My smelly woman - an update

[merryone]

I'm sure many of you have heard me talk about my smelly neighbour, who's been living in squalor for years since the death of her husband. She had gradually been getting worse with her drinking, smoking and of course personal hygiene (mainly due to having no hot water). She has had regular falls in the home which have resulted in ambulances being called and a couple of brief stays in hospital. The most recent fall was very dramatic. We'd not heard from her for a few days which is not like her, so I called her and the phone went to voicemail. So I went across the road and banged on the window (doorbell doesn't work) and I thought I could hear her groaning. I decided I'd have to go in and see what was going on as she has a key-safe of which I know the number. She was laying on the floor surrounded by about a hundred empty wine bottles, spilled ashtrays, all the other junk and the smell was so horrific, I did well not to vomit. I realised that she needed an ambulance as she could hardly speak, looked really unwell and was lying in excrement.
To cut a long story short, the ambulance arrived and took her to hospital where she stayed for a few weeks, we visited her a few times and were eventually told she'd be able to go back home in a few days. I actually took a nurse aside and said do you know anything about this lady's living conditions, because there's no way she can go back to that place. The nurse said that she didn't know, so I explained that she was under social services, who haven't actually done very much - I was able to tell her the name of her social worker as she often talks about him and left it at that. I gave them my phone number in case anyone wanted to speak to me in more depth.
To cut a long story short I received a phone call from one of the hospital social workers where I explained everything - She was moved to a local rehabilitation unit and a local charity that's connected to the hospital cleaned up her home from top to bottom, gave her a brand new bed, complete with bedding and spare bedding, reinstated the hot water, fixed the leak that was causing problems with her next door neighbour. Via zoom meetings they were able to ascertain what she was happy with them to get rid of and what she definitely wanted to keep. They were unable to fix her central heating but provided her with some brand new halogen heaters, arranged food parcels and are in the process of finding her someone to come in and do some housework for her on a weekly basis.
She's back home now, and seriously I've never known anyone to be so bloody ungrateful. Bed's too hard and too high (imo it isn't), they've got rid of stuff she said she wanted to keep, she moaned that they'd put all her clothes which had been all over the floor into large laundry bags, but as they're not clear, she can't see what's in them at a glance - she reckons they've nicked a valuable fleetwood mac album and replaced it with an album of tv themes that she definitely never bought. After everything, she's starting to smell again. I was hoping that maybe with the big clean up, she'd invite us over, but no. She phoned the other day to ask whether I was having trouble with my tv signal, I was not, so I offered to come over to have a look at hers, she vehemently refused my offer which makes me think she's letting rubbish pile up again. Can't do any more!!!!

 

[maymorganlondon]

I'm sure many of you have heard me talk about my smelly neighbour, who's been living in squalor for years since the death of her husband. She had gradually been getting worse with her drinking, smoking and of course personal hygiene (mainly due to having no hot water). She has had regular falls in the home which have resulted in ambulances being called and a couple of brief stays in hospital. The most recent fall was very dramatic. We'd not heard from her for a few days which is not like her, so I called her and the phone went to voicemail. So I went across the road and banged on the window (doorbell doesn't work) and I thought I could hear her groaning. I decided I'd have to go in and see what was going on as she has a key-safe of which I know the number. She was laying on the floor surrounded by about a hundred empty wine bottles, spilled ashtrays, all the other junk and the smell was so horrific, I did well not to vomit. I realised that she needed an ambulance as she could hardly speak, looked really unwell and was lying in excrement.
To cut a long story short, the ambulance arrived and took her to hospital where she stayed for a few weeks, we visited her a few times and were eventually told she'd be able to go back home in a few days. I actually took a nurse aside and said do you know anything about this lady's living conditions, because there's no way she can go back to that place. The nurse said that she didn't know, so I explained that she was under social services, who haven't actually done very much - I was able to tell her the name of her social worker as she often talks about him and left it at that. I gave them my phone number in case anyone wanted to speak to me in more depth.
To cut a long story short I received a phone call from one of the hospital social workers where I explained everything - She was moved to a local rehabilitation unit and a local charity that's connected to the hospital cleaned up her home from top to bottom, gave her a brand new bed, complete with bedding and spare bedding, reinstated the hot water, fixed the leak that was causing problems with her next door neighbour. Via zoom meetings they were able to ascertain what she was happy with them to get rid of and what she definitely wanted to keep. They were unable to fix her central heating but provided her with some brand new halogen heaters, arranged food parcels and are in the process of finding her someone to come in and do some housework for her on a weekly basis.
She's back home now, and seriously I've never known anyone to be so bloody ungrateful. Bed's too hard and too high (imo it isn't), they've got rid of stuff she said she wanted to keep, she moaned that they'd put all her clothes which had been all over the floor into large laundry bags, but as they're not clear, she can't see what's in them at a glance - she reckons they've nicked a valuable fleetwood mac album and replaced it with an album of tv themes that she definitely never bought. After everything, she's starting to smell again. I was hoping that maybe with the big clean up, she'd invite us over, but no. She phoned the other day to ask whether I was having trouble with my tv signal, I was not, so I offered to come over to have a look at hers, she vehemently refused my offer which makes me think she's letting rubbish pile up again. Can't do any more!!!!

What a fantastic reboot opportunity your neighbour had! It seems to me that there's a lot going on mentally/emotionally with her that a ****-and-span home won't fix, sadly.
She's lucky to have a neighbour like you who gives a damn and is willing to advocate for her. I know you don't do it for praise, but you are doing something wonderful for an isolated person there. You have a good heart!

 

[Twilight]

I'm sure many of you have heard me talk about my smelly neighbour, who's been living in squalor for years since the death of her husband. She had gradually been getting worse with her drinking, smoking and of course personal hygiene (mainly due to having no hot water). She has had regular falls in the home which have resulted in ambulances being called and a couple of brief stays in hospital. The most recent fall was very dramatic. We'd not heard from her for a few days which is not like her, so I called her and the phone went to voicemail. So I went across the road and banged on the window (doorbell doesn't work) and I thought I could hear her groaning. I decided I'd have to go in and see what was going on as she has a key-safe of which I know the number. She was laying on the floor surrounded by about a hundred empty wine bottles, spilled ashtrays, all the other junk and the smell was so horrific, I did well not to vomit. I realised that she needed an ambulance as she could hardly speak, looked really unwell and was lying in excrement.
To cut a long story short, the ambulance arrived and took her to hospital where she stayed for a few weeks, we visited her a few times and were eventually told she'd be able to go back home in a few days. I actually took a nurse aside and said do you know anything about this lady's living conditions, because there's no way she can go back to that place. The nurse said that she didn't know, so I explained that she was under social services, who haven't actually done very much - I was able to tell her the name of her social worker as she often talks about him and left it at that. I gave them my phone number in case anyone wanted to speak to me in more depth.
To cut a long story short I received a phone call from one of the hospital social workers where I explained everything - She was moved to a local rehabilitation unit and a local charity that's connected to the hospital cleaned up her home from top to bottom, gave her a brand new bed, complete with bedding and spare bedding, reinstated the hot water, fixed the leak that was causing problems with her next door neighbour. Via zoom meetings they were able to ascertain what she was happy with them to get rid of and what she definitely wanted to keep. They were unable to fix her central heating but provided her with some brand new halogen heaters, arranged food parcels and are in the process of finding her someone to come in and do some housework for her on a weekly basis.
She's back home now, and seriously I've never known anyone to be so bloody ungrateful. Bed's too hard and too high (imo it isn't), they've got rid of stuff she said she wanted to keep, she moaned that they'd put all her clothes which had been all over the floor into large laundry bags, but as they're not clear, she can't see what's in them at a glance - she reckons they've nicked a valuable fleetwood mac album and replaced it with an album of tv themes that she definitely never bought. After everything, she's starting to smell again. I was hoping that maybe with the big clean up, she'd invite us over, but no. She phoned the other day to ask whether I was having trouble with my tv signal, I was not, so I offered to come over to have a look at hers, she vehemently refused my offer which makes me think she's letting rubbish pile up again. Can't do any more!!!!

You can't; in fact it sounds as though you've always done more than most would, including me. She's obviously capable of deciding how she wants to live which is fine, her ingratitude isn't.

 

[merryone]

There's still a lot to be done, ie the oven needs fixing still, so she's still using a microwave, obviously all the bags of clothing need to be sorted through and either discarded but most importantly washed. She reckons that her washing machine doesn't work, so she needs to get that looked at, but in the meantime go to the laundrette which incidentally is in the next street. We've offered to help her carry the bags to and from, but of course offer refused (can't force her). I know that a clean and ordered home won't get rid of psychological problems, but to have a home where she's not constantly falling over stuff and one that you wouldn't be ashamed to invite people into, must be favourable to the way she was living before. I mean she moaned about it enough. Like MML says, it's a fantastic opportunity to reboot, but I'm pretty sure she won't bother, which is a real shame!

 

[merryone]

I'm also dreading the once a week visits to ours for dinner once again, now that I know she's still pretty smelly and I have to spend ages trying to get rid of the smell she leaves. I was hoping that we would be invited over to hers even if we just bought a takeaway, and sit around her beautiful 6 seater dining table that the cleaners managed to unearth from underneath all the rubbish, and sit and watch a bit of tv on her cleaned up sofa. This visit, I sprayed the place from head to foot with room spray which normally does the trick, but was baffled as to how next morning I could still smell her, I sprayed around again, but again later it was back. This morning I'm saying to OH, I can still smell her, he said " you must be imagining things". A few mins later, Bingo!!! I remembered that last week she was chatting on the phone to OH and she mentioned that she could do with a backpack to make it easier for her to carry shopping home from the local co-op, he said I've got a spare one you can have, and took it over to her. I hadn't realised that she'd returned it, despite oh telling her she could keep it. When she came in, oh must've hung it up in the hallway with our other bags - I noticed it hanging on the rack and as soon as I reached for it, yep, it stunk like about 100 ashtrays! So basically I've had a "***-ash" pomander hung in my hallway for the past three days. I've binned it and have had another spray around so yep at last. Having said all this, if a simple bag can cause such a horrific smell, then would we really want to sit in that atmosphere, especially if she'd no doubt be smoking 'cause it's her own place - she doesn't smoke at ours. Like I say, given time, she'll be back to square one..but hey!

 

[Grizelda]

I'm sure many of you have heard me talk about my smelly neighbour, who's been living in squalor for years since the death of her husband. She had gradually been getting worse with her drinking, smoking and of course personal hygiene (mainly due to having no hot water). She has had regular falls in the home which have resulted in ambulances being called and a couple of brief stays in hospital. The most recent fall was very dramatic. We'd not heard from her for a few days which is not like her, so I called her and the phone went to voicemail. So I went across the road and banged on the window (doorbell doesn't work) and I thought I could hear her groaning. I decided I'd have to go in and see what was going on as she has a key-safe of which I know the number. She was laying on the floor surrounded by about a hundred empty wine bottles, spilled ashtrays, all the other junk and the smell was so horrific, I did well not to vomit. I realised that she needed an ambulance as she could hardly speak, looked really unwell and was lying in excrement.
To cut a long story short, the ambulance arrived and took her to hospital where she stayed for a few weeks, we visited her a few times and were eventually told she'd be able to go back home in a few days. I actually took a nurse aside and said do you know anything about this lady's living conditions, because there's no way she can go back to that place. The nurse said that she didn't know, so I explained that she was under social services, who haven't actually done very much - I was able to tell her the name of her social worker as she often talks about him and left it at that. I gave them my phone number in case anyone wanted to speak to me in more depth.
To cut a long story short I received a phone call from one of the hospital social workers where I explained everything - She was moved to a local rehabilitation unit and a local charity that's connected to the hospital cleaned up her home from top to bottom, gave her a brand new bed, complete with bedding and spare bedding, reinstated the hot water, fixed the leak that was causing problems with her next door neighbour. Via zoom meetings they were able to ascertain what she was happy with them to get rid of and what she definitely wanted to keep. They were unable to fix her central heating but provided her with some brand new halogen heaters, arranged food parcels and are in the process of finding her someone to come in and do some housework for her on a weekly basis.
She's back home now, and seriously I've never known anyone to be so bloody ungrateful. Bed's too hard and too high (imo it isn't), they've got rid of stuff she said she wanted to keep, she moaned that they'd put all her clothes which had been all over the floor into large laundry bags, but as they're not clear, she can't see what's in them at a glance - she reckons they've nicked a valuable fleetwood mac album and replaced it with an album of tv themes that she definitely never bought. After everything, she's starting to smell again. I was hoping that maybe with the big clean up, she'd invite us over, but no. She phoned the other day to ask whether I was having trouble with my tv signal, I was not, so I offered to come over to have a look at hers, she vehemently refused my offer which makes me think she's letting rubbish pile up again. Can't do any more!!!!

Do you have an idea of how old she is?

 

[merryone]

She's 67 so no great age!

 

[mediastar]

I recommend a good sprinkle with Bicarbonate of Soda for smelly residues.