It’s like people in general in life who do wrong by others and know they are doing it. The best they can hope for is oblivion. The worst? As Simon has said himself - Hell awaits. Or being forced to watch the morning beauty hours in a room full of the Gammone, on a loop forever more.
I recall the brief spell when PS Dirty Greengrocers was operating.
I went in to buy an apple one lunch hour, only for the proprietor to tell me "I bring you a fruit that is a joy, not only is it green, not only does it have a stalk, not only does it have a core........"
I only want to buy an apple, mate.
"But whether it's cakes or flans, for your crumbles and desserts, a real delight these apples, alright"
Look I just want one apple.
"Ok, I'm going to do this at a clearance price. Oftheseemons grocer was doing fruit a five pound a bag (not a direct comparison).
"Multi buy if you can. A bag of 12, only 50p.............first of four flexis.
"From your juices to your tarts, whether it's slices or sauces, ok.
"To keep the physician bay, one a day, in stews or pasties, the delight of a Chaussons aux Pommes. Ave a buy.
"You can't go wrong, you really can't.
Forget it pal, I'll get a bag of crisps next door.
He can't stand us but he nicks our name for him, like he's reclaiming an insult by using it himself. We clearly bother him!
