Mrs James bought some crimplene
For exercising on the trampoline,
It was a 7XL,
It fitted so well,
And looked right on trend with a little jean.
The kaften was a Michelle Hope TSV,
She saw it this morning on QVC,
She knew she must have it
To feed her great habit,
And hoped that her friends wouldn't disagree.
I thought she looked really quite fetching,
Though Blunty was standing there retching.
I said, "What's with him,
His face looks quite grim?
By the way, your kaftan is stretching."
She said, "Don't be daft, it fits just right."
I said, "Are you sure? It looks quite tight.
It makes you look fatter."
She said, "What does it matter,
And could you not try to be polite?"
She turned round, tutted and flounced,
And onto the trampoline she bounced,
Her togs started splitting,
The stitching was quitting,
The gaping was getting quite pronounced.
I thought that she needed some cheering,
And told her of TSVs nearing:
Kim & Co, and don't forget Quacker,
In their stuff she'd look quite a cracker,
She'll be on-trend when next she's appearing.
