Selly selly shopping telly (game)

[Dr Quincy]

I reckon we've watched enough shopping TV to wax lyrical about any old rubbish. I'll list 3 things and you can pick 1 or all and give me a couple of paragraphs of how you would sell it on Ideal World.

1. Cadbury's Curly Wurly

2. Spam

3. Clothes Pegs

As we all have to sell the same tat, no doubt each presenter will bring their own character to the presentation

 

[Price Plunge]

Not only are these pegs made from the finest wood; not only are they made to grasp the clothes with a precision fit for your precious linens; not only for your tops, your trousers, your dresses, your baby's bib, your toddler's romper suit...anything you can think of these pegs will do the job with elegance and panache; on a clothes horse or washing line, indoors near the sink or outside in the wind, rain, sleet or snow...these pegs are crafted to last a lifetime of you and your family's laundry; an essential addition to any home whether you live on your own or have a large family. Available on flexi-pay so any item you add to your flexi-basket the cost of which is spread over four months, interest free...I've just heard that these pegs are now LIMITED STOCK so quickly get on the phones or the website (all the Ws dot idealworld dot tv)...don't forget to check out your baskets on the web...JUST BUY!!!

Have I passed the audition?

 

[Enigma]

1. I had a Curly Wurly once. It was like a big poo, all brown and squishy. But without the smell. There are queues on the phones, and we have sold 0.0001% of our total stock for this millennium. Now, here with me is Chef Paul Brodel. You must eat a lot of Curly Wurlies Paul: how does that affect your bowels?

2. Spam... It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best thing since... I do hope our Bet's watching, because she's loved Spam ever since.... Look, get it home for 33pee and postage on flexipay. Just buy it! You can make Spam fritters, though I am partial to a big pork sword on occasion

3. I love these clothes pegs, our Mam would have used these to peg out my undies when I was but a nipper (aged 36). Our Nan would have loved these, but we never helped the old bat out so in the end she had to resort to using her old sets of dentures. Well, we wouldn't have had any cash to spend on cruises if we'd thrown it away on her! Anyway, these moissanite-encrusted pegs are only Nan Nanty Nan plus yer postage

 

[shopperholic]

Not only is a Curly Wurly covered in chocolate, not only is it long, not only does it have holes in (sucks in cheeks on the face, turns round with hands on his waist, looks camera up and down in such a camp way it would put Butlins out of business) because obviously long things with holes in are amusing, not only is it chewy right, not only is it 50p on, er er three flexi-pay right?! so just buy it!! honestly jut buy it!!

 

[historymystery]

Ladies and gentlemen, how often have you said to yourself: my washing doesn't smell fresh? Not only have I used a branded washing powder, not only have I used fabric conditioner which claims to give my washing a fragrance that could power a nuclear energy plant, not only do I clean my washing machine drum with industrial-strength bleach on a daily basis, not only do I tumble dry my clothes....yet, in spite of all this....my washing doesn't smell fresh. Today, I bring you these little miracles, available for you to buy in packets of 12 (now, now, ladies and gentlemen, there's no need for that!). Furthermore, I bring you a choice: oh, can I just say.... the phones have gone mad...I bring you a choice - they are available in plain wood, or tasteful shades of plastic to harmonise with your hair rollers......they are, ladies and gentlemen: (drum roll):......clothes pegs, or as we like to say at IW,

"Peg your clothes on the washing line,
In the air they'll soon smell fine"

The price today - and it's only for today, as these may never come back on our screen - is £9.99 (that's Nan Nanty Nan to you), or 3 Easy pays of £24 each, or £24.00 and 3 easy pays of £9.99, or ...oh hell, just buy it.

Made by none other than the world-famous PEOATPWP (Peg 'Em Out And The Pong Will Perish) Corporation, these little miracles will change your life. But you'll need to be quick - over 40% of stock's already gone.

I reckon we've watched enough shopping TV to wax lyrical about any old rubbish. I'll list 3 things and you can pick 1 or all and give me a couple of paragraphs of how you would sell it on Ideal World.

1. Cadbury's Curly Wurly

2. Spam

3. Clothes Pegs

As we all have to sell the same tat, no doubt each presenter will bring their own character to the presentation

 

[aqua]

Here are some shopping telly lines you could use for any of the items ;

1) What they've done here is sheer genius !

2) I bought this for my mum /nan/god daughter.

3) I'm loving the colour-a really rich golden brown.

4 ) We never imagined we would be this busy.

5 ) If you've got a son , daughter or maybe a grandchild going off to uni then this could be a godsend.

6 ) We always have these at home.

7 ) If you're not perhaps as nimble as you once were then these could really fit the bill.

8 ) I know our Alma would really love these.

9 ) If you've got a special occasion coming up- a wedding, a christening or maybe a barbecue then these are going to make your day.

10 ) I bought something similar last summer and I paid quite a bit more.


























































































































































































































































































































































































)

 

[Greg]

Awight! Do you rememba when you were a kid, Guv, when you had your first Curley Wurly, Lubba Duck? I told me little boy: D'you know what - when you grow up, you will be a bald prat just like yer dad. Apples 'n' pears. Where's me Goddess? We were so poor we had to stick up a Curly Wurly to use as a contraceptive otherwise I had to get my lovely to do a Barclays Bank on me, me hearties...that and the washing-up 'n' the cleaning, ya dirty scrubba! To the beat, to the beat, come on nowww! Sweet meeee!....

 

[merryone]

Good morning "Price Shoppers" I'm Sabrina Schyster and welcome to Price Shop the new channel that offers you everything you can get on the high street without actually having to go there - and we all know what a horrendous nightmare that can be! My first item I have for you today is something to eat. Now before you say "I'd NEVER buy food from a shopping channel" Why not give us a try - "suck it and see"...guffaw guffaw see what I did there viewers? I'm terrible, me!

So what have we got here? WOW! We've only managed to bag 10 cases of Curly Wurlies!!! Now before I start, I'd get on the phones NOW, these aren't going to be around for long that I can tell you. Hold on a moment, sorry about this folks, but I'm just hearing in my earpiece that at least 100 people have already placed orders on the website, since they came into the business last night, so hurry.
The humble curly wurly dear viewers is a retro bar of the chocolate and toffee variety, now unless you've been living in a cave on a remote island for the last six months you will know how big, how current the retro/vintage style is at the moment.
It is a little known fact that the iconic design of the curly wurly is based upon the pattern of the wrought iron railings of a certain Master Charles Montgomery ignatious Cadbury's North London childhood home. Young Charles was so mesmerised by this beautiful openwork "TEN PERCENT OF THE STOCK HAS SOLD OUT AND GONE" that he pleaded with his father who worked at the time in a chocolate factory to create a chocolate bar in this design. "Don't be so ridiculous son" he said "It will never sell" and "what would we call it?" Curly Wurly of course said young Charles, "Don't be so ridiculous son" The young Charles was distraught - but things were about to get much better for the young lad, as unbeknown to him, his father began slaving night and day in the factory to create the perfect curly wurly bar in the shape of his young son's favourite railings! On the morning of young Charles's 12th birthday he awoke to find a foot long, beautifully packaged chocolate bar with the words Cadbury's wrought iron toffee chocoate railing delight. Young Charles was thrilled and even more so when his father said that he was to produce this delicious sweetmeat for the open market. Sadly it didn't sell very well and with a heavy heart Charles Father decided he could no longer manufacture it. Young Charles said "But Dad, it's just the name, it's not exactly catchy is it?, why not change it" "What to, clever clogs?" "Curly Wurly of course!"...and the rest is history.
OOOOOPS and so is the stock, I've just heard that our entire stock has sold out and gone, bad luck suckers..or should I saw chewers..guffaw guffaw. I've been Sabrina Schyster and here comes my friend and colleague Gabby Gobshite and she's got a wonderful clothes drying system up next!