Who is your Bid TV Valentine? Give us a clue to who is your secret crush!

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That's so heartfelt, deedee :heart:

Thank you Greg, thank you for understanding where I'm coming from and being so sensitive about it.
It wasn't easy to express myself to you all and open up my innermost feelings of love and desire.
It did come from deep within my heart but the bit I haven't expressed is how rejected I feel because this love is unrequited, tragically it will never be returned. :sad: :heartbroke: :puke:
 
sonicare-toothbrush.jpg


Your teeth are beautiful,
as white as the snow,
But your choppers weren't always
just like that as so,
You had terrible gum diease,
with blood on your teeth
It looked as if you had spent the night
On cold Hampstead Heath.

One day your poor wife,
said "Look here my true love,
Your mouth smells like a toilet
and needs washing with soap 'Dove'"
So off to work you went
to the studios of 'TV Bid',
With Sally and Marina,
Mike, that daft cockney Flid

"Ah! A sonic toothbrush,
Is the solution to my woes!
I'll scrub all my gnashers,
And In between my fat toes,"
My Valentine, my Valentine!
You like to draw in those buying suckers,
You're a lying cynical fraudster
To me you're a complete ...........

:heart:Happy Valentine's Day!:heart:
 
That's really touching Greg, i'm not the emotional type but I have to admit to shedding a few tears.

It's gotta be true love when you talk about your beau's stinking Gingivitis.
 
That's really touching Greg, i'm not the emotional type but I have to admit to shedding a few tears.

It's gotta be true love when you talk about your beau's stinking Gingivitis.

I'm glad I'm not the only one touched by Greg's eloquent and poetic outpouring of heartfelt emotion.
I'm not the emotional type either Wirral but I privately welled up and shed a tear.
It was the bit about 'blood on your teeth' and 'your mouth smells like a toilet' that got me.
*sighs deeply* just beautifully touchingly romantic and loving *dabs tears from eyes*
 
I'm glad I'm not the only one touched by Greg's eloquent and poetic outpouring of heartfelt emotion.
I'm not the emotional type either Wirral but I privately welled up and shed a tear.
It was the bit about 'blood on your teeth' and 'your mouth smells like a toilet' that got me.
*sighs deeply* just beautifully touchingly romantic and loving *dabs tears from eyes*

Only someone with a genuinely deep felt love can be so candid. It's refreshing to hear such commitment in this day and age.

I was particularly touched by the offer to clean his rotting mouth out with soap, that's just beautiful.
 
Only someone with a genuinely deep felt love can be so candid. It's refreshing to hear such commitment in this day and age.

I was particularly touched by the offer to clean his rotting mouth out with soap, that's just beautiful.

Oh Wirral that's so well put :mysmilie_471:
I know exactly what you mean.
I don't think Greg realises what a profound effect he's had on us.
Such depth of feeling and declaration of genuine love is refreshing.
For me, it's made even more beautiful by the act of cleaning the athletes foot fungal infection from between his toes with the sonic toothbrush...........true love and devotion like that is so rare these days.................oh no, I'm welling up again *blows nose and wipes tears away*
 
Oh Wirral that's so well put :mysmilie_471:
I know exactly what you mean.
I don't think Greg realises what a profound effect he's had on us.
Such depth of feeling and declaration of genuine love is refreshing.
For me, it's made even more beautiful by the act of cleaning the athletes foot fungal infection from between his toes with the sonic toothbrush...........true love and devotion like that is so rare these days.................oh no, I'm welling up again *blows nose and wipes tears away*

Anyone who would go near Pigface's Trotters is truly devoted, and you think his bog mouth reeks?
 
To be sung to the tune of "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend". Profound apologies to Marilyn Monroe, who's probably now on a 1400 spin cycle in her grave.

:heart: Bid TV is A Girl's Best Friend :heart:

"The ASA are glad to fight for truth.
They delight in stopping fraudsters' lies.
But I adore the channel that employs
Spivs, and dwarfs like Mark Ryes.

18ct gold may be so continental,
But Bid TV is a girl's best friend.
Buying from them may be considered mental
With their extra fees.
But company-wide mis-selling and lies? Yes please!
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But young gal or old nurse
They want to get inside your purse.
Bid TV is a girl's best friend.


... Tiffany's!
... Cartier!
Thomas Kinkade, Saworfski.
Talk to me Peter Simon, tell me all about it!

There may come a time when a lass needs a tacky necklace
Then Bid TV are a girl's best friend
There may come a time when a hard boiled employer thinks you're awful nice
But get that AAAAAA Tanzanite or else no dice
He's your guy when stocks are high but beware when they start to descend
It's then that those ***** buy gold foil-covered brasses
Bid TV is a girl's best friend

I've heard of sales pitches that are strictly platonic
But Bid TV is a girl's best friend
And I think sales pitches that are totally Mason-ic are more for me
Even if they can get really scary.
Time rolls on and youth is gone and you can't straighten up when you bend
But stiff knees or stiff backs you'll multibuy from Foghorn Jacks

Bid TV... Bid TV... I don't mean Netto... but Bid TV... are a girls best... best friend"

:heart: :heart: :heart:
 
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To be sung to the tune of "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend". Profound apologies to Marilyn Monroe, who's probably now on a 1400 spin cycle in her grave.

:heart: Bid TV is A Girl's Best Friend :heart:

"The ASA are glad to fight for truth.
They delight in stopping fraudsters' lies.
But I adore the channel that employs
Spivs, and dwarfs like Mark Ryes.

18ct gold may be so continental,
But Bid TV is a girl's best friend.
Buying from them may be considered mental
With their extra fees.
But company-wide mis-selling and lies? Yes please!
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charms in the end.
But young gal or old nurse
They want to get inside your purse.
Bid TV is a girl's best friend.


... Tiffany's!
... Cartier!
Thomas Kinkade, Saworfski.
Talk to me Peter Simon, tell me all about it!

There may come a time when a lass needs a tacky necklace
Then Bid TV are a girl's best friend
There may come a time when a hard boiled employer thinks you're awful nice
But get that AAAAAA Tanzanite or else no dice
He's your guy when stocks are high but beware when they start to descend
It's then that those ***** buy gold foil-covered brasses
Bid TV is a girl's best friend

I've heard of sales pitches that are strictly platonic
But Bid TV is a girl's best friend
And I think sales pitches that are totally Mason-ic are more for me
Even if they can get really scary.
Time rolls on and youth is gone and you can't straighten up when you bend
But stiff knees or stiff backs you'll multibuy from Foghorn Jacks

Bid TV... Bid TV... I don't mean Netto... but Bid TV... are a girls best... best friend"

:heart: :heart: :heart:

You know Enigma that ode moved me, it really did.

So sensitive, so tender. I'm sure it will be appreciated.
 
My type of thread!! Ever since I tuned on the other week, the firts time proper Id paid any attention to the channel. Anyway, its no secret who my crush is, James Russell and Im shouting it from the rooftops. Its weird because I should not like him, hes 'poncey' 'kirby hoover slaesman' 'acts like a prat, talks like some timeshare seller but I fancy him rotten. I love his black next type trousers and well I dont know if I met him, whether Id want to kiss him or kick him!!

Im going to have to add to this thread on a regular basis, as I watch him ponce about some more. or in my dedicated James Russell thread, like I say I should loathe him but I think I might love him!!

As for the others, I dont know them all yet. Mike mason is an attractive guy but I find his dubvious sales pitch and big mouth voice, well repugnent. He just wants to rip everybody off as much as he can, sell sell sell, so he can take his goddess to the Dominican republic , quite probably. I dont like to swear but I think he is a 'tosser' thats the word Id use to sum him up.

I havent seen any ladies that I like. Most of the assistants seem to be quite common acting, and also quite bimbo like, they dont seem to be used for their intelligence.
 
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sally, you're the ship's foghorn
Lisa Brash, so you are too!

Rubies are red
Tanzanite is blue
Peter Simon you're an angel
Go on, lick James Russell's shoes!
 
I watch you sell ladders
I watch you sell glue,
I watch you sell tanzantie
And lots of other poo.

I watch you scaremonger
with your first aid kit,
But what comes from your mouth
Is a load of old sh*t.

I don't want a Garmin,
a throw or a suit,
I don't want an Earnshaw
or a juicer for fruit.

I don't need gold-plating
Or AAAA grade,
And I don't need a painting
by Thomas Kincade.

I think you're quite funny
But I sometimes hit mute,
And I think you're quite sexy
though bald as a coot.

:heart::heart::heart::heart:
 

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