Pearls of Wisdom (Not Norman, either, for those who remember....)

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historymystery

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Just been watching Dave T. and Lynsey flogging freshwater cultured pearl necklace, different coloured pearls. The mis-pronunciation is off the scale, likewise the claims.

Lynsey, you would have a lot more credibility if you pronounced your words correctly - it's not sin-ger-lally, it's 'singly' the word you're looking for, likewise not mirry-yards of pearls, but 'myriads'. Price has just dropped by a thousand quid (as you do if they are so rare and underpriced), to £499 and Dave's telling us no pearls should ever be at this low price. Really, Dave? Also that it would cost you over £200 just to get the string of pearls re-strung. I wonder why a brand-new string of pearls should even need re-stringing, if they are such good quality?

PS: Dave's just told us they are being asked for more pearls to be brought to screen....this could be jade all over again.
 
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historymystery said:
Just been watching Dave T. and Lynsey flogging freshwater cultured pearl necklace, different coloured pearls. The mis-pronunciation is off the scale, likewise the claims.

Lynsey, you would have a lot more credibility if you pronounced your words correctly - it's not sin-ger-lally, it's 'singly' the word you're looking for, likewise not mirry-yards of pearls, but 'myriads'. Price has just dropped by a thousand quid (as you do if they are so rare and underpriced), to £499 and Dave's telling us no pearls should ever be at this low price. Really, Dave? Also that it would cost you over £200 just to get the string of pearls re-strung. I wonder why a brand-new string of pearls should even need re-stringing, if they are such good quality?

PS: Dave's just told us they are being asked for more pearls to be brought to screen....this could be jade all over again.
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Random comment, before I comment. I have a CD duo ( Not a Seedy duo :p ) of comic songs. At least one of those is sung by Norman Wisdom. I liked him as a comedian, and was impressed at his singing voice too, which I didn't really recall til that CD.

Now, someone should put a phonetic dictionary here so the 'visitors' from the shopping telly's, can learn how to pronounce. No pun intended, but it needs to be spelled out for some of them. I know there's some threads here: not just this one, where 'we' fawn over the wonderful words that come out of the presenter's mouths, when they aren't putting their feet in them. It puts me in mind of Lynn. She used to speak relatively well when it came to the stone's names, until she went all metaphysical. Labb-rad-OR-rite, as an example.

I suppose I should mention the pearls now. Selling tactics and mini(?) soap box moment. Why tell 'everyone' they should never be priced that low? They do it, so that proves they can do it and 'still' make some (a lot) of profit. This bar of Gold is worth £5555555 per oz, but you can have it for £20. They 'shouldn't' mention it: it's NOT what they are selling it for, so it's superfluous (I'm pleased, I spelled that word right first time: and I can say it too ;) )

And, I'm sure I've heard the answer somewhere, but I have a sieve like a memory, or something like that, but if you actually have a professional string pearls, what is the period before restringing? Certainly not as soon as you get it out of the box on the day of arrival to your door.
 
Ant7t said:
Random comment, before I comment. I have a CD duo ( Not a Seedy duo :p ) of comic songs. At least one of those is sung by Norman Wisdom. I liked him as a comedian, and was impressed at his singing voice too, which I didn't really recall til that CD.

Now, someone should put a phonetic dictionary here so the 'visitors' from the shopping telly's, can learn how to pronounce. No pun intended, but it needs to be spelled out for some of them. I know there's some threads here: not just this one, where 'we' fawn over the wonderful words that come out of the presenter's mouths, when they aren't putting their feet in them. It puts me in mind of Lynn. She used to speak relatively well when it came to the stone's names, until she went all metaphysical. Labb-rad-OR-rite, as an example.

I suppose I should mention the pearls now. Selling tactics and mini(?) soap box moment. Why tell 'everyone' they should never be priced that low? They do it, so that proves they can do it and 'still' make some (a lot) of profit. This bar of Gold is worth £5555555 per oz, but you can have it for £20. They 'shouldn't' mention it: it's NOT what they are selling it for, so it's superfluous (I'm pleased, I spelled that word right first time: and I can say it too ;) )

And, I'm sure I've heard the answer somewhere, but I have a sieve like a memory, or something like that, but if you actually have a professional string pearls, what is the period before restringing? Certainly not as soon as you get it out of the box on the day of arrival to your door.
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I only ever heard Wisdom singing his signature tune, the one about Don't Laugh at Me 'Cos I'm a Fool (think that's the right title). I agree, he didn't have a bad voice based on this, but can't remember any other songs he sang.

The saga of the pearls re-stringing just makes the presenter look ridiculous - like any other necklace, the more you wear pearls the quicker they might need re-stringing, but DT wittering on about it when viewers are buying a brand-new string is just blummin' nonsense and makes me think they'll break and be rolling across the floor like ball-bearings almost as soon as you put them on. It's true that jewellers often recommend that you do wear a pearl necklace regularly, as the pearls are supposed (in theory, anyway) to improve with contact with the skin (oils), so you might need to keep an eye on the stringing, but talking about re-stringing costing £200 would put me off buying, not encourage me to buy. I tend to think this figure might be somewhat exaggerated, too.
 
historymystery said:
I only ever heard Wisdom singing his signature tune, the one about Don't Laugh at Me 'Cos I'm a Fool (think that's the right title). I agree, he didn't have a bad voice based on this, but can't remember any other songs he sang.

The saga of the pearls re-stringing just makes the presenter look ridiculous - like any other necklace, the more you wear pearls the quicker they might need re-stringing, but DT wittering on about it when viewers are buying a brand-new string is just blummin' nonsense and makes me think they'll break and be rolling across the floor like ball-bearings almost as soon as you put them on. It's true that jewellers often recommend that you do wear a pearl necklace regularly, as the pearls are supposed (in theory, anyway) to improve with contact with the skin (oils), so you might need to keep an eye on the stringing, but talking about re-stringing costing £200 would put me off buying, not encourage me to buy. I tend to think this figure might be somewhat exaggerated, too.
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I don't recall many others of his, but on hearing them (listening now, just because), they are good, with a comic twist.

Also.

https://pearlcompany.co.uk/restringing-service/

Ignore the pop up asking you to newsletter or whatever. Granted, it's the only site I've checked, but it's obviously a UK specific site. If you can't be bothered to check the site: it says.

We will be delighted to do this for you at a cost of £36 for any necklace of 18” or under with a £1.00 additional fee for each extra necklace inch.

If you would like a change of clasp on your necklace whilst it is being restrung just let us know and we will discuss your requirements with you. The basic price for restringing an 18” necklace and adding a standard 9ct or sterling silver clasp is £66. Any special request clasps will be quoted for separately.

:p
 
If I remember correctly, Jewellery Maker used to sell the silk thread so you can restring yourself. There’s a special knot between each pearl so if the thread breaks you only lose 1 pearl. Mind you with the price shown above it’s hardly worth the hassle of trying to do it yourself
 
Battiola73 said:
If I remember correctly, Jewellery Maker used to sell the silk thread so you can restring yourself. There’s a special knot between each pearl so if the thread breaks you only lose 1 pearl. Mind you with the price shown above it’s hardly worth the hassle of trying to do it yourself
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They did. With an attached needle too. And yes, not that I'm a jewellery maker, but I learn things occasionally ;) They did say that's why the knot is there, or more to the point, why they knot the higher end pearls, and not just 'string'.
 
Kit10 said:
£200! Blimey I got my Grandmother’s pearls restrung about 15 years ago and it was £20!
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Ah, but this wouldn't be just any re-stringing......it would be Gemporia "crapspeak" re-stringing. :LOL:

I find it hard to believe that even today a jeweller would charge £200 to re-string a single strand of cultured or freshwater pearls, unless there was something very special about the provenance of the pearls or the strand was half a mile long.
 
Aw heck. Cheap pearls and Chinwag. My nightmare...time to go back out in the sun with a drink.

Susie Menham: "Even if you don't believe in well-being, my necklace will grow your hair back, give you an underwear model's body and turn you into a God in the bedroom" (obviously not the last bit, but you get the sense of the drivel 🤣).

I thought Well-being was about real health. Isn't that what Ange & Steve claim to sell?

Screenshot_2024-06-29-13-20-32-462.jpeg
 
TheManWithNoName said:
He's chatting ***** as per.

It's a 10 minute for someone with a bead threading needle and some cord. Maybe an hour if you want each pearl knotted.

£20 unknotted or £60 knotted would be a reasonable fee for that job.
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Thanks - I was thinking in terms of about £50.00 max. unless for some reason the pearls were very special. I think the rule of thumb at Gemporia, when presenters quote prices, is to triple the number they first thought of and add £100.
 
historymystery said:
Ah, but this wouldn't be just any re-stringing......it would be Gemporia "crapspeak" re-stringing. :LOL:
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But Gemporia's string wouldn't just be any old string.

It would be the rarest of strings available from only one location in the world, brought out of Steve Bennett's vault where he's been keeping it secure in Switzerland for the past 10 years. It would be a string so rare, it requires a special 40 minute presentation from Monotone Dave, and would be given a special name of Jadeite-String, worthy of 18 thirty second clocks.

Absolutely.

AndyW said:
Aw heck. Cheap pearls and Chinwag. My nightmare...time to go back out in the sun with a drink.

Susie Menham: "Even if you don't believe in well-being, my necklace will grow your hair back, give you an underwear model's body and turn you into a God in the bedroom" (obviously not the last bit, but you get the sense of the drivel 🤣).

I thought Well-being was about real health. Isn't that what Ange & Steve claim to sell?

View attachment 28983
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Despite all of Susie's claims, it seems that she hasn't found a gemstone that has the power to give her youthful looks.

I'm genuinely intrigued as to how old she could be. She looks both 50 and 80 years old at the same time.

Perhaps Steve should give her a free trial of his Collagen.

As for Lindsey, if you look closely at that screen shot, you can just about see the steam coming from her ears as her sole brain cell tries to engage into first gear......

I had to look closely at first. I saw something on the shelf behind her and thought it was a brain. Then I realised it was a piece of cloudy stone. Although I suspect there's not much difference..........
 
Battiola73 said:
If I remember correctly, Jewellery Maker used to sell the silk thread so you can restring yourself. There’s a special knot between each pearl so if the thread breaks you only lose 1 pearl. Mind you with the price shown above it’s hardly worth the hassle of trying to do it yourself
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That's right, they did sell it, I remember it now. I might have been tempted to have a go myself, but having seen some of what they sell on there, these days I'd be wary. I have a string of freshwater pearls bought from - yes, I confess it - Argos (Elizabeth Duke range, I think?) in about 1982! They have a small 9ct yellow gold clasp and cost my aunt £16, bought for my birthday one year. My aunt believed (a) that everyone should have a string of pearls, even if they didn't wear them(?, but it didn't pay to argue with her) and (b) she always gave you the receipt for anything she bought you, bless her, as she was a compulsive returner of things she'd bought (today she'd probably be banned from the local shopping centre).

Admittedly, I haven't worn said pearls more than a dozen times in all those years, but never re-strung them. Perhaps I'll get around to it one day. And it's just occurred to me that, by certain selly telly presenters' calculations, the small 9ct gold clasp must be worth at least £150 in today's money. :ROFLMAO:
 

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