Random musings and general banter.

[cheeky chappie]

Call me stupid, but I never understand the term over allocated. Why don't they just say, it's sold out? You have 100 'x' and 101 want it. Implication being, 100 sold out, 1 missed out.

Makes it sound all exciting

Over allocating ...
In the business ...
Loaded onto the system ...

etc. It's all part of the deceit to make the viewer think they must 'buy now' or miss out.

Which is made even more laughable given 100% of the stuff IW sell can be found elsewhere in copious quantities and for less £££

 

[Wanderer]

What is anti mercurial bedding?

I think its a secret message for Muriel not to buy the current item.

Anti Muriel.....

 

[Hammy60]

They ‘technically’ all sold out yet 8 didn’t go through. Does anyone believe this bullsh*t. Hammy we need your bullsh*t radar. It will be off the scale

Sorry but it burnt out after the first 15 seconds of the show.

 

[Wanderer]

Sorry but it burnt out after the first 15 seconds of the show.

View attachment 31078

That's because it didn't have a Swiss Movement......

 

[Lilo Lil]

Natalia and the Instant Effects(?) guy Richard seem a bit touchy freely this morning …

 

[Duke of Cheese]

She is one of the cheesiest people I have ever seen. If only Victoria Wood was still around. A perfect character for her for a beauty channel sketch character.

 

[Ostrichkeeper]

She’s just claimed to have had a vein removed from under her eye years ago but I simply don’t believe that. I do believe that she had some kind of eye surgery because of the starey look they have. Natalia I mean.And it would have been cosmetic related. This demo is crazy because she’s using water to show cellulite , fat etc but it’s water.

 

[Battiola73]

She’s just claimed to have had a vein removed from under her eye years ago but I simply don’t believe that. I do believe that she had some kind of eye surgery because of the starey look they have. Natalia I mean.And it would have been cosmetic related. This demo is crazy because she’s using water to show cellulite , fat etc but it’s water.

She’s an utter charlatan IMHO. Grotesque face

 

[Dr Quincy MkII]

Berk is reading out the essential oils blurb like it's erotic fiction. Telling us he is getting 'excited'. Yup same old sh....

 

[Duke of Cheese]

She’s an utter charlatan IMHO. Grotesque face

That’s enough about her better points…

 

[Battiola73]

That’s enough about her better points…

Well. Didn’t want to seem too bit.chy.

 

[Duke of Cheese]

Is his local library shut again? Try as I might, I genuinely cannot see the point of Van Partexchange. An elderly man pushing a plastic trolley backwards and forwards…Do they remunerate him in Provident Cheques?

 

[exmothian]

Oh no the wrong price again.Just had a phone call from the boss.

 

[cheeky chappie]

I've just been thrown out of Asda

Why I don't know!

All I did was give the following advice to an old wifey who was looking at the Brussels Sprouts. Accurate, factual advice!

You know, those are probably the best Brussels Sprouts for sale in this aisle.
They are probably the best Brussels Sprouts for sale in this town.
You are probably the first person to buy these Brussels Sprouts.
It could be the case if you eat these Brussels Sprouts that you will probably fart less. At the very least less smelly farts.
You might start to feel some health benefits and will probably have a heathier glow if you eat these Brussel Sprouts.
These sprouts could possibly come from the Brussels region itself. Yes, they could probably be genuine Brussels Sprouts.
Asda probably won't have these Brussels Sprouts for sale again, once they're gone they're probably gone.
Asda is probably over allocating on these sprouts, so you'd be wise to get them in your basket and head for the check out NOW!
It should probably be the case that these sprouts might have less odour when being cooked than any other variety.
Whilst it could be the case you might find better Brussels Sprouts for sale elsewhere, it's probably unlikely.

At this point the old wifey had shouted for security

 

[Scraping the barrel]

I've just been thrown out of Asda

Why I don't know!

All I did was give the following advice to an old wifey who was looking at the Brussels Sprouts. Accurate, factual advice!

You know, those are probably the best Brussels Sprouts for sale in this aisle.
They are probably the best Brussels Sprouts for sale in this town.
You are probably the first person to buy these Brussels Sprouts.
It could be the case if you eat these Brussels Sprouts that you will probably fart less. At the very least less smelly farts.
You might start to feel some health benefits and will probably have a heathier glow if you eat these Brussel Sprouts.
These sprouts could possibly come from the Brussels region itself. Yes, they could probably be genuine Brussels Sprouts.
Asda probably won't have these Brussels Sprouts for sale again, once they're gone they're probably gone.
Asda is probably over allocating on these sprouts, so you'd be wise to get them in your basket and head for the check out NOW!
It should probably be the case that these sprouts might have less odour when being cooked than any other variety.
Whilst it could be the case you might find better Brussels Sprouts for sale elsewhere, it's probably unlikely.

At this point the old wifey had shouted for security

If I ever see some new random guy on IW selling Brussels sprouts I will know for sure who it is!.Headhunted with no training required.
Just think of all the money you’d earn just for telling the truth,to tell it as it is.

 

[Samki]

Inspired by Burberry my ar*se - perfidious charlatans

 

[Muttley]

Inspired by Burberry my ar*se - perfidious charlatans

I'd like to know what elements of the mac are inspired by Burberry. The way I see it is that the product is a mac, and Burberry sells macs. Therefore they are similar or 'inspired by' (a vague, meaningless expression perfect for selly telly)

In that case my flat has a front door, walls and a floor. Same as a mansion in Hampstead. Therefore my flat is equal to a mansion in Hampstead

 

[HughTwo]

She’s just claimed to have had a vein removed from under her eye years ago but I simply don’t believe that. I do believe that she had some kind of eye surgery because of the starey look they have. Natalia I mean.And it would have been cosmetic related. This demo is crazy because she’s using water to show cellulite , fat etc but it’s water.

Not the only one to make unlikely claims about their appearance.

Remember Dirty Peter and his meeting with the patio doors - one smack and his eyebrows shooting skywards.

Another of his tall tales - like last night when he claimed it had taken three years to persuade Traser to let them sell a specific watch.
This incarnation of IW hasn't been going for three years.
Later, there was the nonsense about him and Kevski selling watches for 30 years.

More of those crudely embroidered tales coming up tonight...

 

[HughTwo]

I'd like to know what elements of the mac are inspired by Burberry. The way I see it is that the product is a mac, and Burberry sells macs. Therefore they are similar or 'inspired by' (a vague, meaningless expression perfect for selly telly)

In that case my flat has a front door, walls and a floor. Same as a mansion in Hampstead. Therefore my flat is equal to a mansion in Hampstead

Not only is that not a direct comparison, not only would it be nonsense to claim your flat is like mansion, you sound ideally qualified to become an IW presenter, ok.

 

[Muttley]

Not only is that not a direct comparison, not only would it be nonsense to claim your flat is like mansion, you sound ideally qualified to become an IW presenter, ok.

I'l send my CV in, think of the fun I could have with that.

I've got a Masters in bullsh*ting and I know I could do the job six days week and twice on Sundays. I've got a wardrobe full of designer handbags but won't flinch when saying that a £10 plastic monstrosity is equally as good. More than happy to lie and say I live in a hovel if it suits the sale but also happy to brag that Gardeners World are filming in my garden cos it's even more stunning than Kew Gardens. I have the ability to make a variety of weird Whoop Whoop noises which make me sound like an imbecile. I also have a wide range of made up stories including what happened to me on Christmas Eve when my car broke down.

Do you think I would get the job?