If you were on selly telly, what role would you take?

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thatu

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Just a bit of fun over the festive season ... Which presenter type would you be if you were on selly telly?

I'd be the fat-girl-inside-a-thin-body one, always obsessing about weight and ALWAYS fishing for compliments. I must admit, I do like a compliment or two and I never seem to get many, so this would be my opportunity. I could eat chocolates to my heart's content, knowing that next day I'd be on a diet of some sort that I could tell the world about and THEN - the best bit - people would tell me I wasn't fat and how great I looked on all the weight I'd lost. Win-win!
:mysmilie_5:
 
I would be the girl who gets her P45 because I can't bring myself to lie and/or say she loves everything single thing sold.
 
We think you are terrific, thatu. You have a great sense of humour, are obviously very intelligent as well as funny, and you must look great at whatever size you are because you are obviously full of goodwill towards the world and at peace with yourself.
 
Afraid I'd also get the chuck after about an hour (that's if I lasted that long). I just know I'd have a fit of the giggles trying to think of enough carp to say about the products. And if they put me on with Howard 'The Bowels' or Pope Pete (aka Poward), I'd have to make my excuses and leave, or feign a fainting fit. I don't think they could pay me enough money to go on with either of those 2.
 
I will be one of those presenters who buys everything which is demonstrated, because naturally I work very long hours, combining the over exposure of JF and DF in one body, and so can afford everything. Then like most of the presenters, I will move to a larger house, and tell the viewers all about my move in great detail, because I need a larger house to hold all my stuff.

I will be endlessly popular with my girlfriends, and am a legend wherever teachers, crossing patrol wardens and dustmen gather, for my stupendous generosity to them.
 
historymystery said:
Afraid I'd also get the chuck after about an hour (that's if I lasted that long). I just know I'd have a fit of the giggles trying to think of enough carp to say about the products. And if they put me on with Howard 'The Bowels' or Pope Pete (aka Poward), I'd have to make my excuses and leave, or feign a fainting fit. I don't think they could pay me enough money to go on with either of those 2.
Click to expand...

Ditto! :mysmilie_17:
 
Miss G, you need to move to a bigger house that needs total renovation, then you can bore the pants off everyone giving a blow-by-blow account of what you need to do in each room, and how the miracle products sold by Q are helping you to achieve the home of your dreams.
Miss Grumpy said:
I will be one of those presenters who buys everything which is demonstrated, because naturally I work very long hours, combining the over exposure of JF and DF in one body, and so can afford everything. Then like most of the presenters, I will move to a larger house, and tell the viewers all about my move in great detail, because I need a larger house to hold all my stuff.

I will be endlessly popular with my girlfriends, and am a legend wherever teachers, crossing patrol wardens and dustmen gather, for my stupendous generosity to them.
Click to expand...
 
thatu said:
Just a bit of fun over the festive season ... Which presenter type would you be if you were on selly telly?

I'd be the fat-girl-inside-a-thin-body one, always obsessing about weight and ALWAYS fishing for compliments. I must admit, I do like a compliment or two and I never seem to get many, so this would be my opportunity. I could eat chocolates to my heart's content, knowing that next day I'd be on a diet of some sort that I could tell the world about and THEN - the best bit - people would tell me I wasn't fat and how great I looked on all the weight I'd lost. Win-win!
:mysmilie_5:
Click to expand...
:mysmilie_11:
 
Well I can't take up the job until I write my first novel then I will come on and talk endlessly about it and about the next and next and next. And remind you that a few signed copies are still available.

I will always wear a size small and swish my hair at every opportunity.
 
I just couldn't do it.

I'd either dry up with the constant yakking from the production team in my ear, or dry up because otherwise I'd bore myself silly saying exactly the same things over and over again. I might do better with products I have some enthusiasm for, but perhaps not.

I don't necessarily like some of the presenters, but I do have admiration for all of those stringing coherent sentences together, and asking the questions I need answers to (so no, Peter Simon, you are not included in my admiration!!).

I suspect if I was like anyone, I'd be a cross between Jackie Kabler (who only enthuses when she actually likes a product) and Marv (who, much as I like her, often struggles for something to say about the products).
 
maymorganlondon said:
I just couldn't do it.

I'd either dry up with the constant yakking from the production team in my ear, or dry up because otherwise I'd bore myself silly saying exactly the same things over and over again. I might do better with products I have some enthusiasm for, but perhaps not.

I don't necessarily like some of the presenters, but I do have admiration for all of those stringing coherent sentences together, and asking the questions I need answers to (so no, Peter Simon, you are not included in my admiration!!).

I suspect if I was like anyone, I'd be a cross between Jackie Kabler (who only enthuses when she actually likes a product) and Marv (who, much as I like her, often struggles for something to say about the products).
Click to expand...

They've all been in the "entertainment" industry for many years so if they can't do it buy now, then they really should give up their day job........yes Chloe Everton and Peter Simon, I'm talking to you.
 
I will be the ex dancer one (I've 6 left feet but why should that stop me) who will tell you I have bad feet and can only wear toe posts or Emu.
 
I would really like to be the one who kicks enough ***es to get the sizes sorted and the "what colour are we calling this" sorted once and for all.

I thank you, I thank you (takes bow and leaves left of stage)
 
I suppose if I was to pick one though, I'd be the little chubby one that has convinced my fans I'm really a size 8, and they can be too if they buy my "diet" book, I'd also build up a big fan base via QVCs free publicity that they allow me, you know just incase I can get one more person to buy one of my rubbish, slutty novels......every little helps.
 
I would be the untidy dumpy one who stumbles over my words and talks endlessly about my daughters wedding and takes my dedication to work sooooo far I actually wear Q's clothes and a very recent TSV as my mother of the bride outfit!
 
historymystery said:
Miss G, you need to move to a bigger house that needs total renovation, then you can bore the pants off everyone giving a blow-by-blow account of what you need to do in each room, and how the miracle products sold by Q are helping you to achieve the home of your dreams.
Click to expand...

Truly there is no end to the fascination of the viewers with the minutiae of my life. I will have UglyFaceBook and Twatter accounts so that I can send my adoring public photos and twats of every stage of my renovations and moving. A few pics of me in a hard hat with a dishy young builder will help to convince you that I have stupendous pulling power and am much younger and thinner than I appear on the television screen. I know you all like to compliment me and are deeply envious of my life. But that's the fame that comes from being on the silver screen for you. And knowing that you are sitting in your pathetically under furnished small living rooms, wanting to buy some more QVC tat so that you can aspire to a lifestyle like mine, makes me feel so good that I can help you. Jump to those phones..
 
I shall be the one who knows the cost of every coffee and cake in London, the car parking charges of every DHS so that I can assure you that my overinflated prices are a snip in comparison and that 4EP are just 4 cups of coffee.

Simper, simper, looks on monitor and gives my self a kiss!
 
If I was a bloke, I'd be the cheesy one hoping I'd get spotted annnnnnd booked for Panto season in Brighton.
 

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