I made a few amendments and an addition to a post I uploaded earlier this year to take account of Mason's highly prized Nubeo watch and the special circumstances behind its delivery...that was covered by precisely no one apart from Mason himself. Apologies for a 'repeat' post, just thought that the Mason feature added a little something. Happy New Year to everyone.
Standard Disclaimer: No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Kevinski Reynoldski’s distinctive laughter has made him something of a legend in the world of shopping tele, and his appearances on Ideal World have attracted something of a cult following. It is here that he regales viewers with tales of the CEOs of some of the world’s most prestigious watch firms: Albongo Freezero of Matty Tossot, Igor Nosocksy of Lowstock and Edgar Voloducky of Avibrator, are just some of the names that get a regular mention.
And Kev’s never been short of a tale or two when it comes to his long-standing association with these luxury brands, including:
• The time when Matty Tossot kept their factory open over a Bank Holiday weekend so that he could take delivery of a Rolly Polly Special Edition watch. So determined were the company to fulfil their order, that even the managing director’s 100 year-old-mother, Elberta Freezero, was called in to make tea and sandwiches around the clock for the dutiful workers.
• A brush with death as Russian bandits tried to hijack his van full of Lowstocks! Not only was Kevin’s life in serious peril, he also faced the heart-breaking loss of Mike Mason’s repeatedly sold out watch. Igor Nosocksy saved the day, sending a crack team of ex-military watchmakers to the rescue.
• And who could forget the breathtaking account of the handover of *Avibrator’s latest watch, when Edgar Voloducky flew in on a stunt plane, performed a 360° loop-the-loop, and dropped the timepiece right into the top pocket of Kevin’s tuxedo!
(*Remarkable as this event was, it could not eclipse presenter/astronomer Mike Mason’s spectacular receipt of a Nudeous timepiece. Launched from the moon on a purpose made rocket, the watch descended to his country estate, where an assembled party of Pearly Kings and Queens (all wearing hi-tech tracking transmitters) guided the timepiece to a safe landing. Amidst all the excitement of the touchdown, Mr Mason and the celebrated storyteller and whorologist Jonathon Brothėl took centre stage, leading a stirring rendition of the Cockney classic “The Lambeth Walk”. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime event in the watch world.)
Kevin is perhaps best known for his pairing with Ideal World’s resident comedian Peter Simons. The two first met many years ago at the notorious launch pad for all shopping tele watches, Bozo World…
Coming directly from a successful run as a Liberace warm up act in Las Vegas, Peter was spotted entertaining a bemused crowd in the discount leather strap aisle. Impressed by his Les Dawson style gurning, along with raunchy tales including “Our Bet’s back passage”, Kevin immediately recognised him as someone who could bring gravitas and value to the world of horology.
As well as their sparkling repartee and comic timing, developed over many years, this dynamic duo are also known for their trademark specialty light act. At some point in their Ideal World show, the studio lights will be dimmed and a camera will zoom in to a watch and a torch. The merest hint of torchlight is enough to stimulate a dazzling light show as the magical tubes in the watch dial are brought to life.
It is here we see the full impact of Peter and Kevin’s highly polished routine, as they both weigh in with their theatrical observations: “Ain’t it amazing!” is Peter’s typical opening salvo, with Kevin adding a devastatingly effective comment about just how expensive the magical tubes are. Absolutely brilliant!
And finally, we must give a mention to Kevin’s most loyal customer, Dave Loaded. Not only has Dave purchased nearly every watch that has been brought to air, he also encourages viewers to buy watches, and even features in Kevin’s yearly cash-flow projections. Such patronage hasn’t been forgotten, with Dave getting the occasional favourable mention on the show, to the extent that he could almost be regarded as some sort of friend. Almost.
That’s just the sort of class we’ve come to expect from Kevin, and it’s small wonder that he’s developed such a loyal following from besotted watch lovers over the years. A true original, I doubt we will ever see his likes again…
, I was nearly crying with laughter. I'm still knackered but not so fed up! I particularly liked 'Igor Nosocksy', and Peter Simon entertaining the crowds in the discount leather strap aisle
