Random musings and general banter.

[Dave]

I was up early this morning switched on and there was Howard on with some face cleanser that is of no interest to me but could not help listening to his bull shine two young women on demonstrating the product the first thing he askes them is what is the first thing you do when you get up in the morning do you go to the toilet dear god what is with this guy and toilets needless to say neither replied about that.

Reading your post Mossie, reminded me of an old gag that has some relevance here. The names of those represented are purely fictitious, or names have been changed to protect the innocent. Other names are available, and may or may not be true, and the gag, may or may not have been plagiarised. Further more, the information contained herein has resulted in me taking the decision to publish it. All statements should have been properly challenged by those in the know. For that being said, I am sorry for taking this decision, which may or may not upset some. Here is the gag - enjoy!

Doctor to patient - what seems to be the trouble?
Howard to Doctor - I go to the toilet regularly at 6am!
Doctor to Howard - What's wrong with that?
Howard to Doctor - But I don't wake up till 7am.

Well I thought it funny! Sorry peeps!

 

[Wirral70]

Look at the state of Molly Malone.

She looks like a Dental Assistant :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

Poo Poo says that Paul McKenna (he seems kind of obsessed with him doesn't he?) told him to chew his food properly as you don't have teeth in your bowels. I'm not making that up, he actually said that.

I think mean Paul McKenna was perhaps being sarcastic because it's pretty obvious that poor Poo Poo doesn't seem to have any teeth, the poor man can't chew can he? He looks like Mr Ed eating a Sugarlump.

I wonder how he ended up with full dentures. I'm guessing he must only be in his mid 50's? :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

Poo Poo says that Paul McKenna (he seems kind of obsessed with him doesn't he?) told him to chew his food properly as you don't have teeth in your bowels. I'm not making that up, he actually said that.

I think mean Paul McKenna was perhaps being sarcastic because it's pretty obvious that poor Poo Poo doesn't seem to have any teeth, the poor man can't chew can he? He looks like Mr Ed eating a Sugarlump.

I wonder how he ended up with full dentures. I'm guessing he must only be in his mid 50's? :mysmilie_59:

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He said earlier that he sometimes forgets to switch off his mic when he's in the toilet :mysmilie_10:

 

[Wirral70]

He said earlier that he sometimes forgets to switch off his mic when he's in the toilet :mysmilie_10:

Oh dear, I bet the gallery get an earful there Momma.

He really is a very odd little man isn't he? I used to think he was harmless but all I see now when I look at him is a slightly younger Dirty Peter.

But talk about them thinking the punters are stupid. BIG BRODEL is screaming 'look at the fat that's come out of that, there must be 8ml'. And what's his point when he looks like he's eaten 8 Kg of lard.

And Poo Poo says how well the Flimsy Rotisserie cooks and you don't get any lines on your sausages like you do when you fry. Look at the state of this half cooked muck. Every time it's on (and jeez it's on a lot) this Rank Rottiserie is carp :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

Oh dear, I bet the gallery get an earful there Momma.

He really is a very odd little man isn't he? I used to think he was harmless but all I see now when I look at him is a slightly younger Dirty Peter.

But talk about them thinking the punters are stupid. BIG BRODEL is screaming 'look at the fat that's come out of that, there must be 8ml'. And what's his point when he looks like he's eaten 8 Kg of lard.

And Poo Poo says how well the Flimsy Rotisserie cooks and you don't get any lines on your sausages like you do when you fry. Look at the state of this half cooked muck. Every time it's in this Rank Rottiserie is carp :mysmilie_59:

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His stomach is the main problem, it's huge. He doesn't appear too big anywhere else.

 

[Wirral70]

His stomach is the main problem, it's huge. He doesn't appear too big anywhere else.

He gets bigger and bigger, surely they can see the problem with him constantly shilling health cookers?

Who am I kidding! As if this schlocky lot give a damn about such minor details :mysmilie_59:

 

[Wirral70]

I keep saying this but honestly, what I'm about to say I'm not making it up.

LITTLE GOLLUM is inside the Tent Thingymejig and he tried to reach to the top and claimed that in shoes he's 6 Foot Tall. Who's shoes, The BFG's?

When Dirty Peter was in it he reckoned he was 6 Foot 2.

'Chef' William must be 7 Foot something. And Peter Vacuum Vol Au Vent is Jaws :mysmilie_59:

 

[Mommabear]

Perv and Sarah with the Nutrimaster cooking scrambled eggs but the timings are a bit all over the place

Eggs go into the 'chamber' at 18.23 for "2-3 minutes"...............18.29 the eggs are done.......oh no they're not, she starts the machine up again.........18.30 he announces the eggs are done in "less than 5 minutes"........I make it 7 but never mind, lets have a look at it.......she puts them on toast.........looks very much like nice scrambled eggs on toast..........he says "eggs in 4 minutes ok"

No! it's not ok, they took 7!!

During that 7 minutes, she tried to make a green smoothie but the machine wouldn't work, we had to suffer a video of Chris Park while they changed it to one that works

 

[Mommabear]

Ha now he says "we're going to do a puffing...."

She changes it to "puffin"

It is of course a pudding :wink:

 

[Mommabear]

Seems to be a bad idea to shovel a load of peanut butter into your gob when you're trying to close the show

I spotted some peanuts that were still whole :wink:

What a total mess that was!

 

[Wirral70]

Perv and Sarah with the Nutrimaster cooking scrambled eggs but the timings are a bit all over the place

Eggs go into the 'chamber' at 18.23 for "2-3 minutes"...............18.29 the eggs are done.......oh no they're not, she starts the machine up again.........18.30 he announces the eggs are done in "less than 5 minutes"........I make it 7 but never mind, lets have a look at it.......she puts them on toast.........looks very much like nice scrambled eggs on toast..........he says "eggs in 4 minutes ok"

No! it's not ok, they took 7!!

During that 7 minutes, she tried to make a green smoothie but the machine wouldn't work, we had to suffer a video of Chris Park while they changed it to one that works

They've had problems with that machine before.

Basically this machine is a very cheap knock off of a Vitamix. They make much of the fact it has a 2 Horsepower Motor (a la Vitamix) much in the same way they make much of the fact their cheap Android phones and tablets tend to have Quad Core Processors. Of course it means nothing.

You can buy a Mercedes with a 2 Litre Engine. You can buy a Skoda with a 2 Litre Engine. They ain't the same 2 Litre Engines.

It's bull :mysmilie_59:

 

[Enigma]

I'm sort of confused by this forum; I remember people cheering on the ASA for pulling up the likes of Mike Mason and Peter Simon for blatantly ripping off people on Bid.

And look at all the complaining on here when Ideal World took these people on to do exactly the same thing again. I admit, I've been as vocal as anyone as these people are scum.

So I don't understand why I get the piss taken out of me for not just sitting on my fat backside and complaining uselessly, but for taking the kind of action that people were gleefully reporting on only a few short years ago when it was Bid that was in the firing line.

Is OK saying "Well, the ASA won't do nuffink". Which is true if all people do is vent their spleen on a shopping TV forum when they see the likes of these vultures doing anything and everything they can to rob people of their cash.

 

[Wirral70]

I'm sort of confused by this forum; I remember people cheering on the ASA for pulling up the likes of Mike Mason and Peter Simon for blatantly ripping off people on Bid.

And look at all the complaining on here when Ideal World took these people on to do exactly the same thing again. I admit, I've been as vocal as anyone as these people are scum.

So I don't understand why I get the piss taken out of me for not just sitting on my fat backside and complaining uselessly, but for taking the kind of action that people were gleefully reporting on only a few short years ago when it was Bid that was in the firing line.

Is OK saying "Well, the ASA won't do nuffink". Which is true if all people do is vent their spleen on a shopping TV forum when they see the likes of these vultures doing anything and everything they can to rob people of their cash.

I honestly personally think that the best way to deal with them is for us all to just keep posting humorous and sarky comments on their ludicrous behaviours, I know people do read them and if it makes people think twice about shopping with them I personally think that's more effective, hit them in the pocket!

The problem I'd have with the ASA is the complaints would mostly be about pricing and their endless myriad of complicated and differing promotions. If the truth be told I suspect it would take quite a lot of work to compile the evidence and I'm honest enough to admit I can't be bothered but I think they're hanging themselves anyway, There are other issues like undue pressure but again I suspect it's not as straight forward to prove as when the goons at Bid just flat lied about the products, I genuinely haven't seen much evidence of that on Ideal, I've always maintained that.

But of course you should do what you think is right Enigma, definitely, and I'm sure we'd all help if there's anything we can do regarding a specific incident. I do personally believe this company to be far from transparent, I do believe them to be very devious and the worsening behaviours of the presenters is jaw dropping at times. It's that behaviour which has long made think this company is not in rude health.

It's a revolting channel but so funny, and dreadful :mysmilie_59:

 

[Enigma]

I think you're overestimating things.

Look at QVC for instance: on here it gets the mickey taken out of it ruthlessly for having overpriced fashion that makes you look like an escapee from a mental institution, extortionate P&P, and diabolically bad salespeople/presenters on a par with De Knees or Poo Poo at Ideal World.

But does this prevent the snobby QVC faithful from gushing and fawning over the company and presenters? Nope, because they stick to QVC's FB page and see forums like this as full of mad shopping telly heretics. The same was true of Bid but in a different way; people excused a lot as long as they found it funny. That's why the bosses of Ideal let Pervy Pete run riot. They know they're selling sh!te, so why should they care if we say we know it too?

There'll always be x-amount of gullible people willing to take a punt, which is why they push flexi-pays at every opportunity possible.

 

[Wirral70]

I think you're overestimating things.

Look at QVC for instance: on here it gets the mickey taken out of it ruthlessly for having overpriced fashion that makes you look like an escapee from a mental institution, extortionate P&P, and diabolically bad salespeople/presenters on a par with De Knees or Poo Poo at Ideal World.

But does this prevent the snobby QVC faithful from gushing and fawning over the company and presenters? Nope, because they stick to QVC's FB page and see forums like this as full of mad shopping telly heretics. The same was true of Bid but in a different way; people excused a lot as long as they found it funny. That's why the bosses of Ideal let Pervy Pete run riot. They know they're selling sh!te, so why should they care if we say we know it too?

There'll always be x-amount of gullible people willing to take a punt, which is why they push flexi-pays at every opportunity possible.

I'm not a fan of QVC but mostly because of their 'up their own ar&@' style and their often lack of value and I think my posts kind of give a nod towards that but I genuinely don't see any of the let's say more 'exotic shenanigans' that I see on Ideal World. QVC and Ideal World are like night and day, for me anyway,

But people do read this forum, especially when prompted to. Even on this forum you get some people who have an axe to grind with one particular channel but it's always obvious when someone is biased towards an outlet as their posts tend to be exclusively negative about one retailer and exclusively positive about another.

But you're dead right about QVC's Facebook pages Enigma. In fact I don't take any notice of any retailers own reviews or their social media pages, pages which they can of course edit themselves,

They have no such luxury on here which is why it is very effective at highlighting matters. The thing with Ideal World though is I do believe that they are so downright sneaky and I don't think it would be that easy to nail them via the ASA but I do believe they'll nail themselves. Their pricing BS is being noticed quite widely now.

One thing they could be easily nailed for is when you hear certain (not all) goons referring to Flexipay as 'interest free credit' as it isn't credit. It wouldn't be in the category of an upheld complaint but they'd be told to stop saying it as it's a blatant lie and would certainly spoil certain stooges mantra :mysmilie_59:

 

[shopperholic]

I don't have "an axe to grind" with any channel, you'd literally have to have no life and care to do that. What I do though is give a comment honestly as I can, in twenty years my QVC shopping experience wasn't an enjoyable one, so I'll say so. I've had no problems shopping with IW in seventeen but if I did I'd say so too, believe me I'd say so, I wasn't going to comment on here again but I have, is that because I'm gullible? won't be commenting again, hey look at that! :mysmilie_17: turns out I'm not.

 

[Wirral70]

Apparently Dirty Peter has been using the Bike Box for some 18 months to 2 years. He loves it.

Funny that because when he was first shilling the Vibrapower Belt just after his extended break after Christmas he said he'd only relatively recently began his new fitness regime.

So he's using Total Crunch, Bike Box and every single Vibrapower gizmo that's around. I wonder if he still smokes, I rather suspect that he does.

That's a bit like having a Diet Coke with your Gregg's Pasty isn't it? :mysmilie_59:

 

[Enigma]

I don't have "an axe to grind" with any channel, you'd literally have to have no life and care to do that. What I do though is give a comment honestly as I can, in twenty years my QVC shopping experience wasn't an enjoyable one, so I'll say so. I've had no problems shopping with IW in seventeen but if I did I'd say so too, believe me I'd say so, I wasn't going to comment on here again but I have, is that because I'm gullible? won't be commenting again, hey look at that! :mysmilie_17: turns out I'm not.

I hate them all equally. It saves time.

 

[merryone]

Enigma if you think these channels are doing things that aren't above board, then feel free to report them to whomever you feel necessary. I reported the bid channels on quite a few occassions when I thought that there sales pitches were being deliberately misleading and when the assistants said the most ridiculous things - I think that they ended up having in excess of 30 upheld complaints against them, and this did result in them having to be more "transparent". Their downfall was down to finance in the end, I would say that these complaints helped them along the way as it obviously made potential customers think twice about buying from them and the less customers the less money of course. I watch qvc and IW quite a lot and I really haven't seen anything (apart from Moik's highly offensive sexist banter) that has made me feel like I want to complain, and I have started to notice that their extra charges postage and packaging (The price of the call at 20p per minute seems particularly extortionate) are being brushed under the carpet - but at least they do cap the amount you'd spend unlike bid, who thought it reasonable to expect you to pay £32 to have four packs of socks delivered! They seem to vary the postage and packing costs according to the item, whearas and with bid it was £8 for everything and raised to anything up to £15 for bulky items.