my love affair with qvc is over.....

[Pollybelle]

{{{Rainbowdottie}}} I can totally relate to you and you should give yourself a pat on the back for realising your spending is getting you down and wanting to change things :mysmilie_82: I think once you start to question your spending, it will be much easier to walk away rather than be tempted to buy things that will make you feel guilty. In the past I would go on shopping binges when I felt low but it just stressed me out more afterwards.

I now set myself a goal to save so much money a month and I get just as much of a buzz by saving and reaching my goal. I let myself have little treats but set a budget on what I spend on them and where possible, wait for a sale - it makes the purchase that much sweeter if I have got it at a cheaper price.

If you have cable/Sky telly I definitely recommend watching "Shopaholics". This programme gave me loads of useful tips and opened my eyes as to the way I was shopping.

 

[craftybel]

Thanks from me too-you will have helped so many people, because we can probably all recognise ourselves in the things that you have said! By sharing your thoughts with us, it makes us realise that we are not alone, and by reading the responses we can gain the strength to change. Good for you and thanks to everyone who has responded in such a positive way-really refreshing to see a thread remain so totally on the original subject. That must be a testament to just how much of a raw nerve this touched!

 

[rainbowdottie]

I just want to say again thank you so much.

I've reread my whole thread - and I'm truely touched by all your responses,which in all honestly I wasn't sure it was appropriate to post.

I haven't been on this forum very long - and was shot down very quickly on my first few posts,and wasn't sure if this was a place for me (i'm a scaredy cat ) but I've perserved and have really found myself amongst friends.

At the moment,I feel very strong about my resolve - due the responses here and posts on my other sites - but I'm sure at times my reslove will be tested.If only all addictions could be solved so easily - but I know just to reread this thread and it will make me strong

I 'm really worried that I'm coming across really dramatic - i know i don't owe thousands - and i'm not saying i'll never buy from qvc again - but today's been about a lot of soul searchimg for me ~rosie x

 

[Pick-a-Lily]

I ran up a huge credit card debt once upon a time, (15K+) which thankfully is all but paid off now. It's so easy to buy things you don't need when you are bored, tired or fed up. Or in my case, often the strangest things suddenly became 'must haves' when I had imbibed a glash or two of vino (hic).
I'm much better at returning bad impulse buys these days, and a thread started by Fraggle a couple of years ago really brought home to me how much rubbish I had stashed away and hadn't a hope of using before it went 'orf'. And I pay attention to the states of mind where I previously lost control of reason, with the effect that I now consider purchases much longer and harder before pressing the button.
I never, ever watch QVC now. I rely on this forum for info - and loveheart et al to ram home the message that I don't need whatever it is that may be threatening to lead me from the straight and narrow.
I do still make ocasional purchases, but only within my means. I have a credit card, which I use and pay off in full every month. My remaining debt is on a 0% interest card, and that arrangement will expire in a few months, so I will either need to pay it off or shift it to another 0% deal. I am hopeful that I can shift it one last time, but if not it will just mean a few months of serious belt tightening.
For anyone with debts, or for general moneysaving advice and info I cannot recommend highly enough the www.moneysavingexpert.com website. You are most definitely not alone.

 

[loveheart]

I am following this thread with interest and I would like to say that I have spent vast amounts on beauty products in the past. You name it and I had to have it. It took a lot of willpower to stop buying everything I fancied but I feel that I am in control now.
It also helps that Molton Brown has gone and Philosophy is rubbish.
I still have little wobbles from time to time and allow myself a few treats but mostly I fart.
My sister in law is a shopoholic and has run up huge debts and I have seen how unhappy it has made her so I try not to use credit cards now.
Good luck with clearing your debts RD.

 

[Pollybelle]

I just want to say again thank you so much.
I 'm really worried that I'm coming across really dramatic - i know i don't owe thousands - and i'm not saying i'll never buy from qvc again - but today's been about a lot of soul searchimg for me ~rosie x

Not at all Rainbowdottie - I think there are a lot of us out here that know just how slippery the slope can be when it comes to overspending and it's good to be able to discuss it and support each other. Group hug everyone! :mysmilie_830:

Btw the show on Sky is Spendaholics not Shopaholics :mysmilie_81:

 

[queenie]

good for you Rainbowdottie
you are definately not alone in buying things you either dont want or need,most of us on here wil readily admit to being sucked in by all the sales patter
I am most guilty when it comes to yankee candles and l'occitane stuff
I buy almost every tsv whether I need it or not,I have a stash of great presents in a wardrobe in the spare room but I dont always use them,I have been known to buy things for gifts and then decide they are too good to give away or that they will be a nice treat for me!!
I think its great you told your husband and I am sure he will be very understanding,you have done the right thing and in reality its not a huge debt and I am sure you will have it paid off in no time
good luck with everything xx

 

[iggy]

I've been a viewer from the start and could probably reckon I've spent thousands with them.

I've drastically cut my spending with them since I recieved "The Letter" in about jan last year -but I do still watch and I do still spend every so often.
my balance is about £400 - which I don't think is too bad - my lovely hubby who is really carefully money obbessed,will look really badly on this.

rainbow....i agree & hence why i didnt think the need to fully quote....many moons ago when my hubby used to give me 'houskeeping' money back in those days...i got sucked in with slot machines with a friend & we would spend a small fortune on them..it took me a BIG deep breath to tell hime what i had been doing.....my ex hubby would have smacked me senceless & i was terrified that this placid man would go bananas when i too HAD to come clean..his reply was " you mean ive been busting my b'''ls so you & chris can go play fruit machines......" he went onto say that if i had needed more money as that was my plea.....he said all i had to do was ask.......since then i have had 3 children & they are grown up & all is well with the world...why not ask him to have a set amount to spend on TSV's & to sell on ebay if thats what you enjoy doing....you never know he too might join in & you could do it together & make a few ££ even if just a very few to while away sometimes some lonely times that us ladies at times go through.....good luck honey & im sure youre not on your own...i only read your post & the start of the next person saying you wer brave & i had to jump in & say well done you..... :mysmilie_82:

 

[Beading Belle]

We all have bought things in the past that we don't need - think thats human nature, so don't beat yourself about it. Well done you RD for the honest post. You have taken the first step and I wish you all the best. Hopefully you will be starting a new thread debt free very soon xx

 

[iggy]

rosie
dont beat yourself up....we dont go out very often [ its usually the kids saying dad take mum out ],, but we all have to have treats...BUT someone on here said £40 on just some soap made me stop as i was going to buy the l'oocitane tsv even though we havent even started the 2nd lot of the auto delivery of 4 lots + i have a set of elemis ginger lime stuff.....so whoever that was I THANK you..we do get carried away with the patter especially the try it for 30 days & send it back........part way down we dont feel like we should or in my case have lost the return label......like others have said £400 isnt a lot in the grand scheme of things in this day & age [ thankfully were a bit like you in that we dont do holidays etc but thats due to all our animals & having people look after them all....]......i think you do sound like your name...a rainbow is beautiful & dottie....well i think thats the majority of us on here.....[ i speak for myself of course ]....well done sweet pea...you sould have known we would have all been behind you......

 

[addy]

RD, I have to add my support, your words are very moving - and you are not being dramatic or silly. Whatever the amount, debt is something very personal to each individual - I know of people with thousands (and I mean £30,000 of debt) and I just don't know how they cope. Your £400 is miniscule by comparison but to you it's still a big deal and respect for coming clean especially to hubby.

With regards to replies to your posts it's a shame if anyone is upset by people's responses and I'm sure that's not the intention. I am fairly new to the forum, I think it's such fun, and we're all free to express our opinion. My very best friend and I work for the same company but in different jobs which often overlap and we regularly have heated discussions where we invariably have to 'agree to disagree' as we call it. It's our way of saying each of us is entitled to have a different opinion but at the end of the day it's not important enough to affect our friendship.

Good luck RD and don't you go anywhere xx

 

[Bea Frugal]

I know I'm very new to the forum and kind of feel like I'm intruding on something private but I am very touched by this thread. I'm not a shopaholic in the sense of reckless spending but I do watch more qvc than is good for me. It is so easy to be lulled by their constant friendly patter and sometimes, even though I don't even like an item, I find myself starting to worry as it approaches limited stock and thinking well which colour should I get and which size would be right and have I got time to get my card before it sells out. Does anyone else do that? I have to shake myself severely and remind myself that it's something I DO NOT WANT NEED OR LIKE. So I can easily understand how you can be sucked into the dream. Finding this forum is a boon for me because I'm the only one in my house who watches shopping tv and if my DH or DD are around I switch off sharpish or feel their scorn! So we can all gain from each others posts in different ways.

Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive hubbie Rainbow and you are very aware of your issues which is half the battle. Get support from wherever you can and you will beat the demon. :mysmilie_696:

 

[lizdelassa]

Have just been reading this very personal, emotional thread. I want to ask as I am ignorant to abbreviations DH and DD what are these? Also what is "the letter"?

On another note. I have bought jewellery on and off for the past 12 years or so. I have recently given a lot of the older stuff away and there's still items that I've never worn, and shamefacedly will never wear. I justify buying these items by saying I go out and earn money and have a decent wage, I have given up smoking, don't drink, my partner and I rarely go out for a meal, we don't have a mortgage so why not? The reason why not is because it's easy to fall into the spending trap. My OH and kids always get fed up when QVC is on and my OH's sister always asks me where I got my jewellery from - oh yes QVC. I don't have enough holes in my ears for my 80+ pairs of earrings or enough neckline for my 30+ necklaces and my job doesn't warrant me wearing jewellery all the time. I think I've spent £15,000 over the years and now try only to buy in clearance or something that I have wanted for a long time. I don't buy too many beauty products but do have a love of candles which has been my main purchase along with the jewellery.

What I would like to say is it doesn't matter how much you spend, you know what is a comfortable amount and what is not. I have been able to turn my back on QVC in the past but now need to get into the right frame of mind. One thing I know is that QVC does rely on those that are ill. How many times I hear a caller say they have just gotten over a bad bout of... or that they are disabled and even some people on this thread have said they are suffering from depression. I myself started watching QVC religiously when I was out of work due to illness. It is an addiction like any other and I'm glad that so many people are honest enough to admit it.

Well done All and thanks for making an honest woman of me!:mysmilie_687:
PS I like the expression "trying to fill a hole in the soul" very apt

 

[rainbowdottie]

Thank you so much everyone.

The biggest problem I have found last night is finding something else to watch :mysmilie_61:

Don't get me wrong,I've managed to qvc for years and have had months of not buying - but I do realise QVC is a habit - particularly as my hubby works nightshift and its a bit of company for me,whilst hes a work and the kids are all upstairs doing their own thing.

Added to the fact,that I don't watch much other TV,apart from eastenders,QVC has become an easy habit.

I've no intention of giving up QVC completely - but if I can get out of the habit of watching it for relaxation,that would help me

 

[rainbowdottie]

PS
DD - darling daughter
DH - darling husband
DS - darling son

The Letter,is when qvc write to tell you that you have returned too many things - and please take more care (ie stop doing it!!) otherwise they will look to cancelling your account.

Quite offensive to most people as we all ever hear is about the 30 day MBG - and try this and try that and send it back,blah blah

 

[Lucy-loo]

How very true all these replies are, especially the ones about not dreaming of paying £40 for bath products in the shop, but will happily do it on QVC,
Also I seem to be a secret watcher, and quickly switch it over if my hubby or sons come in, I'm sure they think I watch the adult channels, maybe they would be cheaper.....

I admit I have probably spent thousands over the years, but just lately I am trying not to watch, as there is nothing I need,
my worst things are Locitane, Liz Earle and anything technical, and even still I cant resist looking what the TSV is, and knowing if I look long enough I will want it.

Its all a bit sad really how you can become addicted to a shopping channel of all things, I dont think I would admit to anybody else.

 

[VALM]

Hi Rainbowdottie, you are definitely not alone and as others said at least you have realised that there is a problem.

I used to spend a lot more with QVC before I lost my job in December 2008. I remember MrM pulling me up about it saying that I spent about £200.00 a month on myself and at that time I did feel abashed and decided at that point that enough was enough. As another poster has said though I used to really feel upset if a product went limited stock and this was usually when I felt the urge to buy it and like others on here found myself with a huge beauty (as that's all I buy from QVC really and Yankee Candles) stockpile.

When I lost my job I ebayed a lot of the items and made some cash back but now I really do fart a lot, even when out shopping to the point that MrM now says that I "think too much before I buy and take the joy out of it" (can't win, can I?).

I'd also add that £400.00 is not that much and would also recommend you watch Spendaholics - thanks for the person who posted about it still being on as I used to love watching - as it gives you a really good perspective of how badly some people do get into debt. I remember seeing one episode about a guy who collected anything to do with Japan. The presenters asked him if he had ever been and he said no as he couldn't affod it they totted up all his purchases and told him he could have visited there about 10 times over it really makes you think.

As someone else has said I can't see a £400.00 debt being a big deal to your new Lender so maybe you shouldn't worry too much on that score. Keep posting here though - you're certainly amongst friends. x

 

[mariecat]

I sympathise Rainbowdottie. Well done for waking up to the spending. If it's any consolation, £400 is a drop in the ocean compared to most credit card debt, and would be of no importance whatsoever - imo - to any mortgage application (sounds like things have tightened up on the mortage front, surely - I remember us being asked about any credit debt, but never actually having to show statements - thank god!).

 

[rainbowdottie]

I don't think £400 is too bad myself - and thats why I've always been quite happy to coast along at this balance.

However,I do accept that its a problem to my hubby - and when you're overdrawn at the end of the month,theres no treats or any fun,and the wife's still spending,and its all on herself at the rate of about £150 a month - I could see that,that could give me the hump :mysmilie_34:

Not that my lovely hubby has said that to me - but I do see that I've been very selfish.Apart from my lovely tiffant lights - I really don't have much to show for the thousands I've spent with qvc.

I have watched today - and the combination of DF and fashion is great way of remebering why i don't want to buy:mysmilie_697:

 

[silversequin]

I have identified with all the posts on this lovely, honest, supportive thread and think I will read it often to keep me on the straight and narrow and also to help me realise that I am not the only one. When we dig a bit deeper as to what motives and propels our QVC viewing it turns out to be pretty complex stuff. I have felt so heartened by the posts on here, thank you Rainbow Dottie for being brave. Forget who recommneded Money Saving Expert, but I want to second that. It is a brilliant site, especially the "debtfreewanabee" forum, people with all sorts of level of debt post on there. I also forget who said about the £40 on soap but it is going to stick in my head for a long time. Can you imagine going into M and S and seeing soap for this price? you would laugh out loud and think that they had lost the plot!! One of the nicest liquid soaps I ever had was an Asda one, smelt gorgeous and was about £2.