A lot of what AY says - IMO
All of what GC says - ditto, although we can have a good laugh about it on here, so maybe it's worth it
"This product will last months" - it didn't in my case though
"Check out our website, all the reviews are 5-star" - yeah all 2 of them
"I just love this product" - JF of course, who loves everything
And of course:
"you've got your 30 day money-back guarantee, so you've got nothing to lose"
No doubt I'll think of more; I've often shouted at the TV "no, you're wrong/telling porkies again"!