potato is great', and you say "Ain't that the TRUTH, Badger!". Stick to the word in the script. It's "TRUTH". You keep mispronouncing it, adding 'not only', sticking your tongue in your cheek, and calling Badger 'Bet'. Got that? Let's go for take 156… ACTION!

Herring said:

1995 | BODGER & BADGER ~ EPISODE 57: REHEARSAL
Guest Star: Peter Simon

Director: Okay Peter, let's try that scene one more time. You come through the door, sit down, Badger says 'Mash potato is great', and you say "Ain't that the TRUTH, Badger!". Stick to the word in the script. It's "TRUTH". You keep mispronouncing it, adding 'not only', sticking your tongue in your cheek, and calling Badger 'Bet'. Got that? Let's go for take 156… ACTION!

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Oh I loved Bodger and Badger! I used to watch it with my young son. I enjoyed it more than he did.

Wow! Pyrex dishes.

How much more exciting can this carnival clearance get?

A pack of dusters?

A watering can?

Compression socks?

Lord Helpus said:

Wow! Pyrex dishes.

How much more exciting can this carnival clearance get?

A pack of dusters?

A watering can?

Compression socks?

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I’m waiting for the compression copper socks and the electric watering can

Tough night in the Gallery…

A waterproof mattress protector

Get on the phone, Bet. It's the damp in this hovel making the mattress wet......honest!

Elsewhere, viewers wetting themselves with excitement at the glittering array of complete tat on the clearance carnival

HughTwo said:

Now a "£56" shower head for £7.99. Yawn.........

"you've got to be quick gang. People buying twos and threes. Half me stock gone".

Ofthemasons lives in a parallel universe

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Must be a lot of rich people watching if they have houses with two or three showers.

Samki said:

I’m waiting for the compression copper socks and the electric watering can

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The electric watering can would be useful for chef Mark

Positive when positive is due. Alex Knowles comes over as a very decent human being. He bravely stuck his head over the parapet on here a few months back and fielded some tough questions. I hugely respected him for that. Also measured and as honest as you can be when he appears on-air. This guy would make a first class presenter. Do yourself a favour, Ideal World - make him a presenting offer he cannot refuse.

Back to grim reality: Peter van Theroenohtdelibree..

Duke of Cheese said:

Positive when positive is due. Alex Knowles comes over as a very decent human being. He bravely stuck his head over the parapet on here a few months back and fielded some tough questions. I hugely respected him for that. Also measured and as honest as you can be when he appears on-air. This guy would make a first class presenter. Do yourself a favour, Ideal World - make him a presenting offer he cannot refuse.

Back to grim reality: Peter van Theroenohtdelibree..

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To be fair even the best presenter would struggle with some of the tat they are confronted with.

When Peter Simon was flogging those £99.99 blow-up wobbly armchairs Alex tried to curl up in one and it duly collapsed.

I'd be surprised if we see those again unless they are reduced to £19.99 in the carnival of crap.

Peter van stickytapedemo is not an expert on anything.

He was trying to demonstrate a parasol - even Ofthemasons knew more about it. Highlight being it could go to three heights, all for 99 quid.
Of course, they're flying out

Does he just hang around outside until somebody lets him in and creates a role for him?

Buy the Daewoo 1 litre mini deep fat fryer from IW at their 'clearance price' of £39.99. Remember that folks, their clearance price.

Alternatively, buy it direct from Daewoo for £22.99 plus £3.99 p&p.

Alternatively, buy a different model, 1.2 litre, from Asda for £14.00.

IW, where the amazing clearance price deals never start ... oops I mean end!

HughTwo said:

Peter van stickytapedemo is not an expert on anything.

He was trying to demonstrate a parasol - even Ofthemasons knew more about it. Highlight being it could go to three heights, all for 99 quid.
Of course, they're flying out

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Are Mason and Volauvent fling out too - like Mary Poppins?

Two out of work actors needed to wear a £4.99 tee-shirt and to suck up broken biscuits with a cheap vacuum. Must be able to behave like a hapless buffoon. Four hours work in the west London area. LVs provided. 25 guineas each.

Peter van Aveabuy needs new specs - they keep falling down his nose.

I'm sure I saw reading specs being sold in the Tatival Clearance - got on Peter, ave-a-buy